twiggy
8th June 2008, 02:18 PM
It always starts this way, my wife has left me!!!, we've been together for just over 12 years and have been married for 5 years, no kids, we are both 34 years old, i'm not the best of husbands around the house and abmit i could have done so much more, the problem is she never really moaned about it and i so wish now that she had sat me down and gave a right telling off, but this is the problem with her, she hasn't got a bad bone in her, she's so kind and tends to hide her head in the sand when things aren't great, we've never had big arguments and if i did get in a mood i'd just sulk for half an hour then we'd make up.
She phoned on a Wednesday two and a half weeks ago now and said she didn't know how to tell me this but she wasn't coming home, and that she couldn't live with my anymore, and that i treated her like a mother and never brought her flowers etc.
So this happened on the Wednesday, she wouldn't tell me where she was staying as she said i'd try and track her down, this hurt so much, what a thing to say.
I called her and text her but she just blanked me, Thurs/Frid/Sat/Sun/Monday went and i got a text on the Tuesday morning saying she's sorry for not getting back and she'd call later, i decided to call her and she called me back on my third attempt, i said we needed to talk and i asked her if she wanted to meet up, she said she'd come over on Wednesday, she finished work and came over, i started by saying that i'm so sorry and that i'd realised all my bad points and that now i knew how she felt and that i'd change my ways, she wasn't having any of it and said i couldn't change it's just the way i am, i explained that now i knew what the problems were we could work on them, before i was blind to it all because she never really said anything.
I said that my marriage was the most important thing to me and that i just wanted a chance, and said if things don't work out after a month or a week or whatever then we'll just have to except what's happened and move on however hard it would be, and at the end of the day then we could atleast say we tried every thing to save this marriage before the D word takes effect, she said she had no feelings for me as a husband and i was like a child she had to look after, at this point i just seemed to give up as i felt what ever i said was going to be wrong and felt she'd made her mind up and that was it, so me being me said well i guess we'll have to get the Divorce rolling (mistake i know, but i said it) with that she look up very quick and said look can't we wait a while whilst we get use to the idea of being apart, it's only been a week, now at the time it didn't register with me but when it did i thought what a strange thing to say.
She then went to go up stair as she wanted to take some stuff and as she went up the stairs she said i could have the house as i'd put so much into it, a bit later she then came out with i could pay her off, give me £50'000 and we can have an out of court settlement, what a thing to say, it sounded like she was just an item on the shelf.
Anyway she took some of her clothes and bits, i think she also took her passport, i also noticed she wasn't wearing her rings, at this point i went out as i couldn't stand watching her take her stuff.
That was 12 days ago now, i've left 3 messages on her phone, i've written a letter to her and sent flowers, these were both sent to her work as i don't know who she's staying with, the letter and flowers were sent on Monday just gone, i haven't heard a thing from her and was expecting to have had atleast a thank you, i did text her yesterday saying i hoped she got the flowers and my letter, and still up to now i've heard nothing back, this is all very strange and is just not like her, her payslip from work did arrive in the post on Thursday which is also very strange as we always get given these at work, what with this and the fact that i think she's taken her passport makes me wonder if she gone away to think, she wouldn't go on her own though, maybe i'm reading to much into it all.
It's all come out very sudden, it was only back in March that she kept going on about wanting to have children, i just kept saying oh no, kids, i don't want kids, i did really and she new it it's just i wanted to wait awhile, this all seems very odd for someone who now wants to end it all, when i look back to see what's changed since March a few thing stick out, one being that her Brothers Wife has become pregnant, i noticed this did upset her a bit, i've also been spending to much time of late on the computer, and she has also got a new Boss at work and the work load has gone up a lot, i could see she wasn't happy with the job anymore.
The way she's acting is very strange, after all our years together, the things we've been through, and it's like she's just vanished of the face of the earth, it's like i don't and have never existed, i'm doing everything i can to save this marriage, all the problems can be worked on and resolved, i just so wish she'd give our marriage a chance, why do people just give in so easily, i just don't know what to do next.
She phoned on a Wednesday two and a half weeks ago now and said she didn't know how to tell me this but she wasn't coming home, and that she couldn't live with my anymore, and that i treated her like a mother and never brought her flowers etc.
So this happened on the Wednesday, she wouldn't tell me where she was staying as she said i'd try and track her down, this hurt so much, what a thing to say.
I called her and text her but she just blanked me, Thurs/Frid/Sat/Sun/Monday went and i got a text on the Tuesday morning saying she's sorry for not getting back and she'd call later, i decided to call her and she called me back on my third attempt, i said we needed to talk and i asked her if she wanted to meet up, she said she'd come over on Wednesday, she finished work and came over, i started by saying that i'm so sorry and that i'd realised all my bad points and that now i knew how she felt and that i'd change my ways, she wasn't having any of it and said i couldn't change it's just the way i am, i explained that now i knew what the problems were we could work on them, before i was blind to it all because she never really said anything.
I said that my marriage was the most important thing to me and that i just wanted a chance, and said if things don't work out after a month or a week or whatever then we'll just have to except what's happened and move on however hard it would be, and at the end of the day then we could atleast say we tried every thing to save this marriage before the D word takes effect, she said she had no feelings for me as a husband and i was like a child she had to look after, at this point i just seemed to give up as i felt what ever i said was going to be wrong and felt she'd made her mind up and that was it, so me being me said well i guess we'll have to get the Divorce rolling (mistake i know, but i said it) with that she look up very quick and said look can't we wait a while whilst we get use to the idea of being apart, it's only been a week, now at the time it didn't register with me but when it did i thought what a strange thing to say.
She then went to go up stair as she wanted to take some stuff and as she went up the stairs she said i could have the house as i'd put so much into it, a bit later she then came out with i could pay her off, give me £50'000 and we can have an out of court settlement, what a thing to say, it sounded like she was just an item on the shelf.
Anyway she took some of her clothes and bits, i think she also took her passport, i also noticed she wasn't wearing her rings, at this point i went out as i couldn't stand watching her take her stuff.
That was 12 days ago now, i've left 3 messages on her phone, i've written a letter to her and sent flowers, these were both sent to her work as i don't know who she's staying with, the letter and flowers were sent on Monday just gone, i haven't heard a thing from her and was expecting to have had atleast a thank you, i did text her yesterday saying i hoped she got the flowers and my letter, and still up to now i've heard nothing back, this is all very strange and is just not like her, her payslip from work did arrive in the post on Thursday which is also very strange as we always get given these at work, what with this and the fact that i think she's taken her passport makes me wonder if she gone away to think, she wouldn't go on her own though, maybe i'm reading to much into it all.
It's all come out very sudden, it was only back in March that she kept going on about wanting to have children, i just kept saying oh no, kids, i don't want kids, i did really and she new it it's just i wanted to wait awhile, this all seems very odd for someone who now wants to end it all, when i look back to see what's changed since March a few thing stick out, one being that her Brothers Wife has become pregnant, i noticed this did upset her a bit, i've also been spending to much time of late on the computer, and she has also got a new Boss at work and the work load has gone up a lot, i could see she wasn't happy with the job anymore.
The way she's acting is very strange, after all our years together, the things we've been through, and it's like she's just vanished of the face of the earth, it's like i don't and have never existed, i'm doing everything i can to save this marriage, all the problems can be worked on and resolved, i just so wish she'd give our marriage a chance, why do people just give in so easily, i just don't know what to do next.