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Unregistered
22nd January 2002, 04:16 AM
My wife and I have been married for 11 years. She had kids from a previous marriage and they are grown and gone now, and we have no kids of our own. Since we've been married, we have slowly grown apart. I didn't watch much sports on TV when we got married (at least around her) and now I do. She hates sports. I do not like the Romance Movies that she likes and she doesn't like the movies or music that I like. That is just the beginning. We do love each other, sex is great, but we are both bored and are actually contemplating divorce because we have absolutely nothing in common with each other. Any thoughts?

Liz
22nd January 2002, 01:25 PM
It's very easy to grow apart if you are not trying to grow together. You might like to look at the topic area Coping with Disillusionment (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffdisill/).

Have you thought of a marriage enrichment course (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/healthclub/servprov/). These are intended to give marriages a boost or for couples who know there must be more for them in their marriage. It's not essential to have evrything in common to build a strong marriage, sometimes being very different can make it exciting. I'm sure there must be something you can find that you enjoy doing together (in addition to making love!) or talking about. It can be a challenge just finding out what each other does like and why. You might then find something that you would both enjoy doin together.

Another idea that might help is to try the Personality Profiler (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/pp/personprofile1.html). It can shed light on how we react to people and thnigs and why, and it can also help making choices in building up our relationships.

Don't slip into divorce, just because things aren't going well for the moment. Boredom is a funny state of affairs - it usually reflects a general dissatisfaction with life and lack of direction and motivation. Perhaps you could start by talking about your hopes and dreams for life and how other areas of your life are going.

I hope that gives you some ideas to find a way through