How often

[sideshow]

Hi all. Am new here but am really loving the site. Some great marrige help here.
After reading lots and lots of threads, I am probably finding the closest ones that describe my situation with my wife is the lack of sex (on her behalf).
I know you all now think "oh here we go again", but wait the question is yet to come.
Most of threads talk about the lack of sex the SO offers. This is the topic of conversation MANY times in my household. But my question is this:

What is the right amount of times a couple should be doing it weekly???

Example: I questioned my wife on this one (that is questioning the one with the lack of lobido what SHE thinks is a decent amount of sex that we should be having per week). Her answer to this was " probably twice throught the week and once on the weekend". I just about fainted that she said this cause the last time we had that much sex was probably within the first 2 months of us meeting. Oh and by the way, just cause she said that doesnt mean anything changed - and it didnt. I think its funny (well sad really) that she would say that and then not even make an attempt to reach that goal.

A lot of the time she says i want it too much - that i am a sex addict. This leads to another question.

When does it become an addiction?? After how many times throught the week that i would want sex, would it now become an addiction.

Reason i ask is that i will hit up the missus everyday. I dont get it enough, so if i dont try, i wont get it. So in her eyes, i probably am an addict.

It is sooo hard cause I love her and she turns me on sooo much. And the same old thing occurs mentally: these fealings of constant rejection are SOOOO harming.

Any answers anyone????

[Alice Alice]

Dear sideshow

As often as you can get it
that's my answer

If she was open to all your needs she will find (i think) that you won't be trying so hard to get it ASK HER WHAT IS IT ABOUT SEX SHE COULD LIVE WITH OUT ...maybe don't expect so much when the time comes...slow down don't scare her away

You got a good answer from her that would be the cornucopia 2wice a week PLUS a weekend!!!!!

At least you get a little (not to say that's good enough) but still

your attracted to her and never giving up, imagine if she gave you zero sex? what would you say to that?...i find my Hubby attractive too but have stopped trying the rejection is too awful

i'm nothing to sneeze at i have plenty of men eye balling me...but my mojo is dead.
BUT if Mr Alice came at me like a hungry man i would welcome him...ahhhh

[Raymond]

I don't think you are an addict Sideshow so long as you are doing your job and doing what you should do. It just seems that your sex drives are mismatched. Some of the wives on one thread would love to be in your wife's position. Don't ever let anyone say it is wrong because it's not. God gave it as a gift to bring intimacy between you in marriage (as well as to have children). Perhaps your wife needs awakening and assurance of love without sex sometimes. In other words you love her all round. Relating well will increase her desire for sex with you. I think she ought to try and meet your need. If it's difficult sometimes to keep up with you she can do things, using a bit of imagination, to bring you release. As Alice inferred there is no set frequency. Everyone is different.

Raymond

[Micou]

Hi Sideshow, in my books it has to be as often as possible, wherever and however!!! However, only with hubby will do! I must admit that I wear the poor boy out and he sometimes has to very tactfully ask for the night off and I have to settle for a kiss and a cuddle instead ;)

But seriously, I do believe that how often is really an individual couple's issue rather than an across the board ratio - something you and wifey need to agree on, I believe.

[Raymond]

Wow Micou you're a ball of fire. I would never have guessed. Sorry this is a light relief thread. This is great within marriage. A lot of people think that christians are stopping sex but we encourage it within marriage where it was meant to be. I find the purity greatly adds to it. When I say purity I mean nobody else just her, no images porn etc. or whatever.

Raymond

[Micou]

Hi Raymond

Sorry if I shocked you. I am really a very healthy christian lady, but it's just that am carrying a heavy cross at the moment :D.

[Raymond]

Course I'm not shocked Micou. We all have a sexual drive or should have. Just don't believe in lighting the fire in the middle of the floor but in the hearth (marriage).

Raymond

[Alice Alice]

Mico you little kitten you :D

[Micou]

. . . hearth, living room floor, kitchen floor, stairs . . .sorry am in a crazy mood today - am reeling from being really mad to being really upbeat . . .bathroom floor . . .

[Micou]

LOL!! Thanks for making me laugh, Billyboy. Whenever, wherever and however is my attitude, but only with 'im indoors.

[Micou]

No, I said only with 'im indoors ;)

[Raymond]

I thought you said in the bathroom?

Raymond

[Micou]

You two are going to get me booted off this site :D

Anywhere and everywhere - 'im indoors would have to join me outdoors for sure ;) - but not at this time of the year with all this rain and wind :D

[tia1500]

HI
You will start getting a name for yourself Micou:)
My attitude has changed on that score i am with you micou anywere anytime .
But really try and get to bottom of it please dont go else where looking.Have you tried show her love with out taking it futher ie holding hands giving her a peck just giving her a cuddle. People seem to get stuck in a rut and take each other for granted i learned the hard way.

[Micou]

They're trying to lead me astray Tia, but I will stand my ground - LOL :D

Billyboy have you never heard the expression "'im indoors"? It means husband. A man would say 'er indoors referring to his wife - it's a Brit thing!

rrrrroowwwwrrrrr!!!! pfffffftttttt!!!!! miaaaooooowwwww!!!!!!!

[Micou]

On the rocks, shaken not stirred and a black olive please - however, with the weather the way it has been recently, may I instead settle for a nice hot mug of Tetleys please, guv!

No worries, am enjoying the humour. It does the spirit good to just kick off the shoes and laugh - with all the cr*p we've been through lately, it's definitely a tonic.

(((HUGS)))

Mic

[Alice Alice]

This was a great read i loved every secound of it !!!!

[Micou]

I loved thinking about it - whoohoo!!! ;)

[Raymond]

Thinking about what?

Raymond

[Micou]

Any time, any place, any where, any how ! ! ! Do I need counselling d'you fink?

[Raymond]

Just keep it in the hearth. Tell him to keep it in the hearth too.

Raymond

[val100]

God Micou you have even got raymond hot and bothered.
you are my kinda girl. Tia wants to get to the bottom immediately, I just can't comment on that.

You go girl, Life is about being happy and lets be honest if it puts a smile on your face and burns off a few calories whos complaining. I am a tad worried about the picnic now. you ain't using my blanket.

I have a 2 huge bathrooms in my house?????????
Only stop when your dead that is my motto.

Sideshow maybe you are trying to hard nothing as big a turn off as desperation. Not saying you are desperate but asking for it all the time is off putting for most women.

Raymond that was only a joke by the way you are always the rock of sense and I now picture you red faced losening your collar.

Micou, Vixen chick I love it. Keep the those chandeliers swinging for those of us sitting alone anywhere anytime.
I am keeping my embers burning though, phwoar.