Somebody Please Help

[troxman]

Hello everyone,
My wife of almost 6 years left me 2 days ago, she is now staying at her moms. She has never left before and I am freaking out. Im 31 she's almost 27. It took her leaving to realize what ive been doing wrong in our relationship I dont believe its all my fault but I take the majority of the blame. She has even told me what ive been doing wrong I just never listened or expected her to leave. From the moment she left 2 days ago I have been feeling something I never thought I could feel, im sure alot of you on this site know what im talking about. Our relationship has been more of a brother sister type relationship for probably the last couple years, I stoped kissing her and intimacy, well lets just say I can count on two hands the sex in the last year. (things used to be great) Strange enough I just let time pass and let things continue to spiral down. She also says shes jealous of other happy couples and that she's tired of wanting more. When she left she told me that she needed space and time to think about what she really wants. I was devestated and started kissing her ass almost immediately to be honest up until this morning I havent left her alone through phone calls. Most of the time she just wont respond. Yesterday she came by to pick up one of the dogs (she left me the other dog and an empty house) and I tried to hold it together, I said hi hunny is it ok if we talk for a minute calmly and proceeded to tell her how I felt about her (I lost it at this point) and that I know we can make this work and to not give up on our marriage. She said she's not giving up and even told me she loves me a couple of times. What scared me is the lack of emotion she showed, she barely teared up, and I was a whimipering baby. Anyway she said this cannot be fixed in a couple of days and that she still needed time to figure out whats best for her and that I need to do the same. When she left yesterday after out chat she barely let me give her the slightest kiss. I love her so much I cant loose her.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IM GOING CRAZY.......PLEASE ADVICE ANYBODY!!!!!

[sadagain]

Hi Troxman

I've been on the other side of this.

Lonely, no intimacy, looking at other couples and longing to have the closeness love and happiness they have. Yip been there.

Us girls work different from lads, we need to feel loved, and by that I don't just mean the sex, (although that in important too :-) ). Simple things like a Kiss a hug, sitting together on a sofa watching the telly, going out for walks, spending time and enjoying each others company.

I've been where my ex would ignore me for days /weeks and there were no hugs, feeling wanted, and than he wanted sex when he had decided to talk, I was expected to switch on my emotions just like a "flick of a switch", but to really be happy you have to be at one with the other. Your wife will feel lonely, sad and neglected, if you have not being showing interest in her, she will be wondering what's wrong with her, that will lower her self esteem. If she's been telling you she's sad and trying to fix it you should listen. She probably feels like she has been banging her head of the wall, but only by leaving can she stop it hurting.

You need to try and rekindle what you had before, take your wife away for the weekend somewhere neutral and get that time together and make the most of it, try and get back what you used to have. If you have not been feeling happy this last years maybe you have been a wee bit depressed? Things can get into a rut, but the key to happy relationships is to both see the problem and try and fix it together.

Make your wife feel wanted, she needs to feel loved to be happy. Let me tell you form my side, its extremely upsetting when you deeply love someone and they don't show and interest or return the love.

I stuck it out for 15 years, my husband did all the crying and that, but he refused to stay at his dads for a few weeks to help us sort it out, instead he got a flat, for two weeks he spoke of sorting it out so we could be a happy family (3 kids). Only a girl 15 years younger shows and interest and he's of blowing money and forgetting his kids! SO all the time and effort I put in over the years sticking it out was for nothing :-(.

All I wanted was to feel loved.... that one simple thing!

I hope you can sort it with your wife. Try not to get upset, focus on fixing it. Arrange a trip away and do your best to make her happy. Tell her you understand where it went wrong and you want to fix it.
Also by making her happy you will reap the rewards of a girl that loves you.

Remember the key to a happy marriage is to keep working at it and keep loving each other!

