lonely sad and hurt people

[Alice Alice]

There is a lot of genuine hurt people who are feeling this way because of the feeling they have towards their partners.

I'm sure the partners feel sad too or aware of the sad relationship.

why do some people not understand the pain their partner is going through or at least be aware of it and give respect to that hurt loved one?

i want to do my best as a partner i want to be wrong when i'm told i'm wrong i just want to work things out.
Why do i feel like a stupid idiot who just can't figure out a simple math question???

There is so much to do in life i came from a not so happy childhood praying for the day things would get better as an adult...but of coarse was never taught what a healthy relationship was so i had nothing to compare it to....both my parents in different occasions have thrown my feelings aside and thoughts of themselves only.
This is what my husband seems to be doing most of the time....if it looks good to do something nice for me he will do it in a heart beat...its all show no go.

there are new threads and members posting almost every other day there is so much pain...i almost am afraid to read it its just keeps confirming this is a loosing battle,,,,the good and the evil....good people treating their good spouses badly with their evil ways...where is the compassion!!!!

What can we people you are meek with pain do to change this world we live in??

I personally have a relationship with Jesus Christ and feel my life would be in ruins without him.

I won't settle for someone who can't see love has the answer and God is Love

[Raymond]

Cheer up Alice. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. You know that. It's sad that the church thing didn't work out last Sunday. It would be so nice if you went together. I am sure things would throw up in his life, just being there, that he would have to deal with.

You musn't let this stop you having good fellowship with others in the church. You need to be refreshed. That is where good relationships can be worked out as well. I know that no one is perfect but there will be people like you who are trying to follow the truth which will be an encouragement for you.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Thank You Raymond

the church thing was to be this Sunday and the church i wanted to go can be reached by driving only
its along a type of highway thus walking is out of the question i have the baby with me.
I will go to the church down the street its a United Church good enough...but there was a lot of hype with the other one a lot of young families and the minister is also younger a bit contemporary as i was told.

i do feel a bit better i think my Husband could see how upset i was and read this thread before he left to work this morning and forgot to log off...anyway he called me from work to say hello he isn't in the habit of doing this ...i do love him.
he also said next weekend he won't be working, its too much really a full time job through out the week and full days work both Saturday and Sunday...he needs rest.

its a bit after 10pm the baby is fast asleep and so is Hubby
i better finish up the lunch bags

take care Raymond have a wonderful weekend with your family :)

[Alice Alice]

PS good morning Mr Alice

[Raymond]

I've never heard of a United church only United Reformed. A lot of them seem a bit dead over here. Let me know how you get on. We have to drive to church as well. There is a local one but that is Church of England and seems very formal. We need to go where the life of the Spirit is operating and the word is uplifted. There are many contributions from the floor in our church, with children dancing round with flags sometimes. God does speak to us there and fellowship is encouraged. Housegroup is quite useful as that is local and meets in anyones house once during the week.

The founder of this church went to Canada about twenty years ago and runs churches there. His name is Barney Coombs. Getting on a bit now.

God bless

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Hi Raymond i decided to go to yet another church a Gospel church, 11am
its actually around the corner...next weekend it will be the church i have my heart set on
but can't go this week because i don't have the car Hubby has it for work...and besides i don't have my licence, i never thought i would need it because i grew up in a big city called Toronto.

here is the info on the United Church http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Church_of_Canada

and this is a link to the churches where i live in sunshine coast...scroll down to... it's under CHURCHES AND WORSHIP
http://www.bigpacific.com/community/

thanks again your helpful and healing

[val100]

Poor alice, Wish I could shake Mr alice up, switch him back on reconnect him to you.
You are an amazing lady how you do it I will never know. come stay with me, bring baby and relax, breath in the clean kerry air, watch the wild deer in the woods, have a sing song, have a dance, feel young and beautiful again.

Thinking of you my friend

[Raymond]

We used to have wild deer just up the way Val. Now they have built this massive housing estate and they have all gone.

There are a lot of churches in you area Alice. If I was looking personally I would try the Gibsons Community Fellowship and Christ the King Community. Sounds like what I go to. Avoid Church of the Latter Day Saints obviously and JW's, both in error. I'm not sure about the United church. Lets say it doesn't draw me. God sees your heart Alice. He knows you want and need fellowship. If the cars not available that's not your fault. He can work it out if we pray. He is bigger than it all and can work it out for you. Keep watching Joyce. I hope this gospel church works out. You need something with a bit of power not religion and formality.

I found out that our Barney Coombs is in Vancouver in West coast Fellowship. Probably hundreds of miles from where you are I would imagine.

