fracking a, can't win. ahhhhhh!

[jahdog]

just got to vent. been offered great new job at great place. best restaurant period anywhere. more money, human being hours, not all nite hell. big f-ing problem is future ex goes there all the time, some of the students where she works also work there. owner and her office have working relationship. her office take vips and guests there all the time. they cater to her office and boss's parties at his home. would have to see her in all those places, probobly with new man-or old one for all i know. great career op for me but hellish to have to deal with. will have to refuse. sh*t-f*ck, egg suck mule, and any other curses. Damn her for doing this. current job recieved promo to department head a few days before she left. after she left, no sleep, no eat for many days. wrecked emotionally and physically. f#cked up so much at work for those few weeks, could not have any time off, have not had day off in over a month, last day off a few days before she left. f*cked up so much due to situation that was told i was in position that i am not qualified for and soon to be demoted as soon as they find replacement. she is ruining my life and career at same time. Evil wench. maybe i take new job so i can spit in her food. steam rising from ears and curses to this evil thing that i married and was -am so in love with. i think i will start sending here some nasty hate emails or put sugar in her gas tank or use info i have to get her fired. sweet revenge. too bad i can not do any of these things. i can only vent here. ahhhhh:mad:

[Ageing Grace]

I see your problem.

When you've calmed down a bit, how about discussing it with potential new employer? They may have a brilliant plan. If not, they'll know you definitely want the job & will contact you first, next time it comes up.

Umm, but don't ring them while you're in this mood .... :p

[jahdog]

i best not talk to anybody while in this mood. :mad:

[JWD]

I think take the job, maybe she will stop going there after she hears you now work there? Plus you will get over her snd then you will be thinking wish I had taken the job. We can't keep passes thing up in case we meet them. I open my eyes on the bus now when I pass his work :-)

Plus she will stop eating there in case you do spit in her food

[RayCub]

OK - Stop for a second and breathe. C'mon...breathe in, breathe out.....

And don't be doing anything that might get you arrested. That's the LAST thing you need!

So, about the job...take it. It's better money, better hours, better for you all round. The sooner you can make more money and start sleeping like regular people, the sooner you'llget back onyour feet and may be able to get another job somewhere else, meaning AWAY from where you live now. This restaurant obviously has great faith in you and wants YOU!!! ahve some faith in yourself that you deserve this opportunity!!

And as far as seeing her there: Firstly, she might not want to go there so often if she knows you're going to be there. Secondly, it will serve her right to see you doing better for yourself. thirdly, explain the situation to yor future boss, adn I'm sure they'll be able to accommodate you to a certain degree (especially on the catering thing). It really can't hurt to ask them...what've you got to lose at this point??? Seriously??? You're already planning on not taking it, so why not ask if there's anything they can do to help out, if they want you that badly!! Try it!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you still breathing with me?!?!?

Are you still there?? You're not out egging her car or something are you?? :)

[JWD]

Take it take it take it. what better revenge than to show her how successful you are without her. Flirst with all the students too :-0

[RayCub]

And seriously...like JWD said...how can she EVER trust that you didn't do something disgusting to her food?!?!?!?!?!!? ;)

[jahdog]

she would likely come there more just to further torture me. would be great op. freaking awsome restaurant. great reviews in ny times-hard to get. economy sucks-here many restaurants closing and slow but this place is maxed to capacity every night. and very expensive. where do these people get so much damn money.? i am breathing -is calming- however egging car sounds like loads of fun- maybe replace eggs with bricks, or let some eggs rot first for a while. cant explain situation to owner- bad mix of personal and professional life. damn her. owner/chef and her a friends. DA*n, SH*T,H&LL, ASS, F*ck. sorry if offensive but damn her. damn all these heartless wonders that we married, shared our lives, hearts, minds, spirits, and beds with, WTF?

[JWD]

Right, you need to take the job. So what if she is there. She is nothing now. you are all you have so you look after you. She'll come crawling back when she sees how well you are doing.

Imagine she knew you didn't take a job because of her.

Hey, you might meet your future soul mate if you take it.

[JWD]

just make sure any dish she has is extra extra spicy

[JWD]

Why are we so cut up about this. Wonder what we all have in common to make us find it so hard and them find it so easy?

[jahdog]

My evil wife said this was hardest thing she ever had to do- load of crap.

[JWD]

Yeah my evil incarnate said he hated himself for doing this, really, hows running around the pub telling everyone working out for you then? And getting your ego and god knows what else stoked by some child.:mad:

[JWD]

so what do you think you will do? take the job?

[jahdog]

do not know. thinking on it now. would be very hard and awkward to see her and her coworkers and have to be professional and courteous. dealing with being at her boss's house at holiday party would be hellish. owner/chef and her boss are good buddies. wife is good friend of owner and plans dining and events for her office. she would likely have to be making the plans through me for menus and private dining reservations. . i would have to cozy up with her and her collegues. very awkward. this blows. big career booster in toilet because of that evil bit*h. Chef/owner is very accomplished. BIGTIME. no foolin not famous but worked for some famous chefs. we live in small town. would have to see wife and dates and her friends and everybody that she and i know all the time. mostly her people. she works for small college. eletist group in small community. see people and know that they are whispering about me. eletist a-holes. dumb to pass opportunity but not the right time.

