Fiance says I have to initiate sex

[fooled once]

I'm the average looking guy, with the chubby girlfriend....when we met, she was all over me, groping in public, wanting to get down right there in the car, the pool, the walmart restroom....Anywhere, no talk, just BANG BANG....it was a bit much, honestly a turn off, she finally took the hint and backed off.....she told me when we talked that was how she did things, she wanted sex she went out and got it, didn't have to know the person, "hey you wanna &$*&" and the clothes came off....took me a while to get over that but i did....I was always shy, i don't have a sex drive, i have a "fantasy" drive,....hahaha, i see womem all the time, that are fine, often times much hotter than my wife, that sure I'd love to....but really I know if I were single, odds are not likely that I'd even approach them...so i continue with what I got....Now don't get me wrong, most of the time, we're great and when we're into it, the sex is great....but often times I wonder the following.....why i need to initiate sex? did i make a mistake by chosing who chose me?....maybe i'm just going thru midlife crisis, hahahah just turned 35, ....maybe I need a more exciting lifemate....i don't know, hmmmm....maybe it's me...maybe I'm just not ready to be in a serious relationship after my last marriage in my ex cheating with my best friend....so many maybes...

[Bambar]

Fooled Once

How is it that in some of your posts you have a lovely wife & in others you have a "chubby girlfriend"? Are you just experimenting with trying on different personalities for different threads on the forum or do you change your views so often that you cannot distinguish fact from fiction?

You write about having to restrain your partner from showing too much enthusiasm, then complain when she does what you want & waits for you to initiate things. You watch porn rather than concentrating on the actual relationship you are fortunate enough to have. Your partner seems to show more patience & tolerance with you than your behaviour merits. Don't abuse her good nature or you may find yourself with only your fantasies for company.

[Raymond]

I know of a lot of situations where the female was say promiscuous but dipped after they were married. I don't know if there is a connection. Just a thought.

As a husband I always initiate sex because that is how it is. Sometimes I wish she would but she doesn't. One accepts their wife as they are. She does enjoy sex very much, I won't go into detail, but doesn't initiate. It's not a big problem really. It just means it happens when I want it.

Raymond

[Ageing Grace]

Loving Bambar's reply! :cool:

Honestly, if a man who doesn't have much sex (if any - with warm-blooded humans) then finds himself blessed by the full-term attentions of a highly sexual woman: what's to complain about?

In my world, we have a saying: "When I'm with somebody I'm faithful. When I'm single, what I do is my business." I believe this is completely normal in the 21st century :rolleyes:

If you then bully your lovely, highly-sexed woman - who has chosen you - into acting like she isn't highly-sexed (why would you do that??) ... and then gripe about it ... you need & deserve to go back to depending on avatar sex, telephone porn or whatever you were into before you got your big lucky break. I have a feeling your missus will have a good time finding Mr Right-This-Time :cool:

Raymond, your reply is as lovely as always - and you don't need telling you're a lucky man! But I somehow doubt that dogging played much of a part in your courtship :p

AG

[Raymond]

What do you mean by dogging Grace?

Raymond

[Ageing Grace]

Ummm .... going to car parks for sex :o I may have misread the OP's remarks .... Now I'm embarrassed!

[Raymond]

Hmmm. No I didn't go to car parks for sex. I never touched her until we were engaged and sex only happened after marriage. I had enough misdemeanors in my earlier years through lack of nurture etc. Nothing compares to sex in marriage with the one you are committed to.

Raymond