The Predator She's back

[It's my life.]

I call her the "Predator" she calls for no good reason.
Predator "I don't know how to jump start my car and you were the only man I could think of to help me." ya right. You don't call for a year but around the holidays up need a jump????????

Dave dose agree that she is a Predator but won't stop it. I know its his choice to put a stop to it. He tells me she is know threat. Just before us he when to the area where she lives (5 Hours away) and even though he had been through with her for 4 years ended up in her bed.

I want to close the door on this for good. I just don't know how to start????

[1aokgal]

In the US we have CALL BLOCK on the phone available for few extra $ per month. I can enter the number of person and block incoming call or block the last call that comes in as well. Great NOT to get unwanted calls. I also have an UNLISTED number. Only I can give out the number.

Nobody gets through to me unless I give them the info. You can also say..."I am busy. Please don't call me in future." or "Sorry, to hear you have problem...call road service." Then just CLICK as you hang up. So simple. Do you feel guilty to say NO?

He holds the key to this predator who gets through to him. I would tell him stop the calls into here or else. Maybe he still makes contacts. She has not got the point because he has not really ended the connection. Bet he is flattered. Then it is up to you to see the calls don't get into the house as change the number. Don't ask ...just do it.

[val100]

I had one of these it went on for 3.5 yrs it ruined my relationship. They worked together, she would ring looking for him, they would get together, for a beer when I was working, she sent me photos of her with my kids. I could write a book on what she did and he LET her do it. Tells me now he wished he had slept with her as what a waste as it ruined us anyway.

I never really got over it because we fought constantly for those years about her, everybody thought they were having an affair. I fell apart I was only a kid 22 with 2 small boys. When he finally worked out what she was like he stopped it but he never said sorry, he never looked at me and thanked me for standing by him. I never really let it go. I was too immature to know how to sort it so it festered for the next 10 years and eventually I grew to resent him and our marriage rotted, violence and abuse all became part of it and I ended up having my affair. In retrospect I believe my affair came from my need to end this marriage even though there were amazing times with lots of love and happiness, and part of me I am ashamed to say wanted to make him hurt like I was, there were other reasons too.

You need to be proactive with this woman without her knowing you feel threatened by her. It is disrespectful to you that she thinks she can ring looking for him and even more that he goes to her aid.

I am sorry that you are going through this but trust me they are both getting somesort of pay off by seeing each other a little ego massage for him and a power thrill for her. They need to grow up.

[Too trusting]

You need to nip this as much in the bud as possible. My husband had an "emotional affair" (everything but sex) with a former work colleague who looked "up" to him for help, batted her baby blue eyes and basically had him at her beck and call (she was so helpless...NOT!) until I found some flirtatious e-mails (and I thought he was really busy at work WITH work!). If your guy can't say "no", you may have to head off the calls and tell her, politely but firmly, he has other obligations. Unfortunately, it does boil down to some serious talks with your man. It's about priorities, borders and openess. It IS risky (he may choose for her). But you have every right to voice what you want and expect from your relationship (like honesty, fidelity, respect...). Good luck!