Marriage first or babies first - what do you think?

[Kate]

Apparently more people are choosing to start a family first rather than marry. More than one in three children are born out of wedlock in the UK, one of the highest rates in Europe.

What do you think? Should couples marry first before they start a family, or do you subscribe to the view I have heard before that it's nice for the children to be present at Mum and Dad's wedding?

[Carly]

I had my daughter beofre I got married. Yes, it was nice to have her at our wedding but I would have prefered to be married first.
My husband left me when our daughter was 2, we were married for 2 years, together for 6. Somehow it appears that marriage was the deathknoll in our relationship. I am going through a divorce now, some men just don't like commitment.

[Kate]

Dear Carly

Thank you for sharing your story. I've actually come across similar things happening before, where a couple had been living together for a long time and then got married and it only lasted a few months.

I did wonder in their case if they were looking to marriage to solve a problem between them. That perhaps they thought if they went through the ceremony it would somehow cement them together. Unfortunately they may have just been avoiding the real issues. Do you think you can get married for the wrong reasons?

I wonder if some men are actually afraid of commitment?

I hope that the future has something much better for you.

Best wishes

Kate