I wish you well, take care
x

[troxman]

Thank you for the reply,

My biggest issue right now is getting her to listen and believe that I want to change and basically get her back home to make it happen. She says she needs time, does that mean I should leave her alone or should I call her once a day or what. Up untill about 10 this morning I was bombarding her with calls. I read on someother sites to respect the wifes need for space, dont call or anything and wait till she's ready to work things out. (kinda reverse psycology I guess) I just feel like the longer I dont talk to her the more distant things will be and the easier it will be for her to make the desicion to leave all together.
I forgot to mention this before and I think this is one of the major reasons for this finally happening is that one of her good friends that she used to hang out with 3-4 years ago just seperated (divorce pending) from her husdband and they have been going out on the weekends together to reconnect. Her business partner is also hanging out with them she's divorced too. I thought nothing of this at first as we have full trust in our relationship. Im thinking that she see's that life is possible after divorce and that shes probably seeing a bunch of affectionate couples while she's out with them, and im sure guys are hitting on her as well. Right now I trying to figure out how to get her back to the point where she is ready to give me a shot because the thought of that not happening is unfathomable for me, it killing me. So should I give her 100 percent space or should I hound her a little bit or what? Help, Help, Help ...................PLEASE.................

[sadagain]

Hi Troxman
Its hard to know what she is thinking. It could be that she is seeing “the grass is greener” through her separated friends. Deep down she will still have feelings for you.
Do you go out as a couple much?
If i were you I would have a chat with her, tell her you will give her space. Ask her if you can go out together and spend some time together, date like you used to when you were younger.
Take her out for dinner, and make her smile, have a laugh together.
Don’t push her though, you have to tread the fine line of letting her know your there and want it to work and get better but at the same time you don’t want to be too overwhelming that you make her feel backed into a corner. Don’t just completely ignore her, that could make her think you don’t care
If she genuinely loves you and wants it to work you two will work it out.
You could always suggest Marriage counselling, some people find it works for them.
Try not to get yourself down, i know its hard, but focus on the positive things at the moment.

Take care

x

[troxman]

Thanks I really appreciate the advice!!!!

[troxman]

Sadagain,

You know we really havent done much as a couple in quite some time, usually there are others involved. I would love to have the oportunity to take her out just me and her make her laugh like the old days that would be great. I held back from calling from about 10 this morning on after I realized I was being an idiot calling her nonstop. I have seriously been in a panic since Thursday night when she left. She's coming by in the morning to drop off our dog while im at work, I figured I would leave her a little note since she doesnt respond to calls. I think just a simple I love you and miss ya without the long sad bit is a good idea, yes?

[justme&bailey]

Hi,

My husband was to like you and i just sick of trying to fix it myself without his 100% input..there are other issues in our marriage too but 1 of them was we didnt do enough together and i missed that all the time...i know how your feeling i have been separated for 8 weeks now and instead of him trying to save our marriage he has run to the arms of someone else!!...

I have never bombarded him with calls or texts i have of course sent a few and wrote him a letter but it never worked...they go to a place where at this point there is nothing really that you can do...i had a call from my husband this morning 30 mins worth of talking and thats the most we have done in 8 weeks!!...i still dont really know where i stand maybe hes starting to realize whats hes losing i really dont know...i too love my husband and to be fair i didnt really do anything wrong i just wanted to be loved like your wife does....shes lucky that she has you willing and wanting to try and sort things out...my husband will never make it easy for me or him...we had separated before for 7 months so these things just cant be rushed but my lesson is that i never dealt with it properly back then but i would have to this time...

Good luck you know we all make mistakes and take things for granted but its what you do to make it right that counts and remember actions speak louder that words..

Take care
Mia

[sadagain]

Hi Troxman,

Thats good, your right to stop bombarding her, reading other posts on the net (read quite a few this last few months!) it can push the person further away.

The notes a good idea, sometimes when we are face to face in that situation we break down and cry, coming across as needy. Giving her the space is good. I would suggest you try and set up a night out, something special, just the two off you, or even a night away somewhere neutral. (that way you dont have the fear of bumping in to people you know, and getting taken away from the two of you, so to speak). Suggest it to her and say your not pushing her, just when shes ready you will set it up.