[JWD]

Very difficult. but think about your future. It's a great opportunity and she will still have to see you too.

Maybe this is too soon but what if yu were to become friends with her. would that make it easier? maybe tell her about the job and see if she has a tiny amount of compassion left?

No? if it doesn't work out, you can always know that you tried and it will be great on your cv.

[Ageing Grace]

Good point, Jah. It will look great on your resume even if it all proves difficult & you leave after a while - everybody in catering knows what it's like to have relationship conflicts with work!

Take the job! Get it signed, sealed & delivered. Then tell your boss about marriage problem. Then tell wife :D

Good luck!
AG

[jahdog]

yeah this is salt in wound. first little background. wife and i met while she was finishing in college. moved for her to go to grad school. married. moved for me to go to culinary school. place we moved small and rural. got here , she could not find fulfilling job. i found one for her. she was depressed so i searched postings and found her ultimate perfect job. during few years i went to school, worked lots and she prospered at job. big promotion. lots of money and great experience. we had planned on when i finished school to move back south and start family. housing here unbelievable. 200,000 for shi^ box on .1 acre.250,oo0 for ok and liveble. since 911 rich new yorkers flock here. manhattan's back yard. she wanted 3 years experience to move. that time came and went. for me no good opportunities. low pay competitive market not many jobs for me unless i wanted to commute few hours to city.. rural. no fast food, chain stores, big business, development or anything for 100 miles. only rich weekenders and locals. big point of our problems was i wanted to make move home and she began to want to stay which i agreed to. over last several months she seems to have decided that she did not ever want to leave her glamorous, hip job and all the friends she had made. for me low pay and no real opportunity. i agreed to stay and we buy home here and have family. sometimes i would not push but suggest that we seek jobs back home and buy much nicer bigger house there for much less money. also have more because less inflation all around and famliy there. she became resolute to stay. i took ok job but all night work. last summer, same time as she started planning to leave me. she began staying out more and more. out all night. partying hard with new friends. meanwhile i worked all night. we slept in bed together 1 night per week. other than that passed each other, her going to bed, me getting up. few months ago looked at houses and i suggest we move and seek job back home. for her not her cool, hip job but still something fulfilling. for me much more opportunity. she became like a wall. distant. i agreed to stay here though. situation worse and worse until now. she suggested that i move ahead of her. WTF. had she not left and this opportunity presented itself we could have both been here with happy fulfilling work. bought comfortable home and had family. insult to injury is that last spring my father committed suicide. he was in bad health, had many health issues. had all but asked for me/us to come home. he needed me. wife did not want to go. did not ask but she would not have. i felt my place was here with wife and family. did not go. a bunch of crazy crap happened with him and he ended up giveing his deceased wife's son power of attorney over his estate. the will was not honored. the bast$#d got everything. as best i can figure around a mil. my sister and i see none of it. bad deal there. anyway few weeks before she walked i was given promotion and raise. she left. i f-ed up so much lost promotion. scrambled and hard time dealing. no time off. going on 5 weeks no day off. loooong hours. wife left. no sleep, no eat for many days, poor performance at job. she cost me good opportunity there and now cant take great opportunity at other place. this is all too crazy and hard for me to really comprehend.

[JWD]

this has been a horrific past year for you jah. My god, how the hell are you coping with all that.

Well first, are you over what happened with your Father, I know you won't be over his death but I hope you are not blaming yourself. Very unfair what has happened with the estate, do you not have any claim at all?

Do you think your wife feels a bit guilty that she didn't support you going back to see your father?

Well you seem to have had a few bad things happen to you but repeatedly get back up again so that is very positive is it not.

I mean thats 3 good job offers in a row that you have had. You must be good.

My H and I had different ideas about moving etc, I think that pulled us apart a bit. Now that you have opportunity to go for this job, I really think it will do you the world of good and i have a feeling your wife will see you in a new light if you continue working on you and improving your situation and showing that you are a survivor.

Maybe wife didn't know how to support you through the hell you have been through.

You are a survivor, i can tell from your posts.

Take the job, trust me, you won't regret it.

[RayCub]

Oh, jd...I really feel for you and all the crap you've been through this past year...sometimes it doesn't seem fair that one person has to go through so much, while others get away scott-free.

Do you really think it's IMPOSSIBLE to take this new job?? Why would they offer it to you - knowing your wife as they do - if they didn't think you were capable of fealig with the situation. I'm with JWD: you must be really GOOD to get so many offers!! You can come cook for me ANYTIME!!

[Ageing Grace]

Me, too!

Time for you to show what you can do, Jah! Go for it .... :D

Hey. If you earn more money in this new job - and have the chance to get some sleep - will you be able to consult some experts about your family money?

Rotten news about your father. Is your sister OK?

Chin up (that's a British expression ;) )
AG

[RayCub]

It must have made it's way to Canada too, AG...all I hear is "chin up" from my family and friends! :)

[dave123]

Mate take the job!!

