Why do men(and women) lie when it's kind of obvious that's what they are doing?

[georgie]

Hi,
Just wondering what the consensus is on this? I had a little string of evidence re: my H having and affair and after weeks he would finally crack and admit to this thing or that thing, never everything. I'm just wondering what the pscyhology behind the lies is, because sometimes it was kind of crazy the stuff he was expecting me to believe - very much head in the sand and nobody can see me kind of stuff.

[Raymond]

I think it's because they get used to lying and kind of believe it themselves. Truth can be initially painful if the deception has gone on too long. They end up in a kind of unreality and it would take quite an inward confrontation with themselves to face the truth again.

Raymond

[JWD]

Guilt, fear, shame, sometimes they are scared to lose you. they just want their cake and eat it. Total nastiness and disregard for others feeling?

Do you think one day they will realise how horrible or just shrug it off as one of those things?

[Ageing Grace]

In many cases, I believe it's as Raymond described ... when you think about it, it's actually insane to believe in a reality you invented - and then expect everybody else to believe it as well! :eek:

More often than we like to imagine, lying is deliberate. Remember that Shaggy song, "It wasn't me"? Very funny song, with a hideous truth behind it: deny, deny, deny ... and keep denying, even while the consequences of your action take place. It frequently messes with other people's heads. But it shouldn't!

We let it mess up our heads, because we're so keen to believe what we want to believe that we'll deny our own senses. In a nutshell, we choose to believe in fiction over the facts before us ... and that makes us as crazy as they are!! :rolleyes:

Shaggy's girlfriend had the right idea. She threw him straight out.

AG

[Sheila]

I agree with Raymond - people get so used to it, their way of dealing with it is to believe it themselves.
I've never understood it myself...to get away with it, you have to be careful enough to conceal EVERYTHING and never get found out.
I think they just get tangled up in it all and are then convinced that what they are saying is true, as there is no way out.

[bouk]

Hey, thanks for the article post.Really thank you! Great.

[rebeccas_3]

As a "new creation" who was delivered from being a liar by my Savior 8 years ago, I will tell you honestly why the old me lied...
I thought the person I was lying to was stupid. It was pride, plain and simple. I believed that the person I was lying to would buy it.
People who have a problem with telling the truth are are prideful, sinful cowards. It is not harsh, it is truth.
Jesus didn't say "the Truth will set you free" for nothing. A lie is bondage. It makes you a slave to a fear (fear of judgement, or persecution, or simply being found-out for the sinner you are).
You enable the liar when you just go-along-with-it. They need to know, that you know, they are lying. You can only heal when you establish where the wound is and address it.