Be completley honest with how you feel when she does ask and let her know you know where we went wrong.

I truely hope you can sort it out, Its and extremley hard time you are going through, but you will get through this. stay strong and look after yourself. We are all guilty of making mistakes and there is always faults on both sides.

You see sometimes its a shock we need to make us realise what we have, that old saying we dont know what we have till its gone!

A lot of couples go through times like yours, actually i was suprised how many people i new split for a few days /weeks and then got back together. The good thing is shes at her Mams, shes not with mates or in her own place.

Again look after yourself, remain calm and focus yourself on doing something, take the dogs out for a long walks (very theraputic).

Keep strong

x

[troxman]

Thank you guys I appreciate it,


The wife came by today to drop off one of our dogs so that the other one has a playmate. (I was at work) At least she still comes by right. I only sent her one text today (she doesnt answer calls) it said I miss you and I hope your day is going ok thats about it. She sent me a text back saying she had a letter for me, never has she responded with anything nice, I think she wants to keep me right on the edge. She knows exactly how to salt my wounds and im sure she's doin the best she can since the ball is in her court. When I got home from work I noticed she grabbed her girly weights and some exercise stuff, I guess she's has no plans of returning anytime soon, that kinda makes me wonder whats in the note!!!! My guess is first and foremost, she needs more time. Then what I wasnt giving her in the relationship. Followed by, and I hope im wrong here but something like im not sure if I want this anymore because the flame is gone. (that beter not happen by the way) Anyway she's dropping the note off here tomorrow after work, that makes me nervous, but atleast I will have a beter idea of what shes thinking!! I'll let you all know how that goes. God help me!! One text a day aint bad right?

Thanks again....

[troxman]

Thanks for the replies,

She's comin by tonight to give me the letter around 8:00pm I would imagine. Ive been sh!!-ing bricks all day wondering what the hell she has to say??? It feels like somebody is sitting on my chest and stomach, I can't breathe. I was thinking of writing my own letter for her except sticking to more positive things and not dwelling on the past, at the same time not undermining its importance. If were going to get through this she will have to let some of the past go and live for the present, stop dwelling on it and refer to it only as a model of what doesnt work for us anymore. People change and relationships need to change in order to keep things on a even keel. Unfortunately I think her leaving was kinda necessary to make me see how big an issue this is. I know that right now she is only thinking about the past and how things will always be this way since I have never taken action before to fix things. I really can't blame her!! Hopefully I will have the chance to show her im not messin around that I love her, I want to be with her, and that we can make this once again thrive.

Im starting to think mabye I shouldnt write her what do you guys think???? (I have till 8 tonight to decide this)

[troxman]

Hey guys,

My wife just came by with the letter, it could have been worse thats for sure. I maintained my composure, I cleaned up made sure I smelled nice for her. So here's what it said:

Babe,

I know your hurting and im sorry but this wasnt an easy decision for me. Im not ready to come home I know that you think we don't need anymore space between us but im not 100% sure coming home will make me happy and thats not fare to you if I come home out of guilt. The things in out marriage that need changing are things that should come naturally, I shouldnt have to schedule in sex, it only happens when were drinking and I shouldnt have to beg you to kiss me. You don't pay any attention to me. This is my fault too I gave up demanding things from you, I just got tired of telling you how to treat me. I guess I started thinking whats gonna happen when we have kids, how far down the list am I going to be. Im not saying its over, I still wear my wedding ring every day its just sad it took me leaving to wake you up. If I stayed home it would have gotten better for a week then back to normal. I need to really think about what I want and so do you cuz maybe im not it. I know you say im the only one for you but you dont even want to kiss me, you spend more time downloading reef girls than trying to do something for me. Mabye you just love me cuz I take care of you. I want you to take time and really think about what you want. I love you that hasnt changed.

