back again

[Radka-Roo]

Hello again,

few months ago I pested a note here about my husband leaving me and me not being able to cope with it. Some time has past since then and as much as its not as painful anymore it still there.

For the last 3 years or so I havent stoped working to be able to provide for my 15 year old son.

My son is a great young man but his puberty and mostly himself has created quite a few problems in his life. Everytime he has a problem or if he gets depressed he start with - I want to live with my dad.

Lately it got so bad I had to say to him to go if thats what he wants....

Now he is moving back to England in 3 weeks and again Im finding myself full of sadness.

Im actually scared of myself. I feel that I have gave everything to two man in my life only to end up alone. I dont know what to do with myself. Im scared. I just cant imagine life without having to look after someone, Im scared of not being able to talk to my son everyday. I feel angry at his dad for taking everything I loved away from me.

Has anybody went through the same so I could learn form it???

Thank you

[JWD]

I'm sorry, I haven't been through this. Could it be at 15 your son just wanted to escape, live a little kind of thing. I don't have children so have no idea how you must feel. Maybe he thinks when he goes to his dad's that he'll have some sort of excitment and independence . I bet when he gets there he'll have the same sort of attitude with your husband. Is he stressed about school at all?

I hope you feel better soon. You musn't blame yourself, he loves you and I'm sure he will soon miss you.

Try go along with it and don't make him feel like he can't leave you because you'll fall apart. Make sure he know he can call you up any time and come back when he decides

[Raymond]

There is a stage when teenagers strive to be independent. If you try and hang on to them you could lose them. Funny enough when you let them go and encourage them you end up keeping them. I see my oldest, now married, more now than when he was here. The youngest one who I paid the fare to Australia for to do an outdoor course knows that we are not trying to hang on to him and have cut the apron strings. He often comes home from University to spend time with us at home whenever he gets a chance.

I think if you just try and do whats best for him he will know this deep down and you will never lose him. Talk it out what is best for him and make the decision. If he still wants to go let him go with your blessing.

Raymond