Jackie
8th March 2009, 04:12 PM
Hi, I have posted myself on here about my H's affair with my friend but it is my sister in law who I am asking advice for today.
She has been married for 18 years and around the same time that I found out about my husband's affair, in October 2008, she announced that her and her H were not getting on. She felt as though she didn't love him anymore or fancy him. This was quite painful for me as this is what my H had been saying to me after I found out about the affair.
My SIL says that there is no-one else involved and I believe her. She says he does not make an effort and she is the one who always has to decide things. He is very laid back, maybe too much so. She says she would hate to be without him but cannot see a future with him. They do most things together and have no children. They have always been inseparable, mostly at her request and would not let her H do things without her. Now though she would prefer to do things alone or with anyone else and is happier when they have friends around so that they are not on their own. Her H is lovely but he is very laid back.
She rented a cottage nearby so that she could move out for three months to see how she got on but she was only there for 1 week as she felt so isolated. Now she thinks that if she were to go abroad for a month this might help. I have said that she still has to face it when she comes back and maybe counselling with her H would be the way forward. She does want it to work but if the spark isn't there anymore can she get it back. I don't know what else to suggest apart from counselling. Any ideas please.
She has been married for 18 years and around the same time that I found out about my husband's affair, in October 2008, she announced that her and her H were not getting on. She felt as though she didn't love him anymore or fancy him. This was quite painful for me as this is what my H had been saying to me after I found out about the affair.
My SIL says that there is no-one else involved and I believe her. She says he does not make an effort and she is the one who always has to decide things. He is very laid back, maybe too much so. She says she would hate to be without him but cannot see a future with him. They do most things together and have no children. They have always been inseparable, mostly at her request and would not let her H do things without her. Now though she would prefer to do things alone or with anyone else and is happier when they have friends around so that they are not on their own. Her H is lovely but he is very laid back.
She rented a cottage nearby so that she could move out for three months to see how she got on but she was only there for 1 week as she felt so isolated. Now she thinks that if she were to go abroad for a month this might help. I have said that she still has to face it when she comes back and maybe counselling with her H would be the way forward. She does want it to work but if the spark isn't there anymore can she get it back. I don't know what else to suggest apart from counselling. Any ideas please.