So there it is, that sure makes me sound like a winner doesnt it. I do find my wife attractive and I do want to be intimate with her but I gave up putting her first and in so doing I let us drift apart to where I felt aquard to solisit intimacy. It was like we had no connection to innitiate it any more. If I can get another chance I would love to treat her right, to make time for her and I, to hold her and be the man I should have been. What wrong with me? How do I go about this from this point on? Should I wait a while before I try to explain why I think I wasnt relating to her or what? Should I ask her if when shes ready I would like to take her to dinner and just try to explain what I feel may have happened in our marriage no strings attached? I don't know what do you guys think? The only time she talks to me is when she comes over every couple of days to pick up the dog, 5 min. tops. I guess I should leave her alone until next time I see her in person right?

Thank you for any input!!!!!!!!

Adam

[justme&bailey]

Hi Adam,

Well the letter wasnt so bad was it??...i wrote a letter to my husband i didnt get much of a response i do know he read it as he made some comment about it...i think you should remain calm and give her some space..just remember actions speak louder than words i know your saying your willing to change but you have to realize that it actually has to be done and she has to feel this from you...dont overwhelm over just be natural read what she has said over and over again so you fully understand what she wants and if you can give it to her...i dont think she sounds selfish i just think she sounds like she feels unloved...like i did...i just gave up to..shes right we shouldnt have to tell you how to treat us..

It will be alot of work for the both of you...it cant just all be work from you she has to be willing to accept it because remember for so long it has been bad for her that bad that it made her feel she had to leave...my husband for his own reasons thinks that the best thing he can do for us is to spilt up but thats only because he doesnt know how to put things right because they have been so bad for so long...but theres almost always hope if you are both willing to try 100%....she is very lucky that you are willing to make a go of things...for me it will be very tough...my husband has not come near me in 8 weeks and i think this is purely because he will fall apart if he sees me...we to have a dog who is 16mths old (well hes his dog) and who he adores..even had me put my phone on loudspeaker the other day so he could call him!!!...so for me it will be a long road but im willing to let him have his space...god luck and just keep working on yourself not just getting her home...

Mia

[sadagain]

Adam

That letter should give you some hope. Your wife sounds tired and probably confused. I know what its like to feel very alone in a relationship. Some of those words your wife wrote i could have written the same. All i ever wanted was for my husband to see me as a person and not as a piece of the furniture (so to speak).

I understand what its like to feel unloved. Your wife probably tried hard to have a loving relationship but when the same was not given back she probably stopped trying. You both have got into a rut.

Another thing, because my husband very rarely paid attention to me, it knocked my self esteem right down. It shouldnt have done, but he did. Id go to work and be the joker of the pack, i laughed had fun was me as i was before i met him. When i got home i felt sad, he ignored me and would rarely be intimate, (unless it was when he wanted, then i was to turn my emotions on at the flick of a switch) and he did not find me funny in the slightest!. Dont get me wrong Adam, there is no way im comparing you to him, its just im trying to explain the loneliness side of it, and how it sometimes feels like you are leading two lives. On one side people like you (work in my case) and on the other they dont (home ex H)

You should ask your wife out for dinner, take her out, have fun together, get back the feeling you had when you first met. All relationships got through rough patches, its only be identifying the problems and working on them can we fix them!
Your wife still wears her ring, thats good!

You are doing well, you recognise where the issues lie and you want to fix them.

Maybe you should try writing her a letter, explain how you are feeling, let her know you accept there are things that need to change. Answer her letter to you. Say you would like to start going out "dating" again.
Dont beg though, by that i mean saying you cant live without her, that sort of thing. But do tell her how much you love her and how much she means to you. Take a step back and think clearly. then put pen to paper!

The reason i say write a letter is. How many times have you read her letter since you got it? I bet you have picked it up and re read it quite a few times! If she gets a letter from you then she will probably do the same.

Dont not respond to the letter she gave you, by doing that you are cementing the fact that there is nothing there, you need to keep up communication. But remain calm when you do talk be caring but try not to get yourself really upset.

