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Christine
23rd April 2002, 01:50 PM
I have been married for 8 years now. Lived with my husband 3 years before we married. Just recently he has confessed to having multiple affairs. My biggest problem with this is All these years I have had no idea. I believed we had a great marriage. He has said he is sorry for what he has done, and he has learned that he can now decide not to engage in such activities. Where as before he went with whatever came his way.
I want so much to be able to let go of the hurt but I keep running to try to protect my heart. I have thought about leaving but just can't. He is the love of my life and always will be. For some reason I can not give up on us. I fear it is going to hurt our relationship if I continue this way. I need to know how I can trust him again. Thank you in advance for your replys

Kate
23rd April 2002, 03:45 PM
Dear Christine,

You are very wise to want to work through things, but don't be too hard on your self. Experience shows that it does take time to rebuild trust, and your husband needs to recognise that too and to work with you.

If you haven't already done so, why not take a look at the area of the site on affairs (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/infidelity/), because that will help you to see that much of what you are going through in trying to recover is normal. There is also an article on Learning to trust again (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/infidelity/trust/).

One of the best ways to recover from past hurts is to start positive building for the future, so that when you believe you are both ready you might consider a marriage enrichment weekend (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/healthclub/servprov/).