Unregistered
16th May 2002, 06:38 PM
I have recently discovered that my husband is having an internet "affair" - for lack of a better term I guess.
He started chatting with this woman just as friends, and I have found out that besides normal chatting, they are now doing the "what would you like me to do to you" routine late at night, after I've gone to bed. I confronted him about it & he said it was only a 1 time thing, and it wouldn't ever happen again etc... Well, it's still continuing. I have asked him to be honest with me, but he will not admit to it & gets angry when I tell him that I know it's still going on. He thinks I saw the chat archives & that's how I found out, so now he deletes them. Well, that's not how I find out about everything. I can't tell him, obviously, how I know things (& I don't tell him what all I do know), because I want to honestly know what is going on & this, unfortunately, is the only way I'm going to find out. Then, last night I discovered that while they were "chatting" , he was also checking out alot of hard core porn sites - goes from bad to worse now!!
He says he won't give up his "friend" & will not to to a counselor, but that I am the one with the problem; and that since our marriage has not been the greatest lately, it's basically my fault that things are like they are.
I have so many questions, where do I start?!?
Do I just come right out & tell him all that I know & show him the proof? Do I give him an ultimatum & if he says no, try a separation?
Another thing that adds to this whole thing is that we live in the US, (I'm American he is British), and I know he misses his friends & family, and he doesn't have any real good friends here (just co-workers etc...)so, I know he is lonely. But, that is a pretty poor excuse to start an internet fling! Any ideas, words of wisdom, anything would be wonderful!! I really do love him, and I think he does love me, but it doesn't seem to matter or be enough for him! HELP!!
Thanks :)
He started chatting with this woman just as friends, and I have found out that besides normal chatting, they are now doing the "what would you like me to do to you" routine late at night, after I've gone to bed. I confronted him about it & he said it was only a 1 time thing, and it wouldn't ever happen again etc... Well, it's still continuing. I have asked him to be honest with me, but he will not admit to it & gets angry when I tell him that I know it's still going on. He thinks I saw the chat archives & that's how I found out, so now he deletes them. Well, that's not how I find out about everything. I can't tell him, obviously, how I know things (& I don't tell him what all I do know), because I want to honestly know what is going on & this, unfortunately, is the only way I'm going to find out. Then, last night I discovered that while they were "chatting" , he was also checking out alot of hard core porn sites - goes from bad to worse now!!
He says he won't give up his "friend" & will not to to a counselor, but that I am the one with the problem; and that since our marriage has not been the greatest lately, it's basically my fault that things are like they are.
I have so many questions, where do I start?!?
Do I just come right out & tell him all that I know & show him the proof? Do I give him an ultimatum & if he says no, try a separation?
Another thing that adds to this whole thing is that we live in the US, (I'm American he is British), and I know he misses his friends & family, and he doesn't have any real good friends here (just co-workers etc...)so, I know he is lonely. But, that is a pretty poor excuse to start an internet fling! Any ideas, words of wisdom, anything would be wonderful!! I really do love him, and I think he does love me, but it doesn't seem to matter or be enough for him! HELP!!
Thanks :)