Calling Georgie, JWD, jahdog, Dave123, yogamad, Ageing Grace and others...

[RayCub]

Hey guys...I want to know how all my "peeps" are doing?? Haven't been on this site very much lately, and I waned to check in on all of you and see what's new in your lives and how you're coping after your various amounts of time...

Can't wait to hear from all of you!!

Raycub

[Ageing Grace]

Hey there, Ray :D

As you've seen in recent threads, Georgie, JWD & Yoga are all doing pretty damn good - as are you, I hope?

Me, I'm just stumbling along in my own little way: thanks for asking! I've been doing sterling work on the "coming to terms with things" front, and actually feel content for the first time in my life. Which is peculiar, considering how much more I have to be discontented about these days :rolleyes: I guess that proves it really is all about how you feel inside, not what's happening outside!

Not a whisper of romance (or even good ole rumpy-pumpy) in the air for me - at least, no whispers I want to hear :p I seem to remember you'd started seeing somebody? How are things working out for you these days, and your kids?

Thanks for stopping by, Ray :) I miss hearing from you; hope you'll update!

Love,
AG x

[yogamad]

Hi Ray, its good to talk to you again. I didn't realise you'd started seeing someone - how fantastic. How are you are your girls?

I'm doing really well. H and I are getting on as a proper couple for the first time in 20 years, communicating, being there for each other, etc, etc. Nothing's forced, everything just seems really relaxed and great. I can't really believe it.

As AG said, thanks for stopping by, it was great to hear from you again, I miss all our chats.

Take care.
Yoga
x

[georgie]

Hi, well I'm fine, not having nearly as much fun as u r judging by ur Facebook pics but doing good all the same.
Next week is a red letter week for me.. mediation is finally about to happen.. Monday I meet with my solicitor i guess to discuss strategy and bottom line, Friday its the round table showdown about the final % split - if agreement is reached I finally put the house on the market then the day its sold i know how much i've got to buy our new place so i can race around and try to buy something with the same settlement date thats my theory anyway!!
i'm am so dreading it all, but THIS TOO SHALL PASS right?!?! I hope my own solicitor is tough enough to withstand X's manipuatlion and his nasty little ambulance chasing solicitor.
Send me your positive thougts everyone PLEASE!!
He finally admitted the affair did I tell this before?? Only took him 12 months to begin to tell the truth, but he followed it up with several more lies so I dont think he's a reformed character in any sense. I'm happy on my own, dont miss him at all - except when something heavy needs to be lifted ;-) . Having said that I seem to be a married man magnet at the moment, which is really strange and not my thing, apparantly my being single somehow created a neon sign above my head only visible to married men, which blinks "up for it" at regular intervals... have to get that amended to "only unattached may apply" as soon as I figure it out.
My car is about to be sold, i'm not attached to it as it was one of x's folleys so will be kind of glad to see it go, am getting a little mazda 3 to zip around in (I hope! X is involved in that so will he keep to his end of the bargain...)
I started the worlds most brain numbing part time job, but hopefully if I start my Diploma course after xmas it will balance my head space some how, money will be very tight while I'm studying but it's kind of exciting all the same.. dont hold out any hope that my spelling will improve if the nuns couldnt beat it in to me nobody can! I work from 9 to 3.15 3 days a week 10 mins from home so ideal for school pick ups and drop offs.. things seem to have fallen in to place in a manageable way.
I'm going to visualise the girls and I in our new home, happy, where we need to be, and at some point will paint a wonderful new partner in to the picture, but not just yet for me I think.

I've really prattled on. Hope everyone else is doing well.... I'm going to assume u r to attract it to you!
xxx

[RayCub]

Hi guys...it's great hearing from you.

I feel like I've gotten so far behind on eveyone's thread that it would be impossible to catch up! I'm glad you're all doing so well though!!

Things with me are pretty good. I moved recently - AGAIN...third time since July! We're finally settled though, so now it's just a matter of unpacking the rest of the boxes and making the place our own.

Work is still busy. I seem to get a new student every few weeks. All these adults lose their jobs and realize they don't have the education to do anything else, so they come to us. Some desperately want to make a better life for themselves; others are just killing time; and still some are only here in order to receive unemployment benefits...I'm ready for Christmas break already!!

The kids are doing well despite the fact they rarely see their father. I was calculating yesterday and I figured out that within a five week period, he had two-and-a-half-HOURS of contact with them through phone calls and short visits. Sad, huh? Then when he had them for a weekend, he chose to spend most of the time with his girlfriend (he sees her EVERY weekend), shipping the kids off (separately) to his siblings' houses. Since then (12 days) he's spoken with them once on the phone for about 5-10 minutes. As you can all imagine, the girls and I have become extremely close!

