Wife says she doesnt love me

[val100]

Love and durecell usually. Oh ffs stop this. Rabbits eat the farmers turnips don't you know.

DROP THE RABBIT .


My future is gonna be fantastic loads of laughs,lots of happiness a few bob in the bank and hopefully smeone to hold me when the wind is howling because I aways feel scared then

[teacherman]

O.K.

My future - Secure in the knowledge that I have found someone that loves me as much as I love them. Dont care about money or any of the other stuff just going to be happy.

Its true you can live on love

[lonelylass]

Hi Bunny, sorry Hunny,

Who knows what the future holds, have a lot of bridges to build and trust issues to overcome.

I would wish for a home in the countryside, somewhere with lovely neighbours and a safe environment for my animals.

Notice no love there for now, my glasses aren't rose tinted at the moment.

LoLa x

[teacherman]

Hey Lola i am going to post this whilst very drunk so it may seem a little diss-jointed.

i too have got a problem with the trust issues. Even though i have a new lady in my life i still worry about things when we are not together. Maybe its because of what we have been through. I dont believe for one minute she would ever decieve me but i still have the nagging doubts in my mind. i tmay take me a while to get over these but I will eventually cope.

I would love to live in the countryside, nice cottaged, thatched roof, stream running through the back garden and somewhere nice to take the dogs for a walk.

Actually feeling a bit down tonight. My new lady is Ill, so spent the evening alone. i am depressed, first time we have been apart and it hurts. Got to admit I am having the strangest feelings. I want to be able to make things better and I cant. Sought solace in a bottle of brandy and think thats making things worse. My minds working overtime. Think cos i have been hurt in the past I am expecting it to happen again. She has sent messages all night but I just feel alone.

God if this is what love is, it stinks. I will regret this in the morning. The studs turned into a wreck again. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Tim

[Micou]

Sweet Lord am horrified at what has been going on on here whilst my back has been turned! Someone pass me my prayer beads and some holy water!!! Children you all need saving!

LOL!!!!

Tim, howz you're 'ead this morning mate? Hey, why didn't you go and be night nurse to your lady? Am sure you could've figured out a way to get her better reaaaaalll soon ;).

I love this thought of looking to the future. What I hope for my future is this: to buy myself a nice cottage with a lovely garden where my grandkids, children and dear friends can visit me whenever they like. I hope I have a close male friend who will invite me out to dance, to dinner or pictures or just to come round and have a natter or a beer and a laugh once in a while. One of my most favourite things in life is to sit on the beach and watch the sun set - *BLISS*

As I am battling with trust issues (everybody in the house say "aaaaayyyyyee") and I know it will be a very long time before I ever let any man close to my heart again, I just want to chill out with good friends and enjoy my life one sweet day at a time :).

[val100]

Hi there guys,

Tim as always I have some experience of where you are at. Forgive me for being a know all here guys.

I have a confession to make.

After my H left in august, I got involved with a very beautiful young man.
I didn't intend on this but he pursued me and my H was being a maggot and infact I just need the company.
He was a very clever guy he kept me at a distance and taught me how to feel safe with a man (after my H asssaulted me I would have panic attacks if I guy stood too close or I would feel threatened Etc, as for physical well I was so unbelievable screwed up.
Anyway young guy literally held my hand and brought me through it. BOY I WILL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL TO YOU.
I haven't mentioned him to you guys before because In a way he was my therapy does that make sense???
Anyway tim this guy taught me how to let go of him and be independent when we weren't together, He gave me no option but to trust him and we only had contact maybe once a week.
When we were together we had a lovely time he was a total gentleman.

It took me ages to train myself not to hold onto him for dear life because I didn't want to be on my own.
Tim self dicipline is what you need. You do trust this woman but you don't want to lose her because the feeling of being back in someones arms is fantastic, you feel you haev a purpose, you feel you are lovable, you are on a high.
As you wrote about how great you felt I could identify with that high and feared for your low.
You need to step back and take it easy. She may start putting bounderies in place because she may feel suffocated, if this happens just go with it it is amazing how controlled and relaxed this will make you.
However you will have to keep reminding yourself it is ok to be away from that person.
In my present situation I haven't heard from him since wednesday, I have to stop myself from pacing the floors and say he will call if he wants to and I mustn't hound him.

This is all new to us.

as for the Boy well it phizzeled out, I realised I didn't need to have this relationship, I believed that I am as fantastic as he told me and one day he threw a strop and I just deleted his number. After a few months I realised I wasn'temotionally attached and that actaully i wanted more from myself.
I owe this guy a lot but eventually it was me that realised I was going to be ok on my own.
tim just relax if this doesn't work out you will survive and you will have the tools and confidence to try again, you are a stud after all.
You jumped in with both feet jump out for a small bit and just do a bit of paddling .
Stop drinking brandy it will hurt your head

[teacherman]

Hi Micou
Head feels really great this morning (liar liar). Feels like some workcrew are trying to bury their way into my skull. Good job I have nothing to do this morning.

I did offer to play night nurse but shes too ill plus the fact I dont wnat to catch it (Thinking of number one again - stop it)

I did offer to rub her chest with VIC - but vic was busy (he he) - I am going to see her in a moment so that I can make her breakfast in bed and soothe her fevered brow. Still think its the after effects of all the fun and alcohol and lack of sleep we have had over the last couple of weeks.

