Prayer request - job for husband

[Brotan]

Hi, please could you pray that my husband gets a job.

It is really more complicated than this, but I feel this is where we need to start. My husband and I have been separated for six months after he resigned his job (his own choice) eight months ago and did nothing about getting another one. I could not support the family financially and things in our marriage which had already been strained reached a point where, when he left to stay with his family after a fight, I left to stay with my family far away and got a job in the new town.

Since I left he has tried to get a new job, but so far nothing. I want to get back together with him, but things have got complicated - we have had to rent our house and so he is living with his family and I am with mine. I am the only one working and supporting our daughter who he has only seen 3 times in the last six months. I really feel we cannot do much about our marriage til we can at least live in the same town and we cannot do that without him having a job. Please could you pray that he finds a good job for his own sake as well as that of his family.

[Raymond]

My wife and I will pray Brotan but feel it's important that your husband should be involved as well in that he prays as best as he can. That will be more effective.

Raymond

[Brotan]

Thanks, I agree with you, but am not sure if he is praying or not. I have mentioned that I am praying about it to him, so he does know. What he decides to do about it is up to him - I hope he will.

[Raymond]

God responds to faith Brotan. If you have given your life to Christ you will be in relationship with him and can look to him for your needs. The answers do not always come in the ways that you imagine but your needs will definitely be met if you know him.

Raymond

[hotcoffee]

"Prayer without ceasing" It really works

We will pray for you.

God bless =)

[Brotan]

Thanks for the advice - I started 31 days of praying for your husband late December 2008 and by February had got through it (I wasn't too good about the every day thing) Recently I started it again and I am amazed at how much has been answered already. Still praying however that he does get a job. We are in Christian marriage counselling now - still separated but we are planning to be back together soon. Please continue to pray that he gets a job as to be honest getting back with him would be one enormous leap of faith and he really needs that job.

[Raymond]

God doesn't withold anything that we need Brotan but sometimes one has to get through on it. I find it's a lot to do with relationship. Sometimes God allows things to bring us into a better place with Him. He is not a vending machine. The work He is doing in us is more important but He does want us well and prospering.

I know what you mean about keeping up things every day. It can get a bit legalistic although we may need a program to get going sometime. Ultimately prayer will be a part of breathing for us.

I will pray for your situation and for a job for your husband but sometimes I feel something else is going on there.

Raymond

[Brotan]

"God doesn't withold anything that we need "
Thanks I needed to hear that. Yes I am sure there are many other solutions than my husband getting a job - it just seems the most obvious one to pray for.
"He does want us well and prospering."

"but sometimes I feel something else is going on there."

I am not sure what you mean by this. I have a feeling plenty of things are going on here, but I have to also worry about the safety of my daughter and myself as well as our marriage and it hard to hand it all over especially when it seems God is asking me to do "crazy" things. (I suppose that Abraham taking Isaac to sacrifice was pretty "crazy" - some more examples of this in the Bible might help me too. Or if you know of anything where it says God will never ask you to do something that is stupid... although that could be read both ways in this situation - sorry can't go into details right now.

I am having a hard time knowing what is the right thing to do. It would be a lot easier if he did have that job now or in the very near future.

[Raymond]

When I said that sometimes I feel that something else is going on here, it was something in my memory somewhere from before when you wrote. I am wondering whether there is full co-operation from him on this and is he looking to God also? If there is not you could be in danger of trying to manipulating him. God is well able to provide your need in some other way.

God is the source whether He does it through your husband or not. He has promised to meet your need. The verse that comes to my mind is "My God will supply all your need acording to His riches in glory in christ Jesus" There are many many others.

I don't know what you think God is asking you to do but if you know it is definitely God do it. We are always blessed through obedience. But also try the spirits whether they are of God. You don't want any other spirits coming in here or even your own flesh.

God never asks you to do anything stupid although it may seem stupid in our own eyes. The thing is to know that it is God then everything else works out right. The main way God speaks is through His word and by His Spirit.

All word and you dry up. All spirit and you blow up. But with the word and the Spirit you grow up. There is a balance here.

Raymond

[Brotan]

My husband has agreed to marriage counselling for which he has committed to do a lot of things including reading the Bible, praying and going to church, which I imagine he has not been doing a lot of lately. I believe he takes seriously the committments he makes, so I am trusting he is doing what he agreed to (just as he has to trust that I am keeping my end of it) I cannot know what God plans for my husband are, but I am trying to lean on the fact that when two people get married they become one with different roles sure. I have to trust that God is leading him to fulfill his roles in our marriage.

I am going to return to my husband in three weeks time. In doing so I will lose the job I have here and my husband still does not have a job. We do have a place to stay. I will also lose all the support I have built up here and have no support in the new place until I manage to find some. This is the decision to make that seems totally crazy - I cannot imagine anyone thinking that this is a wise decision - we still have our daughter to look after too. The only reason I have decided to return is based on scripture: that God honours marriages (two become one) and that God will supply all our needs.

