daydream believer
15th November 2009, 08:54 PM
I have been with my husband for 15 years and married for 11. We have 3 beautiful children aged 10, 7 and 3 but have been having difficulties in our marriage for some considerable time. Unfortunately our eldest son was very poorly when he was 3 1/2 years old which resulted in lots of hospital treatment and a very scary time for 3 years or more. I feel that we never really got over it, despite the support and counselling you receive. We have been separated now for 3 months. He lives at his mother's house and I, for now, live in the marital home. The main reason for our separation was due to his unreasonable behaviour. For days he would ignore me and the children, when he did say anything it was always to shout at us or criticise us. He became jealous of my friends, my social life and the people I met when I changed jobs. We have completely run out of things to say to each other that are not hurtful and have nothing in common except the children. However I even found myself going out alone with the children just so that we could get away from the tension in the house.
I have tried to remain friends with him but keep my distance as early on in the separation he would inform me that he could only be happy if I let him come home and should sacrifice my own happiness for his. Sorry if this is long winded.
However now he has a new friend :rolleyes:. The wife of a male friend of mine who is himself going through a divorce. Myself and this male friend have always been close, and there have been times when he has brought his children over to the house to spend time with mine. We have always been upfront and honest about this to both of our spouses.Recently my husband has refused to speak to the male friend of mine (is this a guilt thing) as they work together and will even look at the floor if they happen to be in the same place at the same time. He appears to be jealous of my relationship with him but will not discuss it with me when I try to raise the subject and just shuts down.
The wife of my male friend has also commented in the past that she has no problem with our friendship (we have been friends for 8 years) however we have found out from other mutual friends that she has been emailing them asking them "what is going on" between us and has been saying lots of other particularly nasty things.
The reason I am angry is that we have now found out in the last 2 weeks that their own relationship (my husband and my friend's wife) has moved on and they are having an affair. Their are times and dates (some when he stays the whole night) that I know my husband's car has been outside her house however if I ask him if he has been out anywhere or seen anyone, the answer is "no I was at my mum's all night". I have witnessed his car being present all night and my friend's daughter has confirmed they sleep in the same room, kiss, cuddle and say they love each other. My husband has changed. I don't know how to explain it but it is a gut feeling. I know there is something going on but I can't prove it.
My friend's wife is saying that she will destroy him at his workplace and is posting nasty things about him on social networking sights yet it would seem that butter would not melt in the mouth in her case. My friend has asked his wife if she has commited adultery and she simply answers that she will only admit to it if she is caught in the act, whilst running him down and questioning his relationship with me to anyone who will stand still long enough to listen.
What is anyone to do about a situation like this. And if a husband has left the marital home and commits adultery is he still entitled to 50% of any profits from the house sale.
I was not in any rush to divorce, but I sure am now. I cannot believe that they can have such double standards. I do not care that he is with her. We have been through so much and I want him to be happy in the future. However I cannot stand the hypocrisy.
I am angry, but do I have any right to be......
I have tried to remain friends with him but keep my distance as early on in the separation he would inform me that he could only be happy if I let him come home and should sacrifice my own happiness for his. Sorry if this is long winded.
However now he has a new friend :rolleyes:. The wife of a male friend of mine who is himself going through a divorce. Myself and this male friend have always been close, and there have been times when he has brought his children over to the house to spend time with mine. We have always been upfront and honest about this to both of our spouses.Recently my husband has refused to speak to the male friend of mine (is this a guilt thing) as they work together and will even look at the floor if they happen to be in the same place at the same time. He appears to be jealous of my relationship with him but will not discuss it with me when I try to raise the subject and just shuts down.
The wife of my male friend has also commented in the past that she has no problem with our friendship (we have been friends for 8 years) however we have found out from other mutual friends that she has been emailing them asking them "what is going on" between us and has been saying lots of other particularly nasty things.
The reason I am angry is that we have now found out in the last 2 weeks that their own relationship (my husband and my friend's wife) has moved on and they are having an affair. Their are times and dates (some when he stays the whole night) that I know my husband's car has been outside her house however if I ask him if he has been out anywhere or seen anyone, the answer is "no I was at my mum's all night". I have witnessed his car being present all night and my friend's daughter has confirmed they sleep in the same room, kiss, cuddle and say they love each other. My husband has changed. I don't know how to explain it but it is a gut feeling. I know there is something going on but I can't prove it.
My friend's wife is saying that she will destroy him at his workplace and is posting nasty things about him on social networking sights yet it would seem that butter would not melt in the mouth in her case. My friend has asked his wife if she has commited adultery and she simply answers that she will only admit to it if she is caught in the act, whilst running him down and questioning his relationship with me to anyone who will stand still long enough to listen.
What is anyone to do about a situation like this. And if a husband has left the marital home and commits adultery is he still entitled to 50% of any profits from the house sale.
I was not in any rush to divorce, but I sure am now. I cannot believe that they can have such double standards. I do not care that he is with her. We have been through so much and I want him to be happy in the future. However I cannot stand the hypocrisy.
I am angry, but do I have any right to be......