After 37 years

[catsfoot]

Hello Everyone,

I'm writing because you are my last hope in getting the help through prayers and the much needed support in order to be strong and to carry on with life in a normal way.

I find myself loosing the only man I've loved for the past 37 years. I don't know what is happening and/or what is going on. He is no longer the same loving, kind man I fell in love so many years ago. I just don't have the strength any more to try to sit and discuss the situation with him. I keep on giving him one more chance to change but to no vail.

I strongly believe that with prayers and God's Love we can face anything that is put in our path. Please pray that our love for each other will once again grow much stronger and healthier than it ever was.

Thank you to All for your support. God Bless.

Catsfoot

[Lauz]

I just don't have the strength any more to try to sit and discuss the situation with him. I keep on giving him one more chance to change but to no vail.

Catsfoot - What is the situations / issues?

[Sparky]

Hi catsfoot yes I believe that prayers can help us get through situations and it clearly is helpful for you. But I think you also need to try and get your husband to talk with you as he may be experiencing a mid life change thingey or even feel unwell and require some practical help this is certainly what my husband required from me rather than in my case an ethereal declaration of love. So try different approaches find a route that reaches your husband and find out why he is behaving differently. Keep saying your prayers for your sake but demonstrate to your hubby something from the earth plane - a tangible form of loving support in order to understand and cope/help with whatever may be bugging him.

[catsfoot]

Hello Lauz,

Thanks for your suggestions they are greatly appreciated. The situation is that he doen't care anymore, he wants to be free and wants to be single again. He can't come up with a reason or excuse of why he feels this way.

[catsfoot]

Thanks Sparky, we've tried different approaches but nothing has worked. It only makes him more irratable and distant. I hope and pray that the prayers will help in some way. Thanks for all your support and prayers.

[Sparky]

Dear catsfoot,
My husband has had similar behaviour but said he felt unsurported and lonely! you can imagine I felt devastated as I love him deeply and felt I provided this.
However I realise now that in my case I need to develop myself more as an individual sometimes we lose ourselves in trying to perform the role of the good wife/partner etc. Is this what has happened with you?
I think it has with myself and I feel my husband wants to see the woman he married all those years ago and admired off a distance i.e. what he saw as a confident capable woman standing on her own two feet.
I think your husband may have the mid life crisis in which we all re-evaluate what we have achieved so far in life and ponder on whats missing or have not achieved. The wise couple realise this and consciously try to widen their experiences individually (allowing your husband to have some 'space; may help) and hopefully to bring those experiences back to each other as a couple. In my case my husband has moved out but will be back some weekends I am scared but I know I need to develop myself in the meantime, maybe in the process he will see me anew maybe not - but I am going to do it primarily for me (I think catsfoot you and I need to be a little more selfish and do things for ourselves it seems you have sacrificed a lot of yourself for your husband in the past like I have. It seems odd but people do not ultimately respect this!! I do not propose you become mean but you have a right to express your desires and have them met if not you must find it elsewhere (interests self-development etc). take care Sparky xxx

[Lauz]

Would you h consider counseling? My h too could / can not identify why he is so unhappy. He has been seeing a counselor for many months now and I attend with him every now and again.

My h too asked for space and lived away for about 5-6 weeks to think and get his head together. We still saw each other in this time.

I struggle to come to understand MLC, but it obviously happens and I think the sooner the people going through it get help from an independent third party the better. The problem here is that they need to realise and accept what they are going through and talk to their spouses about it. My h did not and he remained unhappy for 18 months putting on a mask that everything was OK with us. This unfortunately led to an emotional affair and one night of drunken sex with his boss. What I don't understand is how anyone can imagine that starting something with another person is going to make them happy when they realise what they have done in betraying their spouse and breaking down their marriage!??!?! As I said, I don't understand what people going through MLC feel, but I wish they would realise the world does not revolve solely around them!

My h and I are battling through this year - its been the hardest in all my life. He still has his own issues to come to terms with and work through.