Chloe 7
6th November 2008, 06:12 PM
Hello everyone,
I'm looking for some advice. Briefly I'm separated, divorce is taking a lot longer than expected. I'd been married for 12 years when my husband had an affair, returned to me and our children but continued to see the o/w. I've moved on a lot since then and happily live on my own with my kids. Since then I've met and fallen in love with a wonderful man. He's everything my husband wasn't in the way that he is loving, kind and respectful.
However, when I first met him he told me about a previous relationship (his longest) of his and how heartbroken he'd been when it had ended. He still met up with his ex as they remained friends. Our mutual friends were all very aware of how much it had hurt him and how in love he'd been with his ex. A while ago I worried, due to all of this, that he may still have feelings for her so I confronted him and he very patiently explained that that wasnt' the case. He was very reassuring and has at least always been open with meeting her. Although he has stopped talking about her since I said what I said to him. He's also said (before my confrontation)that he would love for me to meet her. Something that fills me with dread. I don't want to. I don't want to meet someone he was intimate with and loved. I already meet the mutual friends that they have had ans still do which I do but find difficult, although no one ever rubs my face in it.
My problem is that I feel very insecure, horribly jealous and resentful of their relationship. I know this is unreasonable and my only excuse is that my previous experience left me feeling paranoid and not without such baggage.
Does anyone have any advice on how to not let the green eyed monster eat me up?
I'm looking for some advice. Briefly I'm separated, divorce is taking a lot longer than expected. I'd been married for 12 years when my husband had an affair, returned to me and our children but continued to see the o/w. I've moved on a lot since then and happily live on my own with my kids. Since then I've met and fallen in love with a wonderful man. He's everything my husband wasn't in the way that he is loving, kind and respectful.
However, when I first met him he told me about a previous relationship (his longest) of his and how heartbroken he'd been when it had ended. He still met up with his ex as they remained friends. Our mutual friends were all very aware of how much it had hurt him and how in love he'd been with his ex. A while ago I worried, due to all of this, that he may still have feelings for her so I confronted him and he very patiently explained that that wasnt' the case. He was very reassuring and has at least always been open with meeting her. Although he has stopped talking about her since I said what I said to him. He's also said (before my confrontation)that he would love for me to meet her. Something that fills me with dread. I don't want to. I don't want to meet someone he was intimate with and loved. I already meet the mutual friends that they have had ans still do which I do but find difficult, although no one ever rubs my face in it.
My problem is that I feel very insecure, horribly jealous and resentful of their relationship. I know this is unreasonable and my only excuse is that my previous experience left me feeling paranoid and not without such baggage.
Does anyone have any advice on how to not let the green eyed monster eat me up?