The job can last longer than the feelings which you're having now. With a positive mental approach in a few months time you can be through this, brimming with confidence loving your new job and making life awesome!!

A failed relationship is your past, you make your new future, so you might as well make it a bloody good one.

Dave

[Ageing Grace]

Oops, Ray, you must be sick of it!

I thought it suits Jahdog - it always makes me think of the way we stick our chin out when we're angry :p

Just for you, I'll change it to "chin chin!" Freshen your glass, m'dear? Down the hatch!
AG :D :D

[RayCub]

Hahahaha....no, you don't have to change it for little ol' me!

I like the idea of having my glass freshened though!! haha

[jahdog]

no claim to estate. he called me to tell me he was making the guy executor. said he would have made me exec. if i were there. he had some nerve problem and lost feeling in his feet. still drove and hit guy on bike. guy was suing. to not loose all he transferred everything to step son. after death contacted his lawyer and told nothing left in estate. no case. while living he tranferred all wealth, house, stocks, bonds, property to step son. no case to do anything. will meaningless because nothing belonged to him. he had cancer and nerve damage and was unable to even get around. was going into very nice lakeside care facility but killed self night before going. prior to that called me almost everyday asking when we were moving back home. always said hopefully soon. i am mad that i found that damn job for wife that she became so attached to that made her not want to leave. i showed her the post and she said that she had already seen it and not for her. i read it and told her it was her job. she looked and became excited saying yeah that is my job. not her field but totally her. many times for first year or so she had difficulty here and there and wanted to quit. i always encouraged her and supported her. what a joke. a few days before she left she told me she had booked flight to big job related event in europe. seems to correspond to her final decision. by the damn day. WTF. i should have let her keep struggling at that piddly job she had. one of her reasons to leave was that we had grown apart. her job and hip lifestyle had no room for me.i found the damn job for her. anyway over fathers death and gettin screwed on that. hopefully get over wife leaving too. this all just really pisses me off. feels good to get it off chest and rant to you guys. you people rock. out loud and hard. thanks for listening. then the really messed up part is that i only started seeing my wife because i had come out of a bad relationship, ran off to hawaii, bunch of bad stuff happened there, got robbed of all money, had saved lots, also took ss card and driver license, to replace had to go to another island, rent car, totalled car, not my fault but guy that hit us was local so cop wrote up as my fault, did not even look at accident site or cars, ended up getting sued over that, decided to go home, first day home ran into friend, friend then ran into future wife, told wife that then i barely knew that i was back and headed to some store for something, she rushed in, found me and grabbed me from behind, picking me up, then we became friends and rest history. where did i go so wrong as to end up here? Now good career op but added to part of hell that has become my life. whew! anyway i think i have said enough for now. gonna take dog out to enjoy sunshine even though its freakin 30 degrees. thanks guys i really mean it. i hope we all can heal and stop this insanity that we all seem to share. at some point it would be great to all get together to toast ourselves and our new lives be it with or without our tormentors, i mean spouses, i would love to cook a fantastic meal for us. peace.

[JWD]

But look how you keep getting back up. I would be six ft under by now. I really don't thik anything worse can happen to you.

I love how you post, and have thought out exact;y how you got here, I mean funny in a good way, just the way you post makes me laugh wtf.

We will heal, promise promise promise.

What Dave said is so true, the job will last longer that your feeling for her. I think concentrate on the job, and you may get a nice surprise. Rise above her, show her what a fool she is by doing this to you. remember you got her the job, she needed you then I bet she will need you again.

We're going to do this.

I would love to meet up with you all. Will stop painful memories of being in NY with him too.

[JWD]

Tormentors lol, they're like the dementors in harry potter sucking the life and happiness from us:D

[Ageing Grace]

Bloody hell, Jah, you really do live life full & fast, don't you??!

Don't be cross about helping your missus with her career. It looks like you did a really good job, and with love. Give yourself credit for that :) :)

The whole story with your father must be a pig, especially as it happened there was no support available for you when you needed it. Mine died in a road crash of his own making, too. I loathed the evil old git, but didn't want him to die so soon! Family helps, even when it takes a few years to get a conversation going. Everyone needs to take their own time, ourselves included.

You seem like a nice bloke. You also seem like you're tripping on your frustration - maybe so you don't have to stop and think? Whatever :p

Take care. Send your sick pooch my love ;)
AG

[georgie]

Please take the job!!Do not be a victim - heres a chance to be a victor.

[dave123]

Tormentors lol, they're like the dementors in harry potter sucking the life and happiness from us:D

I actually watched that today.... "Expectus petronum!!"

[jahdog]

many thanks for kind words and encouragement.

[jahdog]

"Expectus petronum!!"
yeah harry potter rocks

[JWD]

Imperio Husband - you will love me damn you

[JWD]

cooooooooeeeeeeee

what's occuring? wtf? :D

[jahdog]

focusing on learning some spells:D:eek::)
WTF:cool:

[JWD]

http://www.spellsandmagic.com/spells.html

hahaha, at least we have went down every avenue WTF