Got to admit I am ****ed and I dont think its from the brandy. My body is telling me to SLOW DOWN YOUR NOT 21 ANYMORE - Why do I still feel like I am.

STill smiling and still very very happy. Might have to look for that country cottage for me and my lady. Roses around the doorway - nice country pub - Village green - Peace and tranquility.

Ahhhhhh Bliss.

Tim

[val100]

You guys would love where I live what you describe is exactly what is around me. I live in a modern house but cottages abundant down her

[teacherman]

Sorry Val - Posting just as you were.

You really talk a lot of sense - I agree things have moved very fast but its still all good. She has taught me a lot about myself over the last few weeks. One of the main things is to learn to love and respect myself and not worry too much.

We have had the frank and open discussion about my past life (I.E. the wife) and she understands I have issues about how I was treat. Dont think we will get to the stage where boundaries are put up as we both talk about things as they happen. We both actually know where we stand and respect each other for it.

You might be right about time apart from each other. All I know is that when we are not together we miss each other.

I do trust her, Its not her, it me. I think cos of the situation we have all been in it is hard to really put that to the back of your mind. All I know is that each day gets easier.

Apart from now as I post this, I havent thought about my ex wife for ages. Something I never thought I would get out of my head.

Time is a great healer its true, I do think I have found something/someone special and I will try not to be to full on but god its hard not to be with her.

Will get back to my old self very soon - Hopefully when the asprins and black coffee finally kick in.

Tim

[val100]

exactly tim.
Thrilled you can see after a night of brandy.
I know you will be ok.

Having trouble keeping my H out of my head, not sure why, feel a little down think I am really just going through the last proccess of grief.

Feeling lonely, no news from new man as I said though I have to let that go.
I am working 7 days a week and I am very tired, a little under the weather and the nearly lost control of my car driving the 100miles to work at 6.30 this morning, took 10minutes for my legs to solidify after, (huge rainfall here loads of surface water the car aqua plained) You would have been proud of my driving skills.

[teacherman]

Val - You must have had a good teacher.

Think the problem is that with all Highs there have got to be some lows. Just wasnt ready for them. 4 weeks of happiness after all the hurt have been great.

Things will get better. I know she cant help been ill - think we have both overdone it a little bit over the last few weeks. We have booked a weekend away where we can just get out into the counrtyside and relax, think its what we both need.

I had trouble keeping W out of my head but dont anymore - Somebody wrote on this site a while ago that when he thought about his W he imagined a big red stop sign in his head and the thought would go away - I have tried it and it works.

Think we all need to relax a little - Dont know about anyone else but during my divorce i found myself throwing myself into work even more and I forgot how to switch off. Got to the stage where I was burning myself out.

Take a break - Working seven days a week is no good for anyone - I know I have been their and bought the T shirt - It cost me my marriage - Not going to make that mistake ever again.

Finding time for each other is a must, but finding time for yourself is even more important.

Take care and dont over do it.

Tim

[val100]

Hopefully it won't be for much longer. If H would support his kids I could pack it in but he prefers his money in his pocket.

He had a go at me on Tuesday and I just walked away from him, he was yelling don't you walk away from me, I just replied, "our marriage is over I don't need to listen to this anymore, if you want to speak to me then you are only allowed to say nice things"

I didn't get angry and that puzzles me, He appologised after via text and I didn't bother to reply.

I needed to write in my diary about what I was feeling and I found a photo of him in it. Suddnely I was struck with emptiness not sorrow no crying just a hollow feeling. I wrote on the photo, I loved Him!!
This I feel is my final letting go and with that comes fear as he was my world for so long.

I have a few family things going on and I am being put into a situation that I don't want to be in but loyalty is what it is and I will go through with it.
I guess it is all a bit wearing right now.

Sorry I am complaining.

I am at work and actually having a laugh. I am the boss with a bunch of pretend men. In a minute I will get them to make me a coffee.
KTish love that whip

[lonelylass]

Hi All,

Sorry wasn't around last night Stub but was teensitting til 11pm so didn't get back on here, I'm sure I'd have cheered you up somehow!:D

Micou, re above comment, will try in the future not to taint your beads!

Val, take it easy your place sounds idyillic btw.

Luv Ya All,

LoLa x

[teacherman]

Sunday Morning after a quite night in.
God I needed that - Didnt do anything - No TV - No DRINK - No Woman (That bit was hard no pun intended).

Feel better for it. My lady is feeling a lot better and is looking forward to our sunday lunch which I am going to prepare and cook - And before you all start its not a TV dinner in the Microwave. Menu as follows : Traditional Yorkshire grub.

Starters : Melon balls soaked in white wine just for taste
Main: Roast sirlion of beef with Yorkshire puds and all the veg and trimmings.
Dessert: Home made cheescake soaked in Grand Marnier

Maybe just a little too much alcohol??????

Afters: Who knows

He He its going to be fun - Beef is slowly cooking as I write - I am slowly boiling as well.
Love a traditional sunday lunch with good conversation and good company.
As for tonight - well - We will take that as its comes (Pun definately intended)

I am back - Refreshed, happy, and full of the joys of spring

Tim A.K.A. Teachertartman, Stud, Fun loving criminal, Joy to be with, Whatever
Full of myself today (He He) Amazing what a good rest can do.