End your letter by saying, you would like to go out for dinner together, to spend some time together. and see what happens.

What ever you decide Adam, i wish you luck, and i so hope your wife comes back to you. You deserve to get a second chance.

take care

[troxman]

Thank you so much for your guyzzezz help, sooooo helpful, I need all the help I can get!!

Adam

[troxman]

Hello everyone,
Damn im having a tough day today, the house is empty except for my dog, and I am feeling so alone. My close friends have been calling me and telling me I need to get out, only everytime they call there with random people usually 4-5 people and I'm not in the mood to socialize, if I go out I wan't to relax and be be around 1 or 2 close friends only. Its wierd, I hate being here alone but there's no other place im willing to go right now. My wife texted me today asking if a package arived for her today, I responded by telling her that there was no package and that I hope she has a good night. NO REPLY!!!! It sucks I pretty much wait all day to hear from her and she asks me about the mail and does not reply to anything nice I say. FRUSTRATING!! I keep wondering if mabye she's pissed that I havent been trying to get a hold of her all day like I was originally, even though she told me space is what she wants. Should I really avoid calling/texting completely, won't she think I don't care? Should I call/text her every other day? It just seems like im not doing enough!!! I wrote her a letter trying to explain why I feel like I treated her the way I did and some of the things I think can be done to get things working again pretty much responding to the issues in her letter. Havent told her about it yet I figured I'd wait a couple days. (like thats gonna happen)

[sswife]

Hi Troxman

My ideas on what to do.

I would still send her maybe one or two sms's a day. Just letting her know what you are up to. I love you/ sleep tight/ thinking of you/ making a cup of coffee, wish you were here to talk to.

What does she really enjoy? Maybe drop a gift off for her.
A few flowers you picked for her with a little poem/her favourite chocolate/a good book/a voucher for her to have manicure/back massage.

You could even write a note, "I know that I have neglected you in the passed, but would love to spoil you in some little way, I love you".

Just drop it off, that way there is no pressure for her to respond to you.

When my husband and I were going through a rough patch, we were in separate rooms for a while (have two small kids). I was not talking to him. I know it sounds strange, but I actually wanted him to be feeling hurt and lonely. I wanted him to have time to think about what had gone wrong. To completely understand how he had hurt me. When I was ready, I made the first move.

Give her the space she needs, but still let her know in small ways that you are there.

Wishing you all the best.

[troxman]

Thanks for the idea's sswife

[troxman]

Im going stir crazy in this house, pictures everywhere (marriage pic's and vacation pic's) and nothing to do being saturday and all. My wife texted me yesterday saying that if I plan on going out she would pick up the dog and bring it to her moms house. I texted back later that night saying I was going to go out with a buddy (first time ive left the house since she left) to have a couple beers and talk and asked if she just wants me to drop the dog off at her moms for her. She said yes just drop off the dog for her. (by the way this is pretty much the only text she's answered of mine, and its about the dog!) I dropped the dog off at her moms house and her mom practically tackled me. (in a good way) She ran up and gave me a hug and started crying, telling me that she doesnt know what her daughters thinking and that her and her husband missed me and that he too is upset. She said that she's not allowed to talk about things with my wife and that my wife hasent been sleeping much, that she hated men right now, that shes keeping strange hours and going out frequently. She said it seems like she has completely confided in her devorced friends and has shut out everything to do with me. She also said that she thinks her freinds are having a big influence on her right now. Her mom told me tonight she plans on going out to see one of her old freinds that lives 30 min away and plans on partying with her and staying out there for the night. Her father called me today and asked me to come buy, that he wanted to talk over a beer. So im going over there after she leaves to talk to him tonight. He even asked me to stay for dinner, but I told him thats probably not a good idea. I texted her today to tell her I have a letter for her, it also said I love her and to have a good night, she did not reply. The letter I wrote her addresses alot of the issues that she wrote about in her letter to me; why I feel like I acted certain ways and what I propose we do to make things beter, and that I want to change. I feel like were drifting further and further apart, I can't stand this anymore!! Why cant she at least give me something to go on? After I give her this letter I feel like I have told her pretty much how I feel so I dont know what else I can do especially since she wont answer calls or texts!!! I feel like im stareing into the dark!

