David59
3rd February 2002, 07:55 PM
My wife and I have been married a little over two years. I love her very much, I am strongly believe she loves me. We met through an affair and lived together for almost a year through our divorces. We were both involved in loveless marriages and both felt a need to "break out" and live life on the edge during this tumultuous time in our lives. Lots of partying, late nights fun trips and yes, lots of alcohol. I am a professional in a leadership position and after a year or so of wreckless living, I was ready to settle back down and live a more responsible life, not only because my job security requires it but because of our kids and ongoing litigation we were in in order to get more custody of them. ( My wife does not have custody of her 3 kids and we are trying to get jt physical custody at this time) This is where our biggest problem stems. My wife, either voluntarily or because she lacks control ( I'm not sure which) continues to drink excessively and live a life that is putting us both at risk of problems in the future. She has trouble with moderation and an innocent night out with friends could easily turn into disater due to her lack of control. More importantly, she becomes harder to control with increased alcohol and becomes verbally abusive of me to where I am scared to take here anywhere with friends. I know this is hurting my relationship because she says that I don't want to have a social life or friends, but that is simply not true. I have little trust in her based on our rocky past experiences and professionally can't afford many more "scenes" in public when she has had too much to drink. I have told her before that she is a real life Dr Jeckel-Mr Hyde due to her wide behavior before and after alcohol. She simply refuses to see her problem and points the blame squarely at me. While we share many common interests, our lives are diverse in many ways. She owns her own business, and sets her own hours, I have to be at work ( and rested) at 8 am. She likes to party on any night, I like to only on weekends. I am 42 and I believe more settled, she is 33 and less inhibited. We have trouble talking about our differences because she gets very mad at the notion that she drinks too much and gets mad when I try to bring it up. We have made progress, but it is coming too slow, I'm afraid. I f she doesn't get a grip and start living more responsibly I am going to have to end this marriage. This would hurt deeply because I love her and have tried desperately to make this marriage work. Help.