God bless

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Raymond!!!
My prayers have been answered thank you for being there to pray with me
This sight is so blessed with people like you i can't thank God enough!!!

im off to church i best be getting ready
all my love and prayers to all who are still praying on this sight for a miracle
i will be praying for you all in church today

[Raymond]

Thats great. I'm sure it's God's will for you to get into good fellowship Alice.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Val Your SO sweet!!
thanks for the invite love you!
oh i want your e-mail tooooo

Raymond
The Church experience was good, there was a girl strumming on her guitar and a fellow on the piano when we got there ...i was almost in tears by the end of the song.


There was 3 speakers first speaker my baby kept bobbing his head up to get a glimpse of him. He spoke very simple a bit of a blow heart kind of guy i liked him he was genuine, after mass he told me he has a long testimony was in jail got involved with drugs but now is a church speaker with a family . I did tell him we just moved to the sunshine coast this April and was in search of a church that we liked. His reply was let me know when you find the perfect church i yet have to find one and went to say our church isn't perfect but who's is?...i didn't meet his wife she was at home with tonsillitis, but i met his children very sweet kids.

The second speaker was all dressed in black like a tall Johnny Cash a bit of a suave guy he kept looking at me i was expecting him to say something like ..its nice to see new faces this morning but he didn't i thought he was a bit shady....I'm not judging i'm just observing

The 3rd speaker was very lovely i really liked his speech unfortunately i found out he is a over seer he came from the city and comes by once in a while

A small congregation I spoke with some of the members after mass they were so happy to see a new face. They were all very nice a bit of a Monty-Crew but very sweet.

My baby was very quiet and behaved so well he smiled at some of the people i was talking to it was a good time even for him.

[Alice Alice]

I found out that our Barney Coombs is in Vancouver in West coast Fellowship. Probably hundreds of miles from where you are I would imagine.




Yes i have to take a ferry boat trip over there unfortunately it would be very time consuming...never know it might make its way out here its seems to have a lot of churches as you said

[Raymond]

mmm First impessions of the new church mixed? They obviously have Christ as one doesn't go straight that way without some power. I expect they are looked after by an overseer meaning that there are other congregations attached to them. Sounds like a new setup or planted out church from a main one that is expected to grow? Time will tell if it's right for you but you do need fellowship. We all do. I'd get yourself planted there for the time being to see if it's the one you need to be in. You will hear about other good churches through them and maybe housegroups in your area. It's a start. Do you think hubby will like it?

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

i'm going to the Bible study 2-morrow
I'll get a closer look ,,,it really is a handy church to have around the corner

[Raymond]

Wow it's all happening. I really hope it works out Alice. They are not going to be perfect, who is, but if they are moving in the right direction you will get strength.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Hi Raymond
It is happening all so fast, i was praying and one day i felt different when i prayed i broke down. This thread was part of my prayer and when my Hubby read it he felt moved by my sadness.

I believe we have to feel the joy and warmth of happiness before we get what we are praying for our commitment to that level of being. Once i became committed to God in my heart things started to move along.

[Raymond]

Joy is all part of it Alice. For me it's there deep down when you are walking in faith. Part of it is knowing that you are a child of God and that He is in you. Most of life is getting it to the outside, naturally I mean, not worked up.

We are both praying for you that you really find where it's at in Christ. He doesn't change and He is solid as a rock.

Hope the bible study goes well. These things are all relevant to your relationship with your husband. God knows he needs to change.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

People say trust the universe in other words trust God

Thank you and Mrs Raymond for praying for me.

i hope the bible study is with Jamie the first speaker there is another Bible study Wed but I'm not sure if i will go to that one...never know.

The second speaker was the one i found a bit high on himself or maybe it was his shady smile.
i'm a bit sensitive to clergy men because of my past. I'm 41 years old now so i think i have more to say if anything gets weird

God Bless you and yours

[Alice Alice]

Well i guess i have to go to the Wednesday Bible study because today it didn't happen??
i was there early too and i noticed as i got there there wasn't any cars parked outside ...
..anyway i did wait and then left feeling disappointed.

