I think my marriage is over?

[MissT]

I dont think I love my husband, he lies, he has deceived me on the internet and on WAP on his mobile phone. He won't stop smoking or even try so that we dont have to go through ICSI again. We are in debt but he keeps on spending. He has recently just got back from Iraq and I didn't miss him. I struggled with the baby but coped and now find it hard him being around again. We have slept together twice since June 2006. I am not interested in sex. I know I would be happier without him. He is not violent, he is an ok Dad. I feel his career in the army comes before us. He has not supported my post natal depression whatsoever. He has knocked my self confidence and self esteem hugely with little comments and tuts and huffs and puffs. He is so defensive and negative and slags everyone off on TV.

However, I would love to be a family. I want to bring my daughter up with her Mummy and Daddy around. I just don't know what to do about it. I have told him how unhappy I am numerous times, he says it will all be ok, but it really is not. He will just not sit down and talk amicably. He is just not capable. I just don't know what to do???

[Marverline]

I know how you feel as im on my second marriage, but if you think thers hope and love him, keep strong. I will get back to you, the baby is crying.

[Marverline]

Hello again

ive put babies to bed so ths is the only time for me uninterupted. What do you think when hubby says it will be ok? perhaps you could ask him what he means by that and how he sees things in the future. Try to speak to himat a time when you think he is relaxed and open. Marriage is not easy, we have to work at it. At least hes not violent towards you, and hopefully not mentally, as that's a harder one to deal with. I am on my second marriage after 13 years, I stayed for the children, but after a long time the mental abuse and mistrust from him, was too much for me.