....................day 9 of separation.....................

What do I do?

[justme&bailey]

Hi troxman,

Its good that her parents are still really friendly with you..i dont have that...im afraid to say that 9 days is really nothing in the mist of things...im 9 weeks down the line and have really only had 1 meaning full conversation with my husband in that whole time...her parents saying that she has shut out talking about you that really doesnt surprise me this is what they seem to do..its as if they cant deal with it so they dont and i dont think they do until your they are ready to do so and you either have to wait or get on with your life...what you say about drifting apart i understand but when i spoke to my husband after 8 weeks we were still able to laugh and talk like we always had so try not to worry about that to much..its all feelings and love we are talking about and it will always be painful...

I have just learnt that you have to give them space..i too wrote a letter and have told my husband cleary how i felt about him but i never asked him or pushed him to make decisions like i will not let him do that to me...its just time..i or nobody else can tell you want is going to happen im sure you crave for your life to be back to normal...i do to but i know i couldnt go back to things the way they were before we split and to make the changes you both and we all need takes time...just hang in there try not to be needy of her..

Take Care
Mia

[troxman]

Thanks Mia,

I talked to her mom and dad today when I went over to get one of my dogs. Her mom says her daughter looks horible, that she has been working her but off during the week and going out and partying late at night with her two devorced friends on the weekends. On top of that she hasent been sleeping. Her dad asked me what I really want, I told him that I was in this for the long haul. He told me to be patient then, she's going to get burnt out sooner or later and realize that what she had is worth working out. He said he thinks its gonna take a while!

To add fuel to the fire my wife and I's house is in forclosure and we dont have long before we/I have to leave. We were planning on moving in with her parents for 6 months or so and saving some money before all this came about. Another reason we wanted to stay with them is that her mom recently found out she has breast cancer which has mestastized into other parts of her body. This is hard for me because I wanted to be there for her mom 100% but now I cant. It looks like im gonna have to stay at a friends house for a while. Luckily a friend of mine has offered to let me stay with him and he only lives about a mile away. Im really not looking forward to packing up the house and putting everything in storage! Also I have to start doing the bills since they still come the the house, the wife's allways handled this. SOOOOOOO much on my mind. It helps me so much to talk about things on here I can't tell you guys how much your thoughts and advice calms me down!!

Thanks So Much

Trox

[troxman]

I dont know what to do anymore. She dropped off a letter this morning, she new id be at work. She probably didnt want to see me because the letter was pretty bad. It said basically how my letter to her had good ideas but its too little to late, that our marriage has turned into a friendship, that I didnt even fight for her when she left in the way of cards or flowers even though she told me she needed space and that she would never return my texts or calls and everyone that I talked to told me to respect her space. (even on here) Her mom even told me when I was considering buying her flowers not to and to avoid her right now cause she needs her space and because she doesnt know what she wants. By the way I had roses for her last night when she was supposed to come by with this letter, but she decided to wait till this morning when I wasnt there. She also said she is happier right now at her moms house then here with me, (heartbreaking) that I got lazy and gave up on our marriage a long time ago, and that she loves me but she need to find out what kind of love it is.

Damned if you do damned if you dont as far as space no space. I honestly don't know what to do now, she knows how I feel and that I want another chance but all she can do is bring up the bad and forget about trying to work on things!! What the hell!! I thought this was a life commitment when I got married! What happened to working on things as husdband and wife. Im so frustrated!!!

..................................13 days now............................................

[justme&bailey]

Hi trox,

People go through many different emotions after separation my feeling is she really doesnt know what she wants or expects you to do...shes all over the place emotionally you still need to remain calm and consistant...this will work..maybe shes burnt out from work and going out and wrote that letter on a bad day she may even say sorry for it..but dont go at her over what she wrote..just say you understand...

