View Full Version : I don't know what to do
24th April 2002, 06:18 AM
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've sober for 4 years. my wife and i have been married for 20 years and have 4 children. recently, I discovered she was having an online affair with an old high school sweetheart. He is also married. She of course denied it at first then said she doesn't love me anymore. She was going to move out and then decided to stay to try to work things out. I found out that she is still planning on moving out. she is just waiting for the right time. she is saving money while the family doesn't have food in the house. I'm a nurse and make good money but she has me paying all the bills with my check and then saves hers. I don't quite know how much longer I can deal with this. I feel as if I'm being played the fool. any Ideas? thanks
24th April 2002, 07:19 AM
Hello Tusher. You are clearly going through a period of emotional turmoil. 20 years is a long time, and you are naturally hurt by recent events.
This might be a good time to take a step back and look within yourself - decide what is really important for you, and what you really want to achieve.
All relationships go through difficult phases, along with the good times. However, it seems that something is missing here for both of you. Why not consider taking a short break, get away from it all. It doesn't have to be expensive and, hopefully, will provide an opportunity to each communicate your feelings and concerns.
24th April 2002, 03:36 PM
I've offered to try that. I even offered marriage counciling, However she refuses. she Thinks that I'm trying to manipulate her. She goes online and talks to a group (AL-ANON). she says they tell her to dump me. If thats the case why is she staying? Not that anyone can answer that but her, I just don't understand her actions. thanks
25th April 2002, 07:33 AM
You are rightly concerned with responses that your wife is conveying, however, the role of the group you mention is not to give advice or oppose therapy. What is important here, is that she is staying; albiet that she seems to be attempting to entice some sort of reaction from you. So, what is she telling them, but more importantly, what is she truly seeking? To gain an insight, sometimes it is helpful to open your mind and try to percieve the World through another person's eyes.
I have assisted people in similar positions. In case it is helpful, my email is: email@example.com
vBulletin® v3.8.7, Copyright ©2000-2013, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.