Think my marriage is over

[mac]

Hi All

I thought i would right for some advise

I have beeen married for 21 years this July and have been with my wife since i was just 15 years old and no one ells We have two boys 16 and 19 both of them are great kids and we have always been lucky in life

Over the years with my wife we have always rowed and then made up the rows are mostly about sex and lack of it or lack of experimentation or a bit of fun i would call it and keeping the pasion in our relationship which i think is very important.For the last 3 years the rows are getting more nasty and it,s now to the piont that we just can,t talk to each other much and if we do it,s with a tone in our voices.Take for example today this morning i asked for a bit of fun to try and let some of our tenshion out she agreed and so of we went how can i say that it takes two but it only feels like one is here and the othere is just not there at all finnished and she and i just got up and went on with the day .This is not what i want i am a man that needs to feel wanted she just never offers it first i have always (90%of time )have to ask for it .Any way this evening i asked if she enjoyed it her reply was you asked for it i just gave it

I feel that this is only going one way and that we /I need to go but how to do this after so long together she has said she would go if she had somewre to go but i think it,s the facted that we are both very worried about being alone after all the years of being with each other

My mind is always thinking of getting away from this bad atmosfeor and having a break from each othier or try to make a new life for me and she could do the same but it is so hard to walk away from someone you have loved for so long and also we both have never had an experiance of meeting and having an othier relationship,s

What do i do I try to talk to her and we just row we both stay together and just have sex we just stay with each other because we no nothing ells I am 40 and she is 40 this year i just do not want to stay here for the next 20 years with the same bad ways we have both got with each other

This sounds as if i am just looking for sex in our relationship but i am not what i am looking for is a woman that looks at me and feels love and passion for me and in return i could give it back

not sure if this helps you get the picture i am trying to put across sorry about the spelling


mac

[lonelylass]

Hi Mac,

I would advice that you speak to your wife and explain to her how rejected you are feeling (it maybe she feels the same way and you don't realise it). Us women need more than just sex to make us feel loved and a recent survey showed that believe it or not, our men helping with household chores and showing appreciation was the biggest turn on!!

Sex is a very important physical side to a loving relationship and I really think you need to discuss this with her before it's too late. This goes for the lack of communication and arguments too.

You could always suggest you both go to marriage guidance counselling, that could help both of you too.

Wishing you well, LoLa x

[Raymond]

Funny thing to argue about, sex I mean. You say you are looking for a woman that looks at you and feels love and passion for you and in return you could give it back. mmm a lot of people would want that including your wife I think. Why not start the ball rolling by doing it first. Love is a decision more than a feeling. Right decisions will produce right feelings. Women are great responders. Find ways to show her love hoping for nothing in return. It will come back to you with interest. I think if you get the relationship right the bedroom will take care of itself. All I can recommend is for you to love her on purpose and try to understand her. I don't think there is all that much wrong with your marriage that cannot be fixed. Try not to only see her faults. You have probably got enough of them as well.

I don't know what you are making her do in the bedroom and don't want to know suffice to say whatever you do should be freewill for both of you without anything being forced. Everyone is different and we should all respect that.

Raymond