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Sherelle
12th February 2002, 03:00 AM
Should I marry my boyfriend?

I have a 2 year old son from a previous unmarried relationship and my ex is a brilliant dad. We separated early last year and soon after he meet someone else, they both seem happy. My son likes his new partner and my ex and I share all the responsibility of our son. Our son was planned and at that time neither of us where interested in marriage or the church.

For the past 5 months I have been seeing a very nice man who clearly adores me and gives me lots of compliments and attention. He has met my son once for 10 minutes (I want to be sure before introducing my son into forming a new relationship).

We are both intellectual and have good jobs, so financial we are independent. We get on very well and can talk for hours on the phone as we have very similar ideas in life. However, when we meet I am just not as attracted to him not becuase he is not good looking (to me) because he is okay. We are both activitists and strieve for what we want. We now both attend church (although in different parishes).

I like him but do not love him. Whearas, he loves me and enjoys cuddling me. I don't like it. I am very confident and know that if I liked him more I would have no problem him touching me.

I do not want to loose him as he is the first person I have ever been able to agree on when it comes to the important things in life. He has no children and his longest relationship was 18 months, whilst mine was 4 years (with my sons dad).

My problem - he likes me more than I like him and I don't want to break up and don't know how to make things better.

He does not want to be friends as he said he doesn't make friends with women.

We both want to settle down and get married but can it be together???

Help - we are both 34 years old.

amanda
26th April 2004, 04:42 AM
Sherelle,

I was in almost the same boat you were (except for the kid)--met a nice man, but the attraction wasn't intense enough for me, etc etc...and, I married him anyway...and I have to tell you it is challenging to be in a relationship with someone who I am not attracted to all the time...I don't think you should discount him altogether...just take your time...and if he pushes you or tries to rush you...that should be a sign to you...and most importantly, pray...I feel God knows what's best for you than you do..TRUST his leading...he wants the very best for you

good luck

David Harris
27th April 2004, 08:39 PM
No do not marry him. Not yet anyway.

baringstraits
28th October 2004, 03:08 PM
NO< NO< NO!! Please do NOT marry this man! Marriage is a combination of friendship (which you have) and lover (which you DON'T have!) Keep this man as a friend but if you marry him, you will be settling for friendship only! And he WILL know it in time. You deserve it ALL. So does he! It would be totally unfair for you to marry him when you don't have the lover attraction you should.

Wait and ask God for a man who has it all. Otherwise, if you marry him, one day you will meet the man that has the companionship and the attraction you crave, and the temptation will be terrible. Do not marry ANYONE you are not very physically attracted to. Because if you're not sexually attracted, you only have a friend. Friends don't marry friends--at least not JUST friends. Friends marry friends who are also lovers.

Jane