Rec'd letter from my wifes solicitor...

[912jws]

Well I have received the letter I was expecting, its not a divorce letter but I am surprised she didn't throw that in for good measure as she might as well of done!
Basically its confirming that my wife and I have agreed between us the split of assets/debts.
It goes on about being flexible with having the children and also making plans in advance.
It also states the CSA's 20% net income legal requirement and send me your last 3 payslips :(
Basically a shot accross the bows of her intentions and covering herself from a legal perspective which I can understand.
The issue I have which I will obviously need some legal advice on is mainly based on the 20% income support.
As some of you are aware my wife decided she doesn't love me and she decided on this situation, unfortunately over the last few years we have built up substantial debts together which obviously i expected us to pay off together with our joint income. My wife however who earns in excess of 100K(a lot more than me) expects me to take over 50% of these debts(nearly my annual salary!) and also wants 20% of my income. In January she said she wanted no money and I said no way I will pay my way and we mutually agreed on £300 for both children which I knew was under the CSA guidelines but doing a quick calculation based on my income/outgoings was all I could afford as it would still only leave me with a few hundred quid to live off per month, if I agree to 20% then I will have nothing to live off due to my debt liability. The annoying thing is I can do overtime and earn extra money which is what I intended to do so I could start making inroads into the debt and also have a bit of spare cash for me as I need to start getting my life in perspective in many ways due to this break up.
I mentioned the letter to her this eve and suggested we go to a mediator to discuss this as I think the 20% is unfair at the moment given my current financial circumstances, she said do you think its fair I pay for everything? I thought to myself well it was your choice!
She said she would speak to her solicitor but she doesn't have time at the moment, so I said make some time.
I wish I had money growing out of my ears but I simply don't and she should know this!
Its the same with the childcare, I said I need to do the OT as i need to sort my finances out and you can't always tell when the overtime is available at work so I told her I would give her my childcare arrangements 4 weeks in advance every month so at least I know I can pick some OT that is available, at the end of the day some of this cash will be used to support/entertain my children when I have them!
I don't want this to get crappy, I think to myself isn't she satisfied enough that she has destroyed my feelings over the last few months and now she want's to cripple me fiancially, you would think it was me that ended and was screwing someone else the way she is acting!
I think she want's her cake and to eat it, I just don't understand it?

Jon

[nik1h]

Hello

Firstly you are not obligated to send her solictior your payslips. The CSA are the only people who can demand them.

Her on 100k plus. wow!!! You on a lot less, how much less???? enough to have a miserable existance? You may legally have to pay CSA but you'll will be well sorted with divorce settlement as she may well have to pay you spousal maintenance on a salary like that.

[Sierra]

If you have a hardware store near you, you can get out of this for about 100 pounds.

This is how:

1. Buy a good shovel.
2. Gas up the car and go out driving. About 100 miles. Find a nice deserted spot. Dig a good, deep hole about her size.
3. Go home
4. Invite her over to "discuss".
5. When she gets there, club her in the head with the shovel, load her in the car and drive back out to the hole.
6. Drop her in.
7. Put the dirt back in. Tamp in down and bring the extra back in a bucket.
8. Take the extra dirt and plant flowers. The dirt-connection will be immensely satisfying one day.
9. Take apart the shovel. Burn the handle. Dispose of the blade.
10. Tell her solicitor you are amenable to a reasonable settlement.
11. Watch the flowers grow.

Even better if you already own a shovel. Pay cash for the gas.

S

[val100]

Oh she is a foolish lady.

You must pay for your kids Full stop if she earns that much then you are under no obligation to pay her maintainance. Also she broke up the family home (sorry I haven't read your thread)
therefore she will be hard pressed to win financial support of any kind from you through the courts.

You can fairly work out how much you can afford to pay towards debts through mediation.
If the debts are for cars house etc get them sold.
My H wants half the money for our car, we don't owe anything on it (thank god) and he never ever learnt to drive so the car is MINE. I signed the cheque and it has only ever been registered in my name.
These are games solicitors play to f***k us up and to get wads of cash from us too.
Try and keep it out of their hands and get to mediation.

I have 4 kids and H pays nothing at all towards them, once in a while he throws me a few bob, read on a post he put up (different Forum) that he has to work two jobs to keep a roof over his childrens heads, I swear it took me all I had not to throw the computer out the window. Day 7 of work, same as last week and the week before, I work 2 jobs, I work 7 days a week to keep the roof over our childrens head. My son asked him to buy him a pair of shoes (i told him to, the boy needed them) he refused however he did buy concert tickets the following week at the same price as the kids shoes.

Oh sorry now I am cross. 912jws financially you will be ok unless she packs in her job. Times have changed and you can ask for maintaince. The law here says that a husband must keep his wife in the lifestyle she is accustomed to should he break up the home, and vice versa
I doubt it is different with you.
Best of luck