my husband is a sex addict

[angerywife]

I found out in january 2006,he couldnt deal with his guilt any longer and confessed. He said over a 3ish year period he had been to prostitutes on about 6 or 7 occasions,looked at porn,visited a nudist beach where 2 incidents (on different occasions) with men took place.To say i was disgusted,hurt and angry as hell is an understatement.At that point our son wasnt yet 2 and it had been going on since before we decided to have a baby.I had a worrying few months as we waited for hiv etc test results which were clear.
He said he realised his mistakes and would never do anything to put our relationship in jeapardy again so i decided to give our relatonship another go,it has not been easy.....but just as i was starting to learn to trust him.....a bit......he has told me he had another encounter with a man in a place where people go "dogging" apparantly,just last week! What the hell do i do? Part of me feels sorry for him but the other part of me is sooo disgusted and wants to knock him into the middle of next week!!! He has said things have been going on for the last 10yrs ,he even saw a prostitute while abroad getting married to his first wife(she had no idea about him). He says he feels so disgusted and guilty with himself for letting me down after everything he has put me through but i still hate him for it. He has admitted he has a problem and has been referred to someone at the hospital and is also seeing a counsellor starting next week. I am not one to give up on marriage easily but is there any hope? Does therapy/counselling really work? Our marriage is hanging on by a thread at the moment,i can never forgive him for what hes done EVER, but can i learn to trust again?
Is there anyone else who has gone through a simular thing? Any feedback would be a help as there is no one i can talk to about this as nobody else knows.

[markus]

I dont think you should even try to trust him again
he's a risk to your health and always will be unless you do the right thing and run for the hills !

[Raymond]

Very difficult one Angrywife. He has obviously got a dark past that he cannot shake off. These things are a battle with the best of help. Theres a lack of marality there. One cannot get that from doctors.

You know yourself if you want to back him in the battle. He will have to fight to be free. If he is willing to seek he could find answers. Depends how desperate he is.

Raymond

[Bouncy]

Get out of there honey.
If you can't forgive him (I totally agree with you there), you'll never be able to trust him again.
Find someone who will treat you properly, with kindness and loyalty.

[sue789]

Hi there
If you want to be able to trust him again then you need to (in time) be able to forgive him.

My partner is addicted to chat rooms and internet sex and we are currently trying to build our relationship back up again. It isn't the same as what you're going through but it's an addiction all the same. And who knows how far this would have gone if I hadn't found out about my partners liaisons.

I know you don't think so now but the fact that he told you (most partners find out) these things is the first step to recovery and is an encouraging sign. He does need professional help though. You have to look at it the same way you would an alcoholic or a drug addict. He can't get over those on his own and neither can you.

You need to decide whether you want to continue with your relationship. No-one would blame you if you didn't, but it is something he can beat if he's willing to put in a lot of hard slog.

Good luck
Sue