Hello and HELP!

[tia-maria]

Hi, what a life saver this forum is. I've cried reading how supportive you all are of each other.

I've been lurking for a while but I've plucked up the courage to share my problem.

I'm 45 and been married for 20 years. Lately my husband has had problems "performing" and I've been blaming myself... and thinking all sorts of things like, I'm not good enough for him, he doesn't fancy me anymore, I've let myself go etc etc etc.

Well, a few weeks ago I found an empty condom wrapper in the tumble dryer... I was so shocked, I went to pieces immediately. I reacted really badly and screamed at him. He confessed that it was his but told me not to get the wrong idea. He said that he had put it on to masturbate and forgot the wrapper in his jeans. I started thinking that he was getting it elsewhere, that's why he couldn't perform with me.
I want to believe him but it's so difficult.

Do men put a condom on to masturbate?

He hates condoms, so why would he use one to bloody masturbate... ?

Sorry for the rant, please can anyone give me some advice.

thank you.

[ken94]

Hi Tia-maria

I think only a man can answer your questions about condoms. Here we are.

" Do men put a condom on to masturbate? "
Yes it happens.

" He hates condoms, so why would he use one to bloody masturbate... ? "
In fact it is unpleasant to make love with a condom. I personally don't like it.
Masturbating it isn't making love and so the pleasure is different. That is why your Husband use a condom to masturbate and not to make love.

On the fact you found the condom in his pocket, I think his story should be true. Otherwise imagine if he had an affair he wouldn't have his trousers on and so wouldn't put the condom in his pocket; that is to me impossible.

I hope that help.

I think you both need some kind of therapy to help with your sexual relationship. Maybe speaking to your GP, the GP may provide some leads on that issue.

[ken94]

Tia-maria

Don't blame yourself I think it is only a relationship issue which can be turn around quickly with some help.