Should I Be Sleeping With Him?

[Jana Marie]

I guess I already kind of know the answer to that. He's the one who wants to leave but I am single handedly trying to save our marriage. The chemistry between us is and has always been great, so thats never been a problem. If I cut him off, will it make him want me more, or just leave faster??
I can't seem to make a single decision on my own anymore, without agonizing and analyzing it for hours first! :mad:

[georgie]

You can make a decision JM. You've misplaced your confidence, but it's in you - listen to yourself. I've just started to learn to do that, we all know what we need to do deep inside, sometimes we are just not ready to do what needs to be done. It will come to you when you are ready to hear it.

[Raymond]

I would say don't cut him off until he cuts himself off. If he is in to adultery though that would be a different story.

Raymond

[Johnee S]

if your partner isn't on board with you do what is best to protect you. If being intimate with him is the best thing for you then do it, just be aware it'll be harder for you to cope when he is gone, trust me I made that mistake and it's not easy to deal with now that she's gone.

[Ageing Grace]

I slept with the 2nd Mr Grace while were separating, but not with Mr G #1. Not due to any principles; I didn't want to the first time, but did the second!

My experience was that, while I still enjoyed sex with #2, I felt differently about it than when I still believed we were together. It was simply about fulfilling a physical desire: we were using each other, if you like.

I think that, if you expect sex to help rebuild your emotional connection, you'll be disappointed and hurt. Just as when you're dating, if you use sex as a manipulative tool, it will bite you.

[Jana Marie]

I think I'm doing it for both reasons. I like it and I want him to remember how good it is/was between us. But if he can sleep with me while he says he's no longer in love with me, it makes me wonder if he would do it with just about anybody. He is a very fit and good looking guy, even my friends gawk at him, so I know he wouldn't have a problem finding someone to jump in bed with him. But Im no ugly duckling and could find someone too, but I'm not like that. The thought makes me flat ill.
Maybe he is just a sleazy, selfish jerk and I'll be better off without him. Crap, here goes the rollercoaster again.
Thanks so much for listening.

[Raymond]

Until he leaves it's not over. Who knows what the outcome will be. If he does it with someone else while married to you then that is the time to close, is it not.

Raymond

[elif]

If he want's to leave he will. You do know the answer and by sleeping with him you are only hurting yourself more. It's not that you are taking something from him it is about you sorting yourself out. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, I don't mean to be but something has got to give and you may just be giving to much. If he cares for you then there should be no pressure. If he is staying for the buzz then think again unless you can cope with it.:confused: