Divorce

[nik1h]

Hi all, especially those who know me.

Im sad to say that my divorce nisi will be pronounced on 9th Feb. I tried for 18 months to salvage the marriage but not to be.

In the end Im divorcing her to get a good settlement and keep it amicable. I've bit my lip despite my hate for her now, and through this have now got shared residancy of son.

I have used a online divorce company and it works out considerably cheaper so for those who may go through the same thing, bear it in mind.

I hope if God exists, her retribution will come.

Nick

[dave123]

Hi,

Sorry not familiar with your back story but you sound like you have had a hard time of it. Hopefully now things are progressing you will be able to leave the anger behind and move on with your new life.

Enjoy bringing up your Son, i bet you will be a great Dad for him. I am so much more involved with my son now i am separated.

Good luck,

Dave

[Raymond]

Looks like you had a hard time Nik1h.

Try not to get bitter as that would affect you more than her. If you can forgive her and let it go you will be free and will be able to put it behind you. I believe in God and His word says "Vengeance is mine I will repay" it also says avenge not yourselves. You can leave it in his hands and not get involved in bitterness or wanting her downfall. Jesus went so far as to say love your enemies, but that might be a bridge too far for you just now.

She might see her wrong one day and ask for your forgiveness. Who knows? We all have things we need forgiveness for when our eyes are opened to see it. So I would really try and lay it down for your healths sake.

Raymond

[ken94]

Really nice words of wisdom Raymond. And it is very insipring too !

Ken

[ken94]

Forgot to say : Courage Nick !!!

[nik1h]

Looks like you had a hard time Nik1h.

If you can forgive her and let it go you will be free

Raymond

Can you forgive evil?!

[dave123]

Hi,

I think we can forgive anything as long as we want too. Your ex doesn't need to be sorry for you to forgive.

Not forgiving her will keep you held back and attached to an unhealthy part of your life which is now over.

Let go, be happy, make your new life brilliant.

Good luck,

Dave

[Raymond]

Let it go is the key word Nik1h. Nobody is all evil. This is the woman you married. It seems like she has done wrong and evil things but are you going to spend the rest of your life in bitterness against her and hoping to get revenge? Will you rejoice in her downfall? Just forgive and move on for your own sake Nik1h and for your future. These things can grow out of all proportion so forgive and put it behind you now before you begin to nurture these things and get consumed yourself.

Raymond

[Hilary]

Hi Nik1h
You can always forgive evil. I had some bad stuff happen in my past - pure evil and there was no way they were ever going to be sorry for what they did. You can either let that poison continue to poison you forever or you can let it go. I decided to let it go. It was hard work because the damage that was done was horrendous and affected every aspect of my life from my childhood onwards.

But there comes a time for choice and as soon as I understood that I decided I had to learn to let it go. That comes from focusing on what I could do minute by minute, day by day to improve my life. From the time I got up in the morning and all the way through each day. I did this within the Christian tradition, practising the presence of God, and that worked for me. But I recognise that others might need a different approach. If the god stuff doesn't work for you practice being in the moment - and "They" need not be in the present moment. If you focus on your task at hand rather than your feelings towards them then your focus becomes your task for now and your longer term goals.

Improves how you feel no end! Go for improved quality of life. Let go of the hate, put it behind you or rub it out of your life. You deserve better than to be coloured by the negativity of the bad bits of your relationships.

[1aokgal]

They say the best revenge on another who has wounded you, is to succeed beautifully. Can you imagine how satisfied you feel when X. learns you did some really good thing as started your own company or lost 50 lbs. or gotten a plush job.

I felt really good and smug when I ran into an old friend several years after she abrupty ended our 6.5 years friendship over a trivial issue. I went somewhere without her and she told me if I did that she would not speak with me again. I thought she was fooling and spent a pleasant day on a ticket I bought. She had never used hers and mine was ready to expire. So I went to the show and enjoyed it alone. I call that a bully. She never spoke to me again.

We knew the same people so occasionally we hear about the other. When I ran into her again I had lost weight and looked to be in great shape. She was heavier and miserable about it. I spoke to her and moved on. No, I have no wish to rekindle a friendship with such a controlling person. It did me good to know it bothered her to see me looking and doing so well. It is true, I am less apt to seek out another friendship because of the experience. I am impatient with fake people. I have no problem going places alone.