They are both doing really well at school and are socializing with their friends as much as possible. They seem to be adjusting as well as can be expected. I wish I knew if I was doing enough for them.

Yes, I've started seeing someone new. He's really wonderful, but I still have trust issues I'm working on and will be working on for a long time to come. It's not that I don't trust him concerning cheating on me, it's that I don't trust he'll stay...which makes perfect sense to me since that was my main fear in my marriage the whole time. Since it eventually came true, I have time believing it won't come true again. He's divorced as well. His wife cheated on him and he has his own trust issues, but he's had six years to deal with them.

He has a 13-year-old daughter whom he dotes on to the extent that she has him wrapped around her finger, and he allows her to make all the decisions concerning what they do and where they go on the weekends. He has her every weekend, and since we live three hours apart, we only have the weekends to see each other. I do most of the travelling, and I'm starting to resent it. They're coming to visit us this weekend, but because his daughter doesn't want to spend two nights with us, they're only coming up on Saturday, which pisses me off. HOWEVER, making him choose between me and his daughter is a fight I can't win, so I won't even go there.

When he and his wife split, he and his daughter became very close and he talks about how she really helped him through the parting. It seems to me that he feels like he owes her because of that, so he won't do anything to disappoint her, which includes saying "no" when he should. It's not that she's a bad kid or anything, she's just a typical teeneage girl who wants all her own way. Added to that is the fact that she's had her dad to herself for six years now and now she's expected to share him with me and my kids which, I'm sure, scares the hell out of her.

Having said all that, he really IS the sweetest guy I've ever met, and I really do like him. I love spending time with him, and he's 100% attentive when we ARE together and on the phone every night for hours. The thing I keep telling myself is that if it's meant to work out, it will. And if not, I gave it my best shot.

I guess the good thing is that we're taking it slowly and we're forced to spend hours on the phone and through emails and 'real' letter writing (!) getting to know each other since we're long-distance. We've been seeing each other for three months now, and aside from the one-sided visiting (and I have to admit here that he lives in a very nice CITY which I LOVE visiting because there's so much to do,s o it isn't a hardship for me), it's been going very well. We seem to have enough in common, we have great conversations, we aren't afraid to share intimate details with each other, we've met each other's families and we like them, we very much respect one another, and the sex rocks :). So, I'm just going to see what happens, and hopefully it'll all turn out the way it should.

We're all getting ready for Christmas; I'm looking forward to it, which I didn't expect. We're picking out a new tree and decorations to bring in new good holiday karma!

Anyway, I'm off to lunch. Hope everyone is well!

Take care and talk soon!
Raycub

[crush]

Hi you guys - glad life seems to be treating you all ok. I have not been on here for a while either so its nice to catch up. I am pretty much the same to be honest, nothing has changed. Ex is still with ow and am waiting on my divorce being finalised. Just got the finances to sort which is a nightmare.

I am on my own still, no man on the horizon. It would be nice as I find it so lonely especially now the winter is here. Of course I have my kids but it is not the same as adult company to talk to in the evening or have someone to share a nice meal with. Maybe some day.......

It seems like a lifetime ago I joined this site but has only been nearly 9 months and so much has happened to all of us in that time. When I think back to this time last year we were a happy loving family looking forward to xmas now I have to admit I am dreading it. The kids are excited of course so for them I have make is special especially as their dad wont be around to see their faces on xmas morning. I have decided to go out for xmas lunch with my parents as I just dont want to be here as last year we had a big family gathering and had a lovely time, just bad memories I guess. Wonder where we will all be next xmas!!!!

[jkk]

Hi

it's been a year since i joined this site - what a year! Such trauma then. What a mixed up mess i was! I am much stronger now, and feeling much more positive about the future.

I am still with my husband, we get on really well. Things have changed - much more love and respect for each other, sex is great too!

The old hurt feelings still spring up from time to time, but we cope we them much better, and we understand them. The bad feelings are much less frequent, don't last as long, and don't we store resentment.

We have sold our house, and brought a chapel to restore in the new year, it's miles away from the old house, so it's a really fresh start.

Wishing you all well,

jkk

[yogamad]

Hi everyone, just been catching up with everyone. It's great to know that we're all doing so well.

Because I'm getting on better with H now and spending more time with him, I don't have as much time to catch up with all the threads (which is a good thing I guess!) but I do miss catching up what's been going on in everyone's lives.

H and I are much more solid than before and as Jkk said, the bad feelings are less frequent and don't last as long. Having said that, we've both had a tough weekend and I'm struggling a bit to stay positive but we are getting there.

Great to catch up with everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend.
xx