Husband no longer wants sex

[frustrated]

I have been married 23 years. Over the past few years my husband's libido has been gradually decreasing. Now, it is virtually non-existant. We are fairly young (early 40's) and I'm frustrated by his lack of interest. If I attempt to initiate sex he says he's tired. When I go to bed he'll stay up so he doesn't have to be confronted with my initiating sex. He's a good man and I do not believe he is having an affair and he's not gay. I've suggested he see a doctor to discuss things but this doesn't seem to be something he's interested in. I would really like some input and advise on what to do. Thanks.

[Raymond]

There is probably a reason for this frustrated either healthwise or overwork or, please don't be insulted here, internet activities, possibly porn? If he's tired he should be in bed not staying up late. If it is really tiredness you could have a session much earlier so that he gets his sleep as well.

You obviously have to find the answer together. Someone on here recommended brazil nuts for those who have lost their libido. Only two a day. I don't know if there is any truth in that.

If it is a health thing I would recommend him getting enough rest but excersise as well. When we are on holiday walking we do it everyday as the normal thing. This is not the case when I am working hard, so rest and excersise do help.

I really hope you find the answers here as that kind of intimacy is important.

Raymond

[nw_guy]

Frustrated: My very pretty wife has gone off sex completely as she says she just doesn't have the urge anymore.

Maybe we can help each other out? ;)

[JWD]

Cheeky new guy :-)

What about a bath together, no pressure of sex?

[nw_guy]

JWD: I could do with a bath! :-)

Check your PM!

[Hilary]

If there is no other reason for lack of interest, like cyber porn, or an affair there are two other possibilities.

The first is that the attraction between you has gone - you have stopped being a couple. This needs one sort of intervention, that others can help you with.

The second could be that medically his libido has gone. My husband used to be very interested in sex - far too much for me, but then it just stopped. After a couple of years I discovered that if I fed him a handful of nuts a day (including Brazil nuts) his libido fired up again. It was a nutritional deficiency in part. His testosterone level had dropped. This was also related to an underactive thyroid - all of the hormones are related. So I make sure that he has a little high quality protein at every meal, limit grains, especially bread and pasta, and limit brassica foods - cabbage, cauli, broccoli (because they all interfere with the thyroid, which affects the testosterone) and add Brazil nuts every day. His sex drive has improved (but not up to his previous level, thank goodness - twice a day was too much for me, twice a week is more like my level of interest).

Just a minor warning though - when his testosterone levels increased the first thing I noticed before the sex kicked in was that he got very aggressive, both at home and at work. He got really ratty at incompetence. It took about a week of this before he got used to handling that level of testosterone again, and he was quite pleased to feel sexy again.