Killin me

[Chiltepin_Christina]

My husband is a preacher, teacher, counsellor. Everyone knows how wonderful he is.
He lies to me. He has told me he works full time, when only part time. He managed the money and didn't pay the bills. He took my money and spent it on restaurants and things our 4 kids want. I come home after 13-14 hour days to maggots on rotting food in the sink, dog poop on the floor in the kids room and him gone with the kids. It hurts me that he lies, that I am not worth it to him. I work so hard and have nothing. I had to take over the finances to try to not end up on the street, only, he gets into the account from where I am trying to pay the bills and pulls out money or pays bills without telling me, before there is any money, or when I have checks out there for bills that I paid. We have agreed that I am supposed to manage the money and that he is not supposed to draw money out, but he does it anyway. 1500 here, 400 there, until.... over 37500 in lies I found out without him telling me.
When I catch him, he punishes me. I'll come home after work to find no one, no note, no message.
He doesn't love me.
He loves my paycheck.
By the way,
anyone want to come here him preach on Sunday?

[Raymond]

This is hypocrisy of the worst kind. Doesn't he know that if anyone doesn't take care of their own wives and children they are counted as infidels. Jesus didn't condemn anyone except for the hypocrites which means a show of false virtue. This is the worse story I have heard for ages. Its by their fruits you shall know them, not by their words.

Raymond

[Too trusting]

Oh Christina,
My heart goes out to you! Living with lies is so difficult!
Is there any way you can create a separate account to which ONLY YOU have access? It IS (possibly) a short term stop-gap measure but at least would alleviate some of the extra and totally unnecessary stress your husband creates by raiding the family bank account. And, while you're at the bank, how about setting up another (also in your name only) savings account just for you (and your children)? My sister swears by having her "own" money and I think she's right. It's the "new" golden rule: He (she) who has the gold makes the rules.
You certainly should NOT be supporting this sanctimonious freeloader (and apologies if I am too judgmental here!). This guy needs help! You are already taking on way too much by the sound of it!

[Raymond]

I agree with what you say. It is deception of the worse kind because it's putting Gods name on the back of it which makes it ten times worse in my view. This is what a hypocrite is. A show of false virtue. I say that as a christian.

Raymond

[sswife]

I agree with you Raymond.

Christina, I can only guess how bad it is for you as a preachers wife.

I was by my husband's side for many years when he was battling with porn addiction. He was a leader in a church. I had to act like everything was fine and each sentence that came out of his mouth I resented. I felt like crawling into the ground. I felt that I couldn't speak to anyone because it would damage his image and people would talk, damaging his reputation forever.

I would definitely try open up another account. If you can't open up one in your own name ask a family member or friend that you really trust to help and have your cheques deposited in this account.

[Raymond]

I trust he is cured now SS Wife. At least he battled with it. Some are not even bothering to battle. It is said that prophetic people are more prone to temptation to it but that doesn't excuse it. One can be tempted without entering into the temptation.

Raymond