Advice Needed Please!!

[Faith1]

Hello, I have met a wonderful muslim man who is 29 years of Age. I am a divorced Christian (catholic) woman with one child. We have only known each other to this day for about a week. The thing is we get along very well, however, i notice when we are out in public, he whispers, is conscious of who is around him. He has indicated that if i was to call his home and his mother was to answer, it would cause a great deal of friction and problems for him.
I have not heard from him for about 2 days, and I have not contacted him, because perhaps he is dealing with the dilemma of deciding whether to continue to see me or not. He said that if anyone in his community was to see him with me (a non-muslim) and it got back to his parents, it would cause GREAT tension and problems in his family..............
Any advice........is this something I should not pursue? I have come to the realization that if he does not contact me, then this is perhaps something that I should not pursue and leave it at that as he has apparently made a decision that his religious values are more important than our possibly pursuing dating etc.
Should I quit while I am ahead and before my emotional attachment to him grows?, and avoid any potential heartache? He is a wonderful man, very romantic, charming.......however it appears the religious aspect is a potential red flag.
Any advice would be appreciated.

[1aokgal]

Faith1...

your common sense is banging you in the head and you are NOT listening. Run, do not walk, in the opposite direction. There are so many prohibitions about a man of Muslim faith to become involved with a woman who is Christian it is not funny. It is also possible the man could be married. In some cases these men are going to marry a nice chosen Muslim girl who will not have sex prior to marriage and there you are to take up the slack.

He is going to keep you on the side and sure not intorduce you to friends or family. Why? He is ashamed to be seen with you. If that progresses to a relationship go read some of the info even on the internet about the Koran and what the rules are for sex and dating. You would NOT want to be in that situation.

You are attracted because of the element of stealth and mystery. It is a little like hunting a quarry that is elusive. Who catches who? Don't waste time on this one ..you truly will have nothing in common as he has a lifetime of teaching him that sex with a gentile is forbidden. You will be the back street woman, and a fill-in. The family will never accept a Muslim son who strays outside the religion. This has always been a conservative sect but today it is also asking for real trouble to be so involved. Do your research about others who walked that path and how miserable is the result.

Another thing I noticed is that you considered or he mentioned that for you to call his home would cause problem with his mother. Why would this man be living with his mother? Could be that he does not want the chance you call the home as he is married. I think a friendshio of one week a woman should never consider to call the man. A woman should let the man make the calls. I sense also as you seem to be the one who wants to pursue. You have a marriage and divorce behind already. Never pursue. What is the rush on a new relationship?

Either you are very young or not educated to the world we live in today.
Use great care.

[Fatimah]

This is a very difficult one to answer. But the fact he is wary to be seen with you is not a good sign. It would be helpful to know which culture he is from, before commenting too much.
For a muslim man of his age to not already be married would be very unusual. He could be engaged to someone, and soon to be married. If he is from the Asian community, families tend to look more at culture than religion, and you dont fit into that category. However muslim men can marry Christian ladies. It is allowed in Islam, but not usually the norm.
Be very careful, so many decent girls have been hurt, often for paperwork reasons. I'm not suggesting this is the case for you, but find out more facts first before you become too attached to him.
If you can update us with anything else about him, it would be helpful.
If he is Asian, I know how charming they can be.

[Faith1]

Excellent Advice to the two of you...........yes, i think time will tell. I think it is wise to take things slow and not to take things too quickly. The first posting really especially opened my eyes......you are right, he may be already committed to some islam gal, who wants to wait before having sex and may see me as an opportunity as someone who will possibly satisfy his desires.