I called the church when i got home to see if anyone was there but instead i got the answering machine and the message did say there was Bible studies Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 7:15pm i'm glade i didn't have to travel too far to get a no show

[Raymond]

They need someone more gifted in the admin perhaps. Try and forgive them. We have to judge what is being said. God has given us the Spirit to get a witness of what is right. I hope you can find another woman there to bounce things off. Just take on what you feel right about. You don't have to go to every meeting. They are just a provision for you if you need them although if God shows you that is the place for you then there will be a sort of commitment, but keep yourself free so that you can enjoy it. I think God really wants us to enjoy church and not just go there out of duty. There should be good times of praise as well as good sharing of the word.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Hi Raymond and Mrs Raymond
i had the best time with the Bible Study group, it was so much fun ..they forgot to remove the Tuesday Bible Study off the answering machine and someone forgot it was cancelled and had mentioned it to me.

The church is a small tightly knitted congregation, i was told the Gospel church has no head authority like the catholic have a Pope ...do you know anything about Gospel Churches?
i really like the church i think i'm staying, the one guy i found a bit weird wasn't there.

my life feels so right

[Raymond]

Hi Alice. So glad you had a good time and a fun time. I've got an idea of what a gospel church is. The main thing is that they are following Christ. There seems to be two churches in the world. One is Christs body, all those who have received Christ and His forgiveness. The other is a man made religion organised by man. Some churches may be a mixture of this. One thinks they can be saved by their own good works the other is saved by simply trusting Christ and receiving His forgiveness. Good works may well follow but from the heart, not to gain points. I was brought up a Catholic and have been in two convents. I left not knowing who Christ was although I could recite catechism, sing in Latin etc. etc. I didn't realise that I could know Christ as a person. I was terrified of coming to God in case He turned me into a monk. In the end it was nothing like that. I learned that religion can be the enemy of God. Just enjoy being a child of god and live by faith in the grace that He extends to you.

God bless you. God is aware of your marriage problems. I believe He wants you built up in the faith to see how good He is and also that He can work in your life more.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Hi Raymond
Hubby is now on the fence about going to church with me he says he will be saved on faith alone...i did remind him faith without work is dead

[Raymond]

mmm faith? You're right. Faith without works is dead. Whatever is not of faith is sin. Does he watch porn in faith? I doubt it. Something not right somewhere. It also says not forsaking of the assembling of yourselves together.

The thing is not to preach to him but build up your own faith. Who knows if you can win him by your life as the scripture says, not by your word. he has a head faith it seems but something needs to happen. Keep praying. As you get into the church I am sure others will join you in praying for him. The prayers will unsettle him but that is maybe what he needs.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

i question where my humour comes from ... that quote of yours ""Does he watch porn in faith? I doubt it. "" has me laughing.
I know your dead serious. Yes he needs Jesus to show him the way and i will pray for that, the day he opens his heart to God will be the day he opens his heart to himself.
He really has a disconnected spirit about him he talks too much about how things should be or could be but does nothing a progressionator at best. When he commits himself after a long period of not seeming to care it is done in such a way that i feel its too late (i'm not talking about the night we finally got intimate...i really am happy about it)
I'm talking about his unpracticed ways of connecting when he finally connects with what is going on i am ready to slam the door on his face by that point ...instead i have to explain why we are in an argument, being bad communication...he is bad at listening and my mother tongue is Portuguese so my English grammar isn't up to par so i say things in English as a Portuguese speaking person would understand...so there is allot working against us...this is why making love is so important to me its the way we can re-connect and i hope this will be the year we make our relationship bloom...
i am leaving it in Gods hands and praying to him to remind me i need him to guide my life.

Thank you again for helping me get closer to our God you have been a corner stone of hope

[Raymond]

Yes making love is important. It also forces relationship to those who seem distant, although porn would work against that. I was much worse than your husband believe it or not. It was only by relating to God that I found out how to relate to others properly. The bible is very strong on relationship. No civilisation has ever matched a christian one on right relationship. One of the first things I learned as a christian was that God said I will be a Father to the fatherless and that has proved true. It was incredible to have a father at last, the best one could have in fact. Your Father and my Father that makes us all relate as His children.

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Hi Raymond!!!
you were soooo right fellowship is the key
I LOVE MY CHURCH!!!

[Raymond]

Glad to hear it Alice. Hopefully hubby can be drawn in at some stage. They might have social events sometimes that he could go to?

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

very good idea didn't think of that...i did give our phone # to one of the pastor's wives so she can come by to visit.

[Raymond]

If you get drawn into the life of the Church Alice it will affect him eventually and he will have choices. I am glad in a way that you were not aware of that as it shows you have pure motives in joining the church and are not using it to manipulate him. Nevertheless it will be a natural offspin that he is affected. I'm glad that it doesn't sound like one of those religious churches where you stand up and sit down going through a ceremony. As you know the church is the people not the building and you will be the church wherever you meet if you have Christ in you.

God bless

Raymond