what to do now?

[walker99]

My wifes new home is nearly ready she has taken her time and i have tried every thing in my power to get her to change her mind. Howver, she is planing the move within the next two weeks, and she said she is looking forward to time by herself. She has told me that there are a number of problems, and at the moment it appears that one major problem is that i dont listen to what she wants, which i am sad to say has been the case in the past. I have tried my best to show her how much i love her, but to no avail. It has crossed my mind that she may have had some one else, but she reasured me that there isnt. I have also suggested if she will consider spending some time to try and recapture what we have lost, and she said she will have to think about it, but at the moment she is occupied with the move. I do not know what else to do?

[Kate]

Dear Walker,

There may not be anything you can do right now except to accept what she obviously wants to do and hope that her commitment to you will re-surface when she has some space to think things through. It's going to be really tough, but if you've made it clear you're willing to work on your relationship and that you love her, that's all you can do. It needs both of you to be committed to make it work.

Keep in touch. The forums are checked each day, if you need somewhere to talk.....

[Unregistered]

It seems her mind is made up and she has other things on her mind. I went through something similar and found myself in a mess. sometimes when we are unhappy in marriage we go looking for greener pastures, and find instead mud. I did. How I wish at this juncture that I had stayed in the marriage, as bad as it appeared to be it isn't as bad as being in a bad relationship out of desparation. But she will either find happiness or sadness. One thing I can tell you, take care of you and try and move on. IF she wants to keep in touch and be friends and you can handle it than that might lead to a reconiliation at some point, but always keep in mind she decided to leave and you need to heal too. I wish you both well.

[Unregistered]

sounds a lot like what I have been going through with my husband and still am - we had not been happy for a while - he told me he wanted out and he moved out, a few days later he said he wasn't sure, a few weeks later he was sure again and now we are back to him being unsure - he has been dating someone else and has lived on his own for about 6 weeks - I know its impossible becasue I tried to do what everyone said but really if you can keep calm and focused and limit your anger and arguments - be the man you know you can be and should have been - I believe the doubt will hit her and then you can work at things slowly, would she be willing to do "dates" or any sort of counseling - my husband and I started counseling so that we could have a more amicable divorce and it has really opened our eyes - also keep showing her all the reasons to stay and try - not telling her - showing her - and worked for me most was to PRAY PRAY PRAY

[walker99]

I would like to thank all of you for showing so much support, and i will take all of the advice given and keep it in mind. Many thanks once again.