Please Pray for Myself & Family

[Mems]

Hello all, Something devistating has happened to my family and I think we're still in shock. My Brother who is 2 years older than me, took his life on February 9th and my family is walking around in some kind of a daze. We still can't believe it. My life stoppen on Feb. 9th and I would like it back. I would like myself back, laughter, joy, my sense of humor has gone somewhere and I'd like it back. What an awful tradedy and finality. I have felt the Lord's guiding hands and comfort through out these past couple of weeks and I know that I know that my Brother is in his loving arms. My brother was bigger than life and had sooooo many people's lives he touched in a possitive way. He was very Christ like, giving and giving to so many without even being asked. He saw a need and met it. I think he gave so much because he was feeling so awful inside that it made him feel better. He was very depressed and I just wish I could have helped him in some way. I know for the ones who are left, guilt is part of the process and we have to all come to terms with knowing that there wasn't anything anyone of us could have done. But that's a hard one to swallow.

Please pray for God's continual comfort for myself and my family,

Thank you all and God Bless you,
Mems

[Micou]

Mems

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this painful time.

It's wonderful that you still feel God close to you - it is so important to hold and keep your faith at these painful times. They can be a huge source of comfort.

Please remember that these are very early days for you and you have to be very patient with yourself right now. Take one day at a time and allow your emotions to flow in whatever way they need to. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve in whatever manner is fitting for you. It is so important not to put a timescale on your pain or how long before you start feeling better. Flow with it, beat up your pillows, throw stones into a stream, scream into your pillow, write a letter to your brother just unloading how you are feeling and then burn it, then take the ashes and scatter it . . . whatever you need to do to cope with your grief, please just allow it to be.

God bless you and your family.

(((HUGS)))

Mic

[Mems]

Thank you Mic for your prayers. I truely appreciate you taking time to pray for myself and family. I have never prayed so much in such a short period of time as these past couple of weeks. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks and I have decided to have a pampering day for myself. Have my hair cut, pedicure and buy some new clothes. I am well overdo. I know your right when you say it hasn't been that long but I am really sick and tired of feeling this way. I want this sadness to go away. I have to remind myself to sit up straight, walk straight and talk a little louder. I am truely not myself at all. and I want myself back. I don't want to feel sad anymore. He made this decision and is with God, but I am still down here trying to go through my regular daily routine of getting up, taking a shower, driving to work, work a full day and then go home. This has been very difficult, just to do these "normal" things. My two sister's and I have had 2 sessions with a therapist together and our 3rd next week. This has been a tremendous help to us. God has opened many doors and I know the He's carring us. I feel like a robot and when I try to remember yesterday, it's a blurr. This is just awful. I have never experienced such pain. My brother was bigger than life and very well known in my town. Everyone respected him and enjoyed being around him. There were so many people that came to honor him, the line was out the door for more than 4 hours. No room to park. What a horrible tragedy. God has shown me that there are many ways we can turn around this tragedy for the good. I keep telling people that if we have learned anything from this, is that we should be more like my brother Kirk. Kinder to one another, our neighbors....hug the people you love and tell them how much they truely mean to you. give them your time and attention. Listen with an open heart and "Pay it Forward". Do something nice for someone each and every day. Don't let a day go by that you don't try to do something nice for someone. Even if they don't know who did it. How about keeping it between you and God. Let's all "Pay it Forward" This world would be a better place if we were more like my brother Kirk.

Thanks for listening,
Mems