PDA

View Full Version : Married 3 weeks and regretting my decision


whathaveidone
5th September 2007, 10:58 PM
Hello i hope you can help.

i got married just over 3 weeks ago (been together nearly 3 yrs) and i am now feeling very trapped and that my life is over at 26. I still love my H but i dont want to get intimate with him, but i think this is due to the fact that sex is very one sided - i do all the work (which i do enjoy) but fore play is something that happens to other people not me. We have talked about this, but i dont see him really wanting to put in the effort. His sex drive has dwindled due to the medication he is on and i appreciate that but i want to feel desired and not felt like sex with me is a chore, and there is only so much rejection i can take. I know that sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship, but i didnt think it would be over for me at 26.
Our relationship hasnt been normal for a while - I have been the main carer for my partner for the last year due to an on going illness that resulted him in becoming disabled ( cant go into too much details) which has been such a stressfull time for both of us. He is able to continue life as normal however. We both had doubts before the wedding and if i were honest i dont think we should have got married.. And to add even more complication i ended up sleeping with some one else last weekend - so feel free to hurl abuse, but i dont think you can make me feel any worse than i do now. He doesnt know anything about my infidelity and i have no plan to tell him - it would make me feel less guilty but break his heart in the process. Were my actions on saturday a reaction to my less than loving sexlife or is it the fact that i am in fact a complete bitch with the morals of a sh*t-house rat?

is this just post wedding blues or should i reside myself to the fact that this marriage is almost over before its even begun... i am such a mess i cant eat, or sleep and im sure H is beginning to suspect somethings up.

Any help/advise/admonisment would be so welcomed...

IcingOnTheMoon
6th September 2007, 02:00 AM
I really wish I knew what to say...I won't admonish you. That's not necessary, I don't think. I'm sorry your hurting and I admire you for sticking with a relationship that is taxed by illness. Not everyone can do that. I guess I really just wanted to reply so you don't feel so alone. I'll think on it a little and see what I can come up with, advice wise!

Hang in there!

Marverline
13th September 2007, 12:02 AM
Hi

sorry to hear about your marriage problems, your not alone, im on my second marriage, after 13 years, it got so bad that in the end I did what he as accusing me of doing and slept with someone else. Marriage is not easy you have to fight for your marriage if you love him, and he also. problems come when there is lack of communication.

Best wishes

Marverline