online cheating? does it lead to more? Help!

[mayw]

Hello All

I am 33 married for past 2 years and have been with my husband for 6 years and have a 18 month old son. I live in the same village as my husband and have known him over 15 years only to say hello to.
We have spent most of our time living abroad just the two of us and on Oct last year we came back to the UK for a holiday and to see our parents. We are still here living at my parents house. Due to many turn of events we have not been able to go back as family have been ill, hubby broke his ankle etc.. We do wish to return but waiting for a better job opportunity to come. I am a stay at home mum now.

Right.... to the facebook stuff
A few weeks ago things didn't appear right, just women's intuition and bascially I managed to reset the password on his facebook account and there were messages to two old schoolfriends - where he had initiated the comversation - saying quotes like:
Can't stop thinking about you and your sexy body
I know I am married but can be open minded
I am bored and need to escape
You used to make me hard all over at school
etc..............

The girls were not really goading him and this is totally out of character for my husband. That is why I cannot get my head around it. Sex has non-exsistent for a few months but both really tired and have let things slip. He is a great father and really want to save my marriage but I cannot get past these things he has been saying.

Since having the baby I have no confidence at all and think I am fat and ugly as I barely have enough time to eat let alone make an effort - like I used to when I worked.

MY husband just cannot explain why he did it - He said he used to speak to them like that as mates but I don't think i can accept this as a reason - it has totally destroyed me and my son who now wipes my tears away if I can no longer keep them in - tho getting better at it now!


Since it happened he hasn't stopped coming round, crying telling me he will change and be the best husband ever.

why why why can you wake up one day and your life is in turmoil. Hvae counselling book this week is it too soon?

Any help appreciated.

[Raymond]

Look on the positive side Mayw. It was exposed early and seems to have been nipped in the bud. Your husband seems repentant and was momentarily out of character. Just the past coming back. A lot of us have escapades in our youth and meeting those people again will bring all those memories back. The memories are strong because we were in the flush of our youth, but they are the past and should remain so. We have to be careful when that happens and it did unwisely open himself up a bit. It seems to me it is now fixed and forgiveness may be the order of the day. Your self esteem seems low at the moment which is probably making it worse than it is. He is probably more aware of what can happen now.

Raymond