Song
1st June 2002, 11:17 AM
I know that's probably a *gasp* for some of you who have children. How can a woman in her right mind NOT want at least one? I won't go fully into it for the sake of not offending some of you, but I will say that it is not because of my own childhood. No, I don't hate children...I just don't enjoy being around them and don't even find babies cute. Please don't say I will change my mind, because I am sure. I am 28 and have never in my life felt anything resembling the pangs for motherhood. With the freespirited way I enjoy life, motherhood would be like death to me.
My husband (who is 25) feels the opposite. He enjoys kids and longs for fatherhood. He says he doesn't know if he could be happy without them, though he says he is happy with me now. He thinks that years later he might become bitter towards me for denying him a chance at fatherhood.
He knew before we married--long before we even got engaged, for that matter--that I strongly do not want children. We had a formal discussion about that, and I told him that if he wasn't sure he could live happily without parenthood he needed to tell me then, so as to avoid a lot of heartache later. He said that was okay, that he could be happy as long as he had me and that he didn't need children to feel complete.
He says now that he loves me more deeply than I can know and that he doesn't want to give up all the beautiful things about our relationship (I can't imagine how our marriage could in other respects be more ideal) and that I couldn't possibly be a more amazing wife than I already am. He said there is nothing else bothering him--yet he's not sure if he's going to keep me. He is seriously considering divorcing me so that he can eventually find a woman with whom he can have a child.
He does not currently spend much time with children and says he does not want to babysit, mentor, work with a youth organization...(says it would only intensify his desire for a child of his own.)
My husband and I have always been faithful to one another and our sex life is very good, so I know it can't be that...
I will let him go if that is truly the only way he can be happy...but I don't want to.
Anyone else been there and resolved this? Or do you have an opinion, insight or advice you would like to share?
I thank you in advance for your replies.
My husband (who is 25) feels the opposite. He enjoys kids and longs for fatherhood. He says he doesn't know if he could be happy without them, though he says he is happy with me now. He thinks that years later he might become bitter towards me for denying him a chance at fatherhood.
He knew before we married--long before we even got engaged, for that matter--that I strongly do not want children. We had a formal discussion about that, and I told him that if he wasn't sure he could live happily without parenthood he needed to tell me then, so as to avoid a lot of heartache later. He said that was okay, that he could be happy as long as he had me and that he didn't need children to feel complete.
He says now that he loves me more deeply than I can know and that he doesn't want to give up all the beautiful things about our relationship (I can't imagine how our marriage could in other respects be more ideal) and that I couldn't possibly be a more amazing wife than I already am. He said there is nothing else bothering him--yet he's not sure if he's going to keep me. He is seriously considering divorcing me so that he can eventually find a woman with whom he can have a child.
He does not currently spend much time with children and says he does not want to babysit, mentor, work with a youth organization...(says it would only intensify his desire for a child of his own.)
My husband and I have always been faithful to one another and our sex life is very good, so I know it can't be that...
I will let him go if that is truly the only way he can be happy...but I don't want to.
Anyone else been there and resolved this? Or do you have an opinion, insight or advice you would like to share?
I thank you in advance for your replies.