My wife just left

[blank]

My wife of 2 years just walked out on me. I don't no how to keep her and I don't think she will stay but I love her to bits.

I'm scared of my future, and no longer no who to speak to.

[dave123]

Sorry fella. It's a bad place to be, i know how you feel because i'm in the same situation.

Post some more if you want some advice or help. At the very least know that you are far from alone, many people have been where you are, now and in the past, sharing will help.

Chin up,

Dave 123

[blank]

Everything was fine up to six months ago. Where she told me that she'd kissed a male friend, good friend over a year ago. She tells me thats all that happen. I have suspicions that thats not true. I dont think I want to know if anymore happened.

I know that I love her and have tried really hard to prove this over the last 6 months. But in this time shes changed and as time goes on has been pushing me further and further away.

Last night I asked if she was leaving me. She said she didn't know and it wasn't the same any more. I said you've only been pushing me away since you told me what happened before that everything was fine. Then she said she still speaks to this guy occasionally, when this all broke out I asked her never to speak with him again and she agreed. With this she got up and said I'm going to my mum's I feel suffocated.

I feel that she has betrayed my trust twice, am I wrong? Is it also still wrong that I want everything back to normal and work it through, or should I resign myself to the fact thats it over?

Before she walked out the door I asked her to promise that she will do marriage conciliing before she makes up her mind. She agreed.

I hardly sleep all night and can't face work tomorrow. I live miles away from friends and family and she has took our only car.

[Raymond]

You're not wrong to want to keep your marriage and work through. There is some hanky panky going on but we do not know the depth of this from our vantage point. She has said she is willing to go to counseling so there is hope.

Sounds like this fellow is getting through to her, probably by flattery, and affecting your marriage.

It isn't right what she is doing. I may be wrong but it sounds as if you are both young and she hasn't yet understood what marriage is. By this I mean faithfulness and commitment. It won't work if she is opening herself up to other men. The best we can say is that this chap represents an old relationship perhaps and has stirred up an old flame?

I think you ought to be brave and call her bluff. At the moment you are a safe bet and she doesn't feel that she is risking much. I'd make a fight of it tell her to get in order or leave. Not that you want her to leave but I think you need to show a strong front and make her think.

Raymond

[Raymond]

Sorry blank can I rephrase that. I realise she has already left. If that is the case where does the counseling come in? Anyway I don't think you can chase her. If she has any character she will make contact and sort things out. You have an excuse to chase her to get the car back I suppose and when you find her a lot of things may become plainer.

The whole thing is rather sudden. Were there not any warning signs?

Raymond

[blank]

She's left saying that she wants time to think things through. She's is coming home tomorrow for one night to stay and pick up some things then going again for a week she says. The time line is due to her parents being away so she has there house for her own space.

I'm not going to chase her, I think the ball is totally in her court now. I know her really well I think her reaction is of guilt and running away from the problem rather than facing up to it. I couldn't unlock this in her head, this is why I'm hoping that counselling what ever the out come is at least going to give us a chance proper chance to understand and get through this.

There was no warning signs of getting to this stage, but for the last 6 months things haven't been right.

Thank you for your comments raymond.

[dave123]

Hello again,

My wife came to a counseling session with me and it stirred her up so much she closed off completely and refused to go back. She had made up her mind that it was over and strung me along with the "space and time" idea. I hope you guys still have enough left between you to build up on, but in my opinion she would need to accept her issues and apologise for walking out.

The future can sprawl out in front of you and look pretty empty, that's how i feel right now, but taking it a day at a time and trying to see the positives will help.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst is what got me through the first few weeks, maybe the break will do you both good?

Best of luck,

Dave

[Raymond]

Part of hoping for the best bit is the hope that the previous problems can be sorted out during counseling, but if she has set her heart on leaving even counseling will not help. I hope that is not the case.

Raymond