Obsessed with my ex

[luisa76]

I was with my ex for 7 years and we split up 4 months ago, I found out about a month after we split he was seeing someone else, he took her on holiday etc etc. We are still living together because we can't reach an agreement on the flat which we joint own. I still love him very much and I am finding it really hard to get over him, a few weeks ago I came home to find his new girlfrien in our flat to which he promised me he would never do, i don't want to go out or go to work as I am scared to come home and find her there again, in fairness he didn't expect me home which I know is no excuse. Last week everything got too much and I took an overdose which failed! He is being supportive but continuing to live in the flat which is making me obsessed I have started to follow him and go through his things, I have become completly paranoid I know it is his life now but I do not know how to concentrate on my life instead of his and I feel I don't have any energy or motivation I feel more and more depressed every day but I know deep down I don't want to feel this way anymore.
I don't have many friends to go out with and I don't have any family that live close to me so I feel all alone and isolated.
Can any one offer any advice on what I should do as I can't go on living in the same flat as I am turning into an obsessed ex and it is so funny because I also read stories like this and thought that would never be me.

[1aokgal]

Somebody needs to move. You need to stay out of his things and not play detective. You should talk together and see there is agreement that no dates come home to the flat..neither of you. That was tacky for him to bring a woman in there.

Four months is a short time. Sounds as if you are still legally married. If this is fact he was WAY out of line to bring in a woman to the home turf even if you agree you both live in opposite ends of house.

Concentrate on you making a living or whatever you need to do to get one of you out of there. It is a poor idea to continue to occupy the same house. There needs to be some healing time and sounds as if you are real depressed. Do not get down and try to get yourself in a better situation. Any chance you can move in with family until the place is split?
Good luck.

[Raymond]

You are going through a tough time Luisa apart from the flat problems which is only exacerbating the problem you have. I don't know if you were married, but if you were or not, you are still suffering from adultery and unfaithfulness, which is no joke. It can tear you apart as you have given yourself to someone and he has done the dirty on you. I know in these days people count it lightly but it is still a deep wounding, especially if you have been faithful. You will need a lot of time to get over this and many on here have been through it. Iqbal is right you must try and get in touch with old friends or family if you can, even one friend can help. Relating to new friends a little will also help, but healing will take time and even innovation of new and different ways of looking at things.

There is a new life out there but you will need to make up your mind that it's over and learn to move on step by step.

Raymond