Should I believe him?

[Katiep]

I'm new to these forums but really need some friendly advice. A year ago my partner left his wife for me. I know you are all probably judging me as the other woman right now. But he was in an unhappy marriage and was very miserable. We had planned for him to come round to my house one evening when he was still with his wife. two days before that first night we were to spend together he slept with his wife. The actual day he slept with her he came round and we had our first kiss. It also transpires that the day he left his wife (we got found out) he was sending her texts saying he still loved her. I am finding it very hard a year down the line to believe anything he tells me. He also had another affair when he was with his wife. Am I being stupid when he said he made a mistake and how can I ever trust him?

[Micou]

He did it to his wife with you, why would you think that he wouldn't do it to you with someone else?? Do you remember the lies he told you when he was pursuing you? Do you remember the way he looked at you like you were the only woman in the world? Do you remember the way he made love to you like you were all that mattered??? Do you remember how you BOTH had to sneak around so wifey wouldn't find out? Well, if he did that to you AND his wife before you AND someone else . . . why would you be set apart??????

[Katiep]

I know what you are saying is so true. But he tells me I am the best thing that has ever happened to him and when I am with him he makes me so happy. Do I forgive and forget and try and believe what he is telling me is the truth or do I get out now? I know you can't answer these questions for me!! I am just in need of some advice. I'm at my wits end right now.

His relationship with his wife is practically non-existant now the only contact he has with her is for his children. Please help!!

[SadBill]

I know what you are saying is so true. But he tells me I am the best thing that has ever happened to him and when I am with him he makes me so happy. Do I forgive and forget and try and believe what he is telling me is the truth or do I get out now? I know you can't answer these questions for me!! I am just in need of some advice. I'm at my wits end right now.

His relationship with his wife is practically non-existant now the only contact he has with her is for his children. Please help!!

Katie you are a fool, and one in love with a selfish man. If his life was so bad then he should have left his wife a long time before falling into bed with you. He tells you that the sun, moon and stars shine from you? I'm sure he does.

Stupid question time...are you younger than his wife? have you kids? were you in a position when you met that he told you just how bad it was at home for him? Did you hear him tell you that you could make a new life together? welcome to the world of a liar and a cheat.

Oh he slept with his wife... and he kissed her? must have been a once off was it? Never happened again.... yeah sure. Theres something about seeing someone who has cheated with his wife that always sticks in my mind. So youre special enough to help him through this "bad time", what stops him from finding a new cheerleader to help him through the next "difficult time"? oh hang on, its already happened.... "He also had another affair when he was with his wife." I'm sorry, but you are a fool.

Get a grip, look at this objectively and STOP making a fool of yourself, and STOP participating in the ruination of someone's marriage. Let him screw that up on his own, and then get in touch. But you ARE the other woman, you ARE the third party.

Trust is one of the foundations of any partnership. And there is noway you can trust this jerk.

God bless you in these troubled times, lose him and find God.
Bill

[Katiep]

I know I did the wrong thing posting on this forum. Thank you for your words of wisdom though Bill. I am actually older than his wife and have 2 children who are the same ages as his. I have messed up big time getting involved with this man. He tells me though he knows he has messed up in the past but can people change do you think?

[Raymond]

People can change for the better, but when they do they usually put the past right.

Raymond

[Katiep]

Excuse my ignorance Raymond but what do you mean by putting the past right? How can he do that?

[SadBill]

I know I did the wrong thing posting on this forum.

No, you did the right thing... you have begun to question things, that is a good. you are starting to see how things are in the real world, not one where you are fed lies by a liar. Can a leopard change its spots? I sincerltly doubt it. You have been part of a process of lies and deceit, where this time you haven't been lied to - or have you? you yourself don't seem to trust this man.... I certainly wouldn't, I couldn't trust my wife after the affair, and if anyone can trust her now I don't know...? I don't think I will ever trust someone that has been like that.

Please Katie, dont run scared or offended, I seem to have a habit of saying things on this site that cause discomfort. Wait and get the side of the story from some of the other people who have had their lives irriversibly turned on their heads by their wifes' and husbands' affairs. See what they think.
God Bless.

[Katiep]

Thank you for your kind words Bill I really appreciate it. I am seriously thinking of telling him this evening a need a break to get my head straight.

[Raymond]

Excuse my ignorance Raymond but what do you mean by putting the past right? How can he do that?

I mean being honest and putting wrong any past deceits or actions one has practised. What I mean is that if someone changes for the better they will want to put right the things that can be put right. I am not making any judgments about anyone just stating a fact that people can change for the better, but will tend to put right things that were wrong, whatever things or people that will entail.

Raymond