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Ronster
28th May 2002, 07:12 AM
While I was off working for a few months my wife met a guy and wen out with him. I found out about it and she says she wants to stay with me, but she can't seem to let completely go of this guy. I have found numerous emails and she romied to top communicating wit him and work on our relationship, but I found ut she has continued to write him and I'm not sure but they may be talking on the phone. The thing now also is she says she won't have sex with me because she just isn't aroused or cannot get excited about sex. She has said I had to change to make our marriage work and I have made the changes or a least I made a turn in the direction she desires, but she doesn't know if she ever antsto have e again nd I will just have to accept it. What am I to do?

Song
1st June 2002, 01:04 PM
He-llo! She can't keep her pants on and says you have to change? What a crock! That's just horrible. How heartless. Ronster, you deserve better than that. Respect yourself. Don't cheat; leave her.

Cha-ching: my two pence and pocketful of lint.

Song

Liz
2nd June 2002, 08:04 PM
Can't say that I agree that you should just leave. You do have problems, but I happen to think that a marriage is worth working at even when one partner is messing around and confused.

It sounds a bit as though your wife is using the sex angle to control you and that's not what sex should be all about in marriage. She is probably struggling with your sex life together because she is still involved with this other man. The important issue is surely not your physical relationship, but establishing some honesty and rebuilding trust (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/infidelity/trust/). The physical side will sort itself out as you sort out the rest of your relationship.

If there are things she wants changing perhaps you can suggest some counselling (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/counselling/) together, because there most likely needs to be some changes on both sides.