He wants to live together

[Unregistered]

Please be patient this is a long story. I divorced five years ago. I am 50 years old. I started seeing a man who was separated from his wife. We dated for a bit, but I insisted that before we get serious that his divorce be final. He promised and promised and had many excuses but he finally got a Legal separation. He asked me to marry him and gave me an engagement ring. We moved in together with the promise of marriage once he converted his separation to a legal divorce. We fought constantly about this but he finally finalyzed the divorce. Now he is saying he doesn't want to marry, and feels since we are 50 years old and will not be having children there is no reason to marry. I am old fashioned and feel no matter the age marriage is proper. I am so angry and fed up with him that I am ready to kick him out.
Now he is saying, well if I have to marry you to keep you, I'll marry you. That makes me feel cheap. Should I kick him out? I do love him, and he loves me, but this is too much.

[Kate]

I wonder if you could sit down together and share with each other what marriage means to you. It seems from what you've written that it means different things, but that doesn't mean that your fiance doesn't love you or value you. It is more likely to mean that he views marriage differently. If you can, do your best to listen to him and try and understand where he is coming from, and then tell him why marriage matters to you.

Then you might consider doing some sort of marriage preparation. You can find resources for marriage preparation (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/weddings/marlifeprep/) on the site. Just because you are a bit older and have been married before doesn't mean that such preparation is irrelevant. It is important for you to understand your different views of life and to learn to share them and live with them.