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View Full Version : I'm an idiot


RoRo
19th April 2008, 04:42 PM
I went onto my husband's computer in his office to check something and it was open to a swingers website, where he was signed in and had a profile. I confronted him and he said it was just for fun, he was a voyeur nothing else. He told me that I knew all of his email addresses and could check anytime etc etc. Well, I did start checking only I didn't check just his email addresses that I knew, I checked the history on his computer. He had a whole other internet identity. He was on tons of these sites, creating profiles, saying he was attached but looking for a no strings attached relationship...etc. etc. I found the email address to an escort in one of his email address books and I found old emails that he wrote responding to personal ads asking how much for a 1/2 hour, would they come to his office and he left his office number and address. I confronted him again. He swears it was all just a game. That he never met with any of these women. I say if it looks like a duck, and it quacks, like a duck..... I wish he would just be honest. He keeps lying. "It just started" he said, then I find emails from 4 years ago. "It was one time", then I find his postings on lots of sites. I want to believe him that he was just looking but I'm not an idiot. I can't believe he thinks I'm that stupid. We are going to a therapist this week. But part of me is wondering why even bother, how could I possibly ever trust him again? We have 4 kids and have been married for 12 years. This has been going on for at least 4. I think he replaced his alcohol problem with a sex addiction. He did agree to take an AIDS test and to have an entire STD exam. I guess my very lengthy (sorry) post, is really seeking the opinion, is there any chance what he's saying is true? That he didn't actually hook up with anyone or am I just being an idiot for even entertaining that thought?

Raymond
20th April 2008, 09:04 AM
You don't really know for sure. Writing to real people about meeting for sex isn't healthy. He is treading right on the edge and living in a fantasy world. If he feeds himself enough with this stuff there is a very real danger that it might happen or has already happened. I think you have to be aware as you have been. If it has happened it is a very different ball game.

Raymond