My husband came to see me for the first time on tuesday at my work i havent seen him for 2 months...i just acted happy and chatted my hands where tucked firmly in my pockets because i was shaking!! but i held it together and then had a little cry after he left...he said we need to sort this mess out and looks awful!! he asked to see Bailey (our dog) and wanted something of his from the house...he said can you let me know when i can come over..i just said whenever he wants but he wanted to do it this week but as of yet he hasnt been over probally trying to pluck up the courage!!! but i will just sit back ive said its ok for him to come over but im not going to beg or plead with him im past that stage (well to be honest i never really done it)...

So you just hold on tight i do think it will take alot of time for you both theres no rushing it trox...just show you care and are willing to try and work things out thats all you can do...dont be dis-heartened by her behaveiour at present and as others say she will indeed burn herself out how long that will take who knows has taken my husband about 10 weeks!!...this is now a very tricky stage for me...but i have faced it everyday as you have without masking it with other things to take it away..(ie partying and so-forth) and feel much better for it hes now at the stage i was 6 weeks ago..feeling sad and needy!!!..(but still fighting it a bit) male pride eh!!..

So take care and keep smiling..

Mia

[troxman]

Encouraging thoughts thanks Justme, gonna write her yet another letter. I texted her this morning telling her that I need to talk to her about her letter and that if she doesnt want to talk one on one or on the phone that I would bring it by her moms house while she's working. What a mess!!! :(

[justme&bailey]

Hi Trox,

hope your ok?? hows things going and news??...ive had another visit this week from my husband he come to the house things were ok but it was very hostile as i said its a rollercoster of emotions...when he came to my work to see me he was all sad and wanting to sort the mess out but when he came to the house it was like i need to sort this mess out but not right now i have something better to do..ie going out...so now after his visit i have relised that hes not ready and nor am i..but before he came over i thought i was and i think he did too but clearly not...so my words to you are take it very very slowly...his visit has set me back and im sure it has him too...i have spoken to him since he left so we are still talking but i just know its not the right time....

Hope your ok

Take care
Mia

[troxman]

Hey Justme,

Things have taken a turn for the worse. She told me over the phone on Friday that she wanted to be separated, she's past asking for space. I also talked to her mother on Friday night she told me that she is not wearing her wedding ring anymore and that she's headed to Las Vegas this weekend with her devorcee sidekicks. Her mom said that one of the girls from her work has a timeshare available up there for them. I took a look at our checking account today, she took out 800 dollars last night. Looks like she's not holding back out there. I decided to take my ring off too, hate doing it but its unfair for me to wear it and her not dont you think. So yea, not looking good. I think im gonna start packing the house this week, its so hard to live here alone. I took all the pictures on the walls down leaned them against the wall away from my view. Pretty sad, im sitting here at home all messed up while she's havin a great time just seeming to be able to block out the last 8 years of our lives. I am so disapointed in her and upset!!!

..............................17 days of watching my life fall apart now...............................

Trox

[sswife]

Hi Troxman

I am so sorry to hear things are not going well.

I just feel that you should fight to the end for her. Try everything that you can. Why? If things don't work out in the end, you can be proud of yourself and say, I tried everything. I gave it my all.

Thinking of you. Keep that wedding ring on for a bit longer. Go over and deliver those flowers while she's in Vagas. What have you got to lose.

[troxman]

I left her flowers friday while she was at work. Her mom told me she threw them out. I dont know what to do. But I think your right if I dont try everything at this point i'll kick myself later. Thanks sswife,

Trox

[justme&bailey]

Hi Adam,

I left you a post on my thread but you seem very desperate at present..have you thought about maybe getting some couselling??..just to have someone to talk too... i have done this in the past and it can be very calming and help you understand the way you are feeling...its just a thought and i think it will help you..nobody needs to know just do it for yourself...

Take Care
Mia