National Domestic Abuse Register Y/N

[Lstevo]

I was a domestic abuse victim for nearly 10 years. Fortunately with support I managed to escape that life and now 5 years on, I am living a pretty normal life.

There have been recent debates in the news as to if there should be a national domestic abuse register.

I believe there should be. I suffered at the hands of my husband physical and mental abuse. I was told by others that he had done this before but I didn’t believe them.

If there had been a register, maybe I would not have become a victim. I have found a site called the rat book. They have listed a large number of these people who inflict this abuse. And on which is my ex-husband.

I would ask you all to check this out, read the stories and answer this question. Should there be a register?

[Ageing Grace]

Tricky question.

Some partners simply are abusers - generally the ones who abuse people in other areas of life, too.

Others, though they probably have some unattractive qualities, are 'pushed' into it by the dynamics of a particular relationship. We had a discussion about this here, relating to co-dependency. I certainly have been guilty of taking part in abused-abuser relationships. As far as I'm aware, those men did not abuse their later spouses in the same way.

Your comment that people had told you he abused previous partners is revealing, I think, Lstevo. Some of us, here, actively encourage worried spouses to contact their predecessors for this very reason. It's a hard decision to take. But I consider it worth the possible distress! There are such things as behaviour patterns; I think it's a good idea to know what kind of pattern you're signing up for ...

Maybe if such a register could take multiple complaints into account, it would be helpful. But how on earth would that be put together?

Glad you're out of it now :) Welcome to the forums!

AG