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View Full Version : Engagement Advice


marresident
8th February 2008, 01:15 PM
I need help in a bad way. My fiancee and I got engaged about 14 months ago. I really messed up the engagement in horrible way. I wanted to propose on the day of our anniversary of starting to date each other. We had both mutually agreed that we would get each other anything on our anniversary. I wanted it to be special, and I told her the morning of our anniversary that I had gotten her a special gift. Well, after a heated argument, I told her that I had gotten her an engagement ring. Ever since then, she has been angry and hurt that I ruined a very special event for her. And she is right, what I did was horrible. We were engaged for a few months and the issue kept coming up. We agreed to break off the engagement. I took the ring back and we notified everyone that the engagement was off. Our plan was to get re-engaged a few months latter to have a new beginning. She went and picked out a new ring, and I re-proposed to her. Everything was fine till we started talking about the wedding. She wanted a small wedding with just her friends there, and I wanted a medium sized wedding(100-150 people) because I wanted my family and friends there. She doesn't particularly care for my family. So now she is really upset that we are having a wedding and that we are wasting money on it. In addition, she doesn't like that she has to plan the wedding. Now she has said that she doesn't feel like she even wants to get married because everything from the proposal to now feels wrong and it is upsetting to her. The initial screw up from the first proposal is still upsetting to her. I told her I understand why she is upset, but I can't go back and change my mistake. She says there are other things I can do to make the situation right. I even offered to her that we don't have to have the wedding. I just don't know what to do anymore. It is making us both miserable. Can anyone offer any suggestions as to what I can do to help her feel better?
:(

Justabloke
2nd May 2008, 02:21 AM
theres two possible outcomes, shes either scared of the commitment but really loves and wants to find herself first, or the commitment freaks her out and she doesnt know whether she loves you,

My advice is to be bold and ask her if she wants to be engaged,

look deep into her eyes.

you'll know there and then what her real feelings are.

you cant love someone without that empathy, if it isnt there then learn by experience

Love can be the most harshest of tutors, but we all need to know where we stand in each others hearts.

good luck

Bloke....