wifes answer "i dont know"

[kaeford]

Hi new to this but i am so upset with alison my wife even though it as been a wee k now i still have not been able to accept her answer and appology . the reaso being my grand daughter was taken into hospital last week with a severe infection requireing her to be kept in the hospital. my daughter telephoned my wife to let her know what was going on expecting her to let me know. 4 hours after this i get a telephone call from a relative asking why my grandaughter was in the hospital which i had to answer i did not know. at this point my wife telephonesd to see if i would need a lift from work as my car was out of action from the week before . i asked if there was something she needed to tell me which she replied no so i said wahat about the grand daughter . oh she said i forgot to tell you.

when she got home i asked why she forgot to tell me and she says she does not know and still does not a week later. she as gone out with friends for a drink tonight but said she wont bother when i said should we not sought things out, my answer was why bother we have had all week to sought things out , so dont lay the guilt of me not wanting you to go out.
i could except it if she was flustered or busy but just to say "i dont know". she has tried to carry on as if nothing is wrong which as wound me up even more. am i being childish as i am still upset to the point that i feel like juast telling her to leave if i mean so little . and i think that the reason i was not told was because it never crossed her mind to tell me and does not care enough to give a reason for not lettting me know. is "i dont know" realy an answer should i confront this issue head on? try to ignore it , i am confused as i love my wife but do not feel that it is recipricated, words like sorry and i love you are easy to say but hard to actualy mean can somebody give me some perspective and help to focus.

[huting]

firstly sorry about your grandaughter, hope shes ok now. secondly it was an important thing to forget, ill give u that but u will have to move on from the point of anger at some point as it will not change a thing. she should have told you but she didnt so the only thing you can really do is move past it.

you need to talk to your wife and tell her that you was hurt by her lack of communication on the matter and the fact that she seems not to care, tell her that you would appreciate it in future to let you know as soon as she can if something important occurs. my husband doesnt always tell me things and i find out late or by someone else, his excuse is because its not important enough or he forgot as it means very little. however sometimes what seems little to him is huge to me.

id be upset too if i was in your shoes but to throw your life away and make her leave for a mistake seems a little rash. i think you need to express your feelings on the matter to your wife, calmly not shouting or blaming and then move forward. perhaps work on your communication more as this may be the root of the problem. does she always forget to tell you things? or has her behaviour changed? if so why?

i agree that saying sorry and love you are easy to say, it is in the actions where we truly show these.

[huting]

im sorry if i sounded so 'matter of fact' but what ive learnt from my own experiences and others is that you cant change it, you cant undo it, you can only move forward and bringing it up constantly or throwing it in ones face everytime theres a problem doesnt help and infact makes the situation worse

you have to let it go at some point, yes she was wrong not to tell u , but it has been done now and you cant change it. it would be ashame to leave now, especially whilst you are still quite clearly angry about it and may not be thinking as clearly as if you were not angry.

plus you did say she apologised right? i know we agreed that words can be empty but sometimes its hard to show one that your sorry. you can really feel it but not now how to show it, know what to do etc

dont be too hard on her, everyone makes mistakes, maybe she didnt want to keep thinking about it as she was worried so forgot (could happen)

[Raymond]

A lot of us have particular weaknesses Kaeford. That is just how we are. It doesn't mean we do it on purpose. Likewise your wife maybe. I'd bring it up but not to judge or condemn her as you would be destroying something which you have together. The idea is to build up not to tear down. Love covers a multitude of faults.

Raymond