danman
10th September 2007, 03:32 PM
My wife of four years moved out last October 06 taking my two year old son with her. Her reason for leaving me was that she was unhappy and couldn't deal with my issues. My issues being that I easily became angered and had mood swings. I do not deny this, I went through a stressful period with work where I had to work a combination of night and day shifts in a job that I hated but was desperately trying to get out of to improve things because I knew it was affecting out relationship. It wasn't just this too as I never really listened to her enough and I had problems taking things in, my mind wonders so easily. We were though a loving couple for almost ten years. Towards the end there was no intimacy and closeness which I missed so much and caused frustration on my behalf which again I also attributed my mood swings to. I've never been unfaithful and I've always wanted for things to work out. I made big changes in my life and got off shift work into a normal working week, and I was a transformed person, I could walk to work, get home early evening - but it was too late by this point as she had already left and didn't hang around long enough to see the changes in me, which had she done, I am convinced that we would have grown stronger.
She moved two hundred miles away from me, to be closer to her family, which meant I had to do a lot of travelling at the weekends to see my son - she wouldn't bring him back to our marital home because she thought it would be too upsetting and confusing for him. I can see her point in this.
I've spent the last year working my way into something that I thought would have made a difference but she didn't come back to me, even though she could see and said at times that I seemed a happier, calmer person. I've spent the last eight months looking for work to be closer to the region where my son is and I have finally got something lined up. I will be moving into a flat next month and will finally be able to have my son at weekends now and much less travelling involved.
I actually thought that if she could see me in my new place and I was a bit closer then we might still be able to work through things. Over the last year she has let me stay at her place but always in the spare room whenever I stay. Recently she has been saying that she feels uncomfortable with me staying there and I have now found out from my now three year old son that she is sleeping with her next door neighbour. My son announced this to me last week. I confronted her about this and she said she was going to wait until I was settled in my new place before she told me. She's been sleeping with him for about a month. She thought I would be angry at this when I found out, but instead I remained calm even though inside I felt a horrible hollow yet heavy and sickly feeling which is still eating away at me.
I feel really empty and alone now, I'm a very sentimental person and I keep going over all the history we have together. I wanted my marriage to last forever, I don't want to meet anybody else, I can't even think about moving on as nothing will ever compare. Yet, although I don't want to I know I need to accept events and move on in my life.
Saying that, I'm now considering divorce proceedings and my question is this: She deserted me a year ago, and although we have been separated for this time, has she still committed adultery in the eyes of the law?
Thanks for reading.
Dan
She moved two hundred miles away from me, to be closer to her family, which meant I had to do a lot of travelling at the weekends to see my son - she wouldn't bring him back to our marital home because she thought it would be too upsetting and confusing for him. I can see her point in this.
I've spent the last year working my way into something that I thought would have made a difference but she didn't come back to me, even though she could see and said at times that I seemed a happier, calmer person. I've spent the last eight months looking for work to be closer to the region where my son is and I have finally got something lined up. I will be moving into a flat next month and will finally be able to have my son at weekends now and much less travelling involved.
I actually thought that if she could see me in my new place and I was a bit closer then we might still be able to work through things. Over the last year she has let me stay at her place but always in the spare room whenever I stay. Recently she has been saying that she feels uncomfortable with me staying there and I have now found out from my now three year old son that she is sleeping with her next door neighbour. My son announced this to me last week. I confronted her about this and she said she was going to wait until I was settled in my new place before she told me. She's been sleeping with him for about a month. She thought I would be angry at this when I found out, but instead I remained calm even though inside I felt a horrible hollow yet heavy and sickly feeling which is still eating away at me.
I feel really empty and alone now, I'm a very sentimental person and I keep going over all the history we have together. I wanted my marriage to last forever, I don't want to meet anybody else, I can't even think about moving on as nothing will ever compare. Yet, although I don't want to I know I need to accept events and move on in my life.
Saying that, I'm now considering divorce proceedings and my question is this: She deserted me a year ago, and although we have been separated for this time, has she still committed adultery in the eyes of the law?
Thanks for reading.
Dan