I need your advise and prayers now pls!!

[regainyourlove]

My wife had an internet affairs
We have married for over 12 years with children. I love my wife and children so much. I find out some weeks ago that my wife is emotionally involved with a married man on the internet. I confronted her and she denied it. When I produced the evidence she than admitted it. However I have taken note on my wife's reasons for behaving in this manner. I am now trying to make some changes in my part. Trusting is now a big problem for me, because I feel my wife is still not generous with the truth.

During this affairs period she made some friends on the same site, one of which is a man who changed his name to a woman to cover his identity. I have told them to stay clear of our marriage to enable us heal. But my wife said he needs this people as friends. I don't mind if they are truely friends.

I promise to contact them when our marriage relationship improves, because currently they are only reminding me of the previous affairs and the hurt.
Please can anyone advise me. If this new internet male friend is a true friend of my wife should his own wife be informed by him that he has an internet friend? should the friendship be keep secret in any way? . Can this lead to another affair if it is not open?

Thanx everyone!!!

Regainyourlove
__________________
Love does hurt,I can now understand!!!

[Marverline]

Hello, sorry about your dillemma. But really I think you and your wife needs to come off the site, as it it not benefiting you in the way that it should, especially your wife. I understand that she is feeling empty somehow, you have to look at your self, and what is not happening in your marriage for your wife to want to reach out to complete strangers, as also as christians, its opportune for the devil to take advantage of her weak points and yours!. Y ou need to speak to your minister or get some prayer partners, because if you now say that you dont trust your wife, then that's the end of your marraige, and im speaking from experience.

Marverline.

[danielx]

Internet relationships can be dangerous, not because they are the work of the devil but because they have a natural tendency to exploit weaknesses. This is not necessarily the fault of anyone, but more to do with our emotional nature and needs.

The simple fact is that, in the absence of physical contact and a normal social environment we lose most of the clues and the wisdom that we normally exercise when forming relationships. Not only that, but in a situation in which we communicate but the communication has had the emotion removed (as in the case of typed text) we tend to associate these somewhat stark communications with the emotion that we think should be, or ought to be, there. Very soon we are creating an emotional relationship because we crave it, not because it is naturally there.

There are very many genuine people online and relationships made in this way can be very successful, but there are dangers for those who are vulnerable emotionally. I agree with Maverline that your wife should come off the site, but if she will not then she needs your support and understanding and not criticism, which will increase her vulnerability emotionally.

DX

[GHYVR]

Whats the difference between an emotional affair and a physical one? Not really much except the touching.

If your wife's mind is there, she is as well. I've been down this road. It sucks. Whats more disgusting is the people on the other end of the keyboard not caring whether your wife is married or not.

Or then again, did your wife even tell them she was?

Internet affairs are really really easy to get going. There are literally millions of men out there waiting for a damsel in distress, and they know when one comes along. They say all the right things, all the things you didn't say but should have. All the right things that when said too late mean nothing.

I would say leave the site. Get her off of it. Ask her to join something new and get a new peer group. Too bad if she needs the emotional support. Get it from somewhere else.
Mine needed the support too. I let it go on after we so called "sorted it out. It never ended, it simply wasn't as visible until it was too late for us.

You won't win so long as she has contact.

Ghyvr