Shamrock
21st November 2007, 08:01 PM
I have been with my partner for 6 years, engaged for 1 1/2 years, and have done the long distance thing for the past year, with us planning to be together permanently in about 7 months from now. My partner sent me an e-mail where she described how her sister might move move in with her on a temporary basis, and how she had told her sister to check out the local guys on a personals page as there were lots of guys. I thought that was odd and wondered how my fiancee knew about what was on the personal sites. I went the the site she described and did a search for the parameters matching my fiancee and instantly saw a dead on match. I then e-mailed my fiancee and asked if that was her ad, and if so, where did I fit in?
I knew she would be upset, but thought she would understand where I was coming from. I sent her the ad and she agreed it sounded just like her. My fiancee's responses have described how I don't trust her and how can we move on with me not trusting her. She is basically ready to call it quits over this. I tried to explain that I did trust her but just wanted to check out what I saw so that I could reassure myself. I continue to be bombarded with how I don't trust her, how insecure I must be, and how wrong I was to check the personal ads. I guess, if it was something questionable about me she saw, I would expect her to check it out and ask me about it. By being honest about what I did and saw has now made me into an untrusting partner that has thrown everything down the drain.
How does a person ask tough questions? I thought relationships should be open and able to discuss anything. Instead, I feel like I have totally messed things up.
I knew she would be upset, but thought she would understand where I was coming from. I sent her the ad and she agreed it sounded just like her. My fiancee's responses have described how I don't trust her and how can we move on with me not trusting her. She is basically ready to call it quits over this. I tried to explain that I did trust her but just wanted to check out what I saw so that I could reassure myself. I continue to be bombarded with how I don't trust her, how insecure I must be, and how wrong I was to check the personal ads. I guess, if it was something questionable about me she saw, I would expect her to check it out and ask me about it. By being honest about what I did and saw has now made me into an untrusting partner that has thrown everything down the drain.
How does a person ask tough questions? I thought relationships should be open and able to discuss anything. Instead, I feel like I have totally messed things up.