Nonetheless I do have doubts about this and a great desire to protect myself and my daughter incase it doesn't work out. At the same time how do I do something in faith if I leave a back door open?

I cannot imagine that there is another spirit at work here. It feels correct according to scripture, just unwise according to how things are in the world.

[Raymond]

I get more of the picture now Brotan and it sounds to me like you are doing the right thing. The safest place to be is in following Christ as he never lets us down. I believe God will honour your step of faith. He can open new doors as you look to Him. Of course the enemy may shout in your ear that you are totally crazy or even just your own reason. There are times though when Gods ways cross with our reason and we get anxious but if you are hearing from God everything will work out. He never lets us down.

God is very interested in marriages as it is his idea. He hates divorce. He sees you as married (one flesh) and will work in your marriage. I really hope this will be a new chapter for you. the best way to help your daughter is to seek God for yourself. This will rub off on her in the long run as it has done in my children. All the other things will be added without us being too worried about them.

Raymond

[Brotan]

Please could you keep us in your prayers. We are nearly halfway through the counselling now and it is a very up and down experience. Very soon we will be together again and some days I am as scared as can be and other days more positive.

My husband still does not have a job and finances are going to be a big concern. Perhaps in some ways it will be positive as it will give us time together to fix our relationship while we are both without a job.

[JWD]

I will be praying for you both brotan. You pray for me too please, I've said lots of horrible things recently :-(

Stay positive and concentrate on taking any good at all from the situation i.e. spending time together whilst he looks for a job. I truly believe I'm going to get through this and you will too.

Thinking of you

[Raymond]

Will be praying Brotan. It is good that your husband is going through the counseling. I think you said it was christian counseling so submitting to that will prove beneficial I think.

It's like a new start in a way without any props it seems, but I am expecting positive things to happen. It will be along road but I believe God will show you keys for your situation.

Raymond

[Brotan]

Can I now ask that you pray for me. I am finding letting go of the place I have been in for 7 months really hard. There is a tremendous amount of work to do to sort out a whole house and pack up (how do you take a whole house in 2 suitcases), emotionally its been very stressful to say goodbye to everyone here. I know on the other side it will not be easy emotionally either - 7 months is a long time and it will feel like being with a stranger - besides which we both feel awkward about things and physical touch will also be awkward (even hugs let alone anything else)

I am feeling scared and lonely and while I know God is here and won't leave me I am feeling a bit intimidated by all these stresses.

[Raymond]

We are praying Brotan. Has He not said I am an ever present help in time of need. You are doing a tremendous thing even heroic I would say. The trick is to go and not look back. If God is in it which He seems to be then He has a plan for you and there is no better place to be than in His plan. Remember that as well as been a married person you are also an individual person in christ and He has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Therefore you can be sure of His help and presence every single day.

Raymond

[jahdog]

God has a lot on his plate.

[Raymond]

Hes big enough for it. Don't worry about it.

Raymond

[jahdog]

yes He is. big job.

[Brotan]

He's done bigger before - hey He created the universe after all. Luckily for us I don't think God gets bogged down with what we ask Him.

Its pretty amazing that after creating the universe He decided that one little person was worthy of His attention. I know He's up for the challenge, just hope we are too.

[Raymond]

A lot of truth there. We do our bit and He will do His bit. Passivity is not an option but neither is relying on our own strength without Him.

Raymond

[Brotan]

I am now taking a holiday with my sister and my husband and I will be back together on 8 April. Please could you continue to hold us in your prayers as we start to discuss the more sensitive issues in our marriage and make decisions as to where to go now.

We are in a rather precarious financial position right now too with neither of us having a job right now and with a little girl to look after this has us both stressed. Please pray that we will lean on God to supply our needs as far as jobs, finances, communication and so on go and that we will continue to trust him no matter how hard it gets.

[Raymond]

We shall be praying especially about the sensitive issues. Timing is important in these things. Use the opportunities when they come as they will.

To quote "Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication (requests for help) with thansgiving let your requests be made know to God: and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" Phil 4:6/7

Raymond

[Brotan]

Just wanted to say thank you for the prayers so far. When we first began to think about getting back together I was so nervous and anxious that I spent days feeling nauseous and sick from anxiety. In two days we will start our new life together and while I am still concerned about many things mostly it is how I will cope at being the best person I can be. I no longer feel so anxious and in some ways am looking forward to the challenge.

Thanks for the verse - I am trying hard to remember it everyday. Our counselling will be winding down soon and there is still a lot to cover. Please could you continue to hold us in your prayers - my sister commented the other day that she knows someone has been praying for us considering how far things have come now so it is showing - thanks again.

[Raymond]

He never fails Brotan and is faithful. We may fail and be faithless but He remains faithful. He will not let you down as you put your trust in Him.

I trust God will bless you in your marriage as that is His will, but you have your own seperate walk with Him as well whatever anyone else does. I know you will purpose to do your part well as that is all you can do. Remember you felt God lead you back in to this so He surely has a plan for you in it.

Raymond

[Brotan]

Six days back together now. Please continue to pray for us - things are coming up that are hurting a lot and they are not things I want to discuss on here as I do not think it will help our marriage.

Please could you pray that as we head into conflict we will know how to react in love and with respect to each other.

[Raymond]

We will pray Brotan but I have to ask why are you are heading into conflict? That is what you want to keep away from surely? It is another thing to sort things out but that needn't be conflict. Obviously there are things from the past to be sorted out but you need to avoid conflict if possible as that can be destructive. It comes to mind that each has to say their piece and the other listen. Conflict is where you are both shouting at each other and no one listening. We had a cushion idea. When one has the cushion they do the talking and the other listens. Then they pass the cushion over and they listen.

We will pray that you find the right road.

Raymond

[Brotan]

Maybe then it is not conflict - I use the word conflict to describe a difference in opinion and also when we have difficult things that need discussing. To avoid conflict I have not been bringing up these issues but they still need to be discussed if we are going to move forward so that is probably what I mean

[Raymond]

I see what you mean. It is difficult when you both have different opinions on some things but that is normal. All you can do is voice your opinion and leave it to him. As a man he will be listening to your opinion and getting input to help him make decisions.

If there are hurts from the past that are still hurting I hope you will both be able to resolve these so that you can move forward. You have to move according to his strength I would say, so you may need patience to do a little at a time depending on his response. It will be very healthy if apologies and forgiveness is forthcoming so that you can move forward as one.

God will be helping you by His spirit as you both look to him. He is very concerned about marriages and oneness and you need to obey His promptings when He shows you.

I will be praying that you both walk forward on the road He has for you in your marriage. I know you can do it if you both work on it. Marriage can be wonderful Brotan. It really can.

Raymond

[Brotan]

We have been back together now a little over a month and the last week has been exceptionally difficult. I know I am getting depressed (proper depression not just feeling down) - it is not my husbands fault but he seems to think it is and feels like he cannot do anything to help me - he says it is soul destroying when he cannot make me happy. I do not know why I am depressed - I could blame any number of things, but truth is, its probably just hormonal.

It is affecting our marriage terribly. Please could you pray that God will help us - help me to get the help I need, help my husband to realise its not his fault and help me to be in better control of my emotions so that I do not keep hurting him. Please also pray that God will help us to forgive each other and ourselves for the things we have done in the last week that have weakened our marriage.

Thanks.

[Raymond]

We will pray Brotan. When you say hormonal I assume you mean the time of the month? My wife used to get that until she had prayer for it. Although it is natural it needn't affect you as bad as it does. We will pray anyway whatever it is.

Raymond

[Brotan]

No this isn't natural... please keep praying. It is very very difficult right now. It is also becoming harder and harder to trust God or even feel that he is around despite knowing he is.

[Raymond]

He is there Brotan. He always is. Sometimes we are under other things. We have an enemy as you know who likes to deceive so we have to make sure we are meditating on the things that are right and good.

My wife mentioned that He has given us a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. A verse in the psalms somewhere. You can use praise as a weapon in that sense.

When I first became a christian I had a kind of depression which was coming back from my old life. I had prayer in a kind of healing meeting and have never had it since so it must have been a spirit to just go like that. Other times its just battling through and learning to use the word of God. Whatever you do don't receive it as God's will because it isn't. I pray you find your answer.

Raymond

[Raymond]

ps You might find it helpful listening to Joyce Meyer. She does podcasts online. You can listen and watch them. You might find it uplifting. Some women do. The site is www.joycemeyer.com (http://www.joycemeyer.com)

Raymond

[Brotan]

Thanks, seem to be calmer now and I am feeling slightly better but I am still concerned. I've never tried using praise as a weapon against misery.

[Raymond]

Glad you are feeling a bit better Brotan.

I feel you need to learn to praise God in other situations as well as at church Brotan. God has given you a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness and you need to use it when you are down and at other times. Through Christs death we are given beauty in exchange for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. (see Isaiah 61:3 where the prophet is speaking prophetically of christ).

You are in a spiritual battle. Praise and thanksgiving at appropriate times will help you in this. You may not feel like it if you are down but it will put things in the right perspective and give God opportunity to lift you. Your enemy will hate it of course, but we serve God not him.

Raymond

[Brotan]

Have been thinking a lot about praise these last few days and while I still struggle amidst all my constant requests of God, I definitely want to keep trying - God does deserve our praise all the time anyway.

This week has been much better and I have found a few things to help when times become hard again - please could you pray that I will be able to use these techniques successfully as they are not easy, but hopefully the results will be worth it.

[Raymond]

Praise is a mysterious thing Brotan, as is prayer, but when we do it our relationship with God is more balanced I find. Praise confuses our enemy and is a sign of strength. Read the psalms to see this. Instead of going into a pit, praise exalts God and has the effect of lifting us out as well, if done sincerely of course. I'm not talking about magic formulas here but a right relationship with God.

Glad that you have found a few techniques to help. Will pray that you can utilise these to the full.

God bless

Raymond

